Come and talk to me about co-sleeping

[DaleyBump]

My little boy is due on the 30th of November but I'm being induced in 2/3 weeks and I'm starting to wonder about sleeping arrangements. It's going to be really cold and I'm planning to bf so I was thinking that it might be easier to co-sleep.

I'm concerned about the SIDS risk/rolling on him/him suffocating under covers etc, does anyone have any advice? Or would it just be better to have him in his moses basket next to the bed? I'm away out of range of my wireless so I won't be able to reply for a while if I get any answers.

TIA

We had the Moses basket next to the bed so that she could dreamfeed at about 1am then back down in the basket and up again at 4ish when she would come in with us and feed/doze till 7ish. I was always nervous about suffocating etc esp when she was really tiny so was relieved when she got to 2, then 3 months and better able to push duvet away from her face if necessary.

In fact I wake whenever she moves or makes any sound and I'm normally a v heavy sleeper so I shouldn't have worried really. She is still coming in with us at nearly 7 months and I'm dreading her moving to her own room

Having said that, next time I will be going for a bednest to be extra safe and not have that early worry.

I'm not an expert, and was totally paranoid about rolling onto/over DS so didn't co-sleep with him until he was about 3 months old. By that point I had fallen asleep whilst BF loads of time, mostly on the sofa which is far more dangerous than co-sleeping IMO.

With DD we did get the moses basket out (it is still by the bed but full of clean nappies so I don't even have to get out of bed to change a nappy ) she has only slept in it a handfull of times.

I think the most practical advice I read last time round was to have your own duvet only up to your waist and wear a cardigan or similar to cover your upper body and sleeping bag or celular blanket for baby.

DD is a brilliant feeder though, I barely have to wake up for her to latch on and she is only 11 weeks. With DS I was having to use shields and getting him latched was a feat in itself.

Basically, I would advise you to read up on the pros/cons and best way to make it as safe as possible. But as with all things baby related make no plans, the baby won't necesarily cooperate

Oh, forgot to say that snuggling with my beautiful angel first thing in the morning when she wakes up properly and smiles the broadest beaming smile to see me again, is absolutely the best feeling in the world! (soppy pfb emoticon).

It was definitely the right decision for us and I hope that it works for you too.

I loved my co-sleeping cot (Bednest), it was the best of both worlds. Especially as I had a CS and hoisting him out of the Moses basket a dozen times a night was not much fun.

I ended up co-sleeping with ds and panicked constantly as we just put him in our bed as he just wouldn't sleep on his own so really researched it with dd. we bought a nct bed nest and put her in a sleeping bag and put a summer duvet on the bed that was really thin.

She refused to ever sleep in the bed nest (total waste of £250) I think because the mattress was too hard so we bought the cot from ikea that you can turn into a couch and just took one side off and attached it to our bed.

She slept in it for nine months and it was much less stressful than just putting her in with us as no worry about her falling out or being squashed by dh. Best £60 I ever spent!

Just do it if it works and don't waste a second worrying.

Sorry I have been known to get a bit huffy about how a tiny increase in a tiny risk has some how been blown out of all proportion.

However, it doesn't work with all babies EBF DD2 co-slept beautifully part of most nights.

Mix fed DD1 hated it, wriggled, squirmed and as soon as she could pulled herself up on the bed head and bounced.

Do whatever gets you most sleep. The risk of having an accident driving your baby to the shops, half asleep are probably way greater than the risk of co-sleeping.

oh and you don't roll on the baby, they don't roll on their faces and they don't fall out.

The last point still mystifies me, because DD2 has fallen out of assorted beds more times than I can count and even being 12 and having a double bed does not prevent her occasionally waking up on the floor.

Yet she could co-sleep on the very edge of our bed just under the very edge of our quilt in the crook of my arm and never move.

Mine all 3 slept with me it was the only way to get some sleep! I used to push the moses basket next to the bed so they couldn't roll out. DH was sent to sleep in another room! I had the duvet over me on half the bed and the baby in a sleeping bag and a night light on so I could see they were ok. I just had to roll on my side to feed them it was so easy, good luck with everything don't stress and enjoy being a mummy.

The guidelines here are very helpful. I also got a couple of the LEN waterproof cot liner from Ikea, and put it under our own bed sheet - it is easier than having to wash the main mattress protector every time there is an accident, which does happen occasionally!

