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letting down ds since dd arived ... advise needed !!

1 reply

rockyroadahead · 26/10/2013 15:07

ds 3years next month has always been very good at doing what he is told and has always got quite exited when asked to help out around the house e.g washing , cooking washing up ect ,
However since dd was born ,only 3 weeks , he wont do as he is asked ,tidy up time has turned into a full blown war , and when I ask him to help me do stuff he just says no which is strange as he has always seemed to really enjoy it !
Don't even get me started on bed and nap time has become are a real drama especially if he hears dd crying .(although he has always been a terrible sleeper ) I feel as though I am starting to resent him for this as the newborn actually doesn't sleep too badly and after all the work we have put in with his bed and nap routine pre - dd it all seems to have gone down the pan and I don't know how to get it back ?
I am assuming this i s all due to massive life change with dd arriving, his age as he is nearly 3 now and also he goes to pre school so I think he is picking up bad behaviour from the bigger kids as I find he is a lot more difficult when he comes home from school ,
I have been trying to use all my parenting puzzle techniques eg choices and consequences and rewards but I am struggling to stay calm as exhaustion and hormones seem to be taking over and I don't feel I am doing a very good job of coping with baby and toddler in the way I had planned to and strategized in the 9 months I was pregnant and feel very much as though I have lost my way on the discipline front.... !

guidance is very much needed. I so want to make sure ds feels secure and included but think I may actually be doing the opposite at the moment .

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
thing1andthing2 · 26/10/2013 19:08

When my ds arrived dd was 2.5. She desperately wanted to be the baby, so regressed in lots of ways, could this be an issue for your ds? It is also an attention thing. Are you both around at ds's bedtime? Maybe your DH could take the baby out for a walk while you do one on one time with ds for bed time and give him lots of special attention? Dd also became the most difficult ever at around 2.9 to 3y. It's a tricky time even without a new baby. Just stick to normal boundaries but with lots of cuddles and reassurance. Don't know what else to suggest really.

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