We love cosleeping. After a few months I got the Sniglar cot from ikea and took one side off to set up as a sidecar crib, to help DS get used to sleeping on his own surface and to give us some more space - this is also a good idea if you are concerned about safety or just really love having the duvet pulled up to your chin

Co-sleeping properly with proper precautions is very safe. Like you've mentioned, accidentally falling asleep on the sofa is less safe, and what gives co sleeping a bad name, I think.

One little point - it's not SIDS if they die during co sleeping. Then it's suffocation, or something else. SIDS is when there is a lack of cause.

I read Three in a Bed - a fantastic book about the benefits of co-sleeping: not just the bond it creates, the ease of breastfeeding, but also about how your breath on their faces as you both sleep induces them to take a breath as sometimes a kind of sleep apnea can come into play, and they don't take a breath for ages. Your breath out will encourage them to take a breath in.

Practically, we did several things:
Get a cheap Ikea cot, Gulliver, because it has two heights and the side comes off, and it fit perfectly against my side of the bed.

Always had him on my side, not between me and DH.

Always above the duvet with the duvet around my waist - DS was born late October so I wore a vest I could pull up easily and a cardigan. He either was in a sleeping bag or had his own cover - cellular blankets - over him and tucked around his waist. I got the Gro Company sleepsuits with padded arms to keep him warm.

I absolutely love it but was nervous the first night. He actually fell asleep on the changing mat which was on the bed so I just covered him up and cuddled up to him on that, and he slept on it the entire night! He'll be a year old on Sunday and we still co-sleep. Love, love, love it. He's still feeding one or two times a night and it has definitely reduced my tiredness - I just roll him over to me, latch him on, fall back asleep.

www.amazon.co.uk/Three-Bed-Benefits-Sleeping-Your/dp/0747565759

We've co-slept with DS2 from day 1, he is now 4.5 months. Our arrangement is: king size bed. Bed guard on my side. DS in pyjamas and sleeping bag between me and the bed guard. He's lower than my pillow (so his head is about boob height.. very handy) and not covered by my duvet. If I need to feed him on the other side in the night I will move him over and then move him back when done. Although having said that he's fine in the middle as both me and DH are hyper aware of him when he's in the bed, but DH complains that DS encroaches on his space

We pretty much co slept from the start, a combination of lack of mobility following my Csection and also not prepared to sacrifice sleep to try and force her to sleep in the Moses basket.

I didn't have any covers at all, just wore long sleeved tops and pyjama trousers. As it gets colder, you might need socks too! Just meant I wasn't remotely worried about her suffocating.

And don't worry about making a rod for your own back, DD is happy in the cot now (5 months) although she is still right next to the bed and holding my hand!

Thanks for all the advice, really useful :)

Zebra, sorry, I know what SIDS is but for some reason I thought there was an increased risk of it in those that co-sleep. Sorry if I made that up! :)

No, my apologies if that bit of my post was patronising! I think there's a misconception that co sleeping causes SIDS when the definition of SIDS is that there's no discernible cause of death. But you know that so I'll stop banging on about it ??

That was meant to be a

I'm in Sweden and they recommend co-sleeping in their bf-ing leaflet and don't have a higher infant mortality rate if that helps?
We have a Sleepyhead for DS. Good for when they're really small and you're more nervous. We have separate duvets (Swedish thing!) so DS is in between us with his blanket and we just make sure pillows are out to the side so his face can't get near them.

Actually with DD I did the duvet around the waist and cardigan/jumper thing! And no duvet just clothes. She's two and sleeps all night in her own bed in her own room now and we miss her.

Ds co-slept until he was 4.5. We have a 6ft bed with a memory foam mattress so it is too hot for duvet and we have always used top sheet with one or two blankets. He slept in a carry cot initially but like most bf mums I regularly fell asleep feeding so eventually gave up putting him back in his cot.
He was a brilliant sleeper and we slept better with him between us. I did a lot of reading around the subject. One writer asked 'Have you ever rolled onto your partner when sleeping?' an obvious question.However co-sleeping after drinking is not advised. We put a bed guard up so that DS could sleep on one side of the bed if DH had had a drink or if we wanted a bit of adult fun.