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Parenting

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Original poster

What's it like bringing up 2 girls?

27 replies

earlycomputers · 04/07/2006 18:41

Hi - I have 2 daughters- 2.3yrs and a 5 week old. Having not had a sister myself, I was wondering if others out there who have had a sister or who have raised 2 or more girls, if they have any tips/advice for me? I am imagining all sorts of issues from sharing clothes/fighting over makeup when older/jealousy over boyfriends/will there be loads of arguments between me and them when they are teenagers - you know - the mother-daughter sort(sons aren't supposed to have those classic teen rows with their mothers are they?) etc etc. I would like to know the worst of it and also the good points too. I am hoping that because they are same sex, they may have more common interests and perhaps be closer? Also, are girls easier to bring up than boys or is this a myth.Thanks in advance!

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charliecat · 04/07/2006 18:54

My 2 girls are 5 and 8. They play together all day every day. Marvellous

LucyLemon · 04/07/2006 19:40

I have 2 dds, the eldest is nearly 6yrs and the youngest is nearly 3yrs.
Sometimes they absolutely adore each other and are a joy to behold!
But mostly my dd2 drives the dd1 around the bend. She idolises her and constantly wants her to play with her. My eldest is bossy and wants things done a certain way. My youngest is just the same really which inevitably means they clash.
I had an older sister and hated her until I was about 17. I did steal her clothes quite a bit. Also her make-up. Didn't EVER fancy her boyfs. though!

I wouldn't be without her now though - she's probably my closest friend and I can tell her things that I wouldn't tell my other friends.
Although she can still really really bug me!

Polgara2 · 04/07/2006 19:44

Ditto Charliecat!! They do have slight spats but nothing major or long lasting, they love each other loads n loads .

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fennel · 04/07/2006 19:45

i have 3 dds. can't see any drawbacks really. i also have a sister who's always been my best friend so I only really have positive views of sisters. we didn't argue much growing up, we saved arguing for our brother. also, my sister and I were so close we rarely needed or confided in my mother as we were growing up.

hana · 04/07/2006 19:59

earlycoms - I have 2 girls nearly 5 and 18 months, and am 6 months preg with ANOTHER girl. It's fab - can't really say it all here and of course there are ups and downs, but they are still little....

With regards to arguments and rows etc etc - so much of that can be avoided in the way you parent I think. I didn't have a paticularly great relationship with my mother growing up - the classic 'she doesn't understand me' sort of thing, - there wasn't a lot of communication though which is key. I am also the middle sister( younger brother too poor guy) and it was tough growing up. Everyone wanted to assign roles to the 3 of us which largely stuck. Had paticularly awful relationship with my older sister ( 15 month gap) until we were in our 20's. Too much in common, 1 year apart in school, same friends _ I think our parents could have done more to repair it and nourish it when we were growing up - esp in the teenage years. We've dealth with a lot of it now and I miss her so much and value her opinions and advice ( her kids are much older than mine) Younger sister relationship was always good and still is.

tips?
always have enough underwear inc bras especially for your girls. Seriously !! This was a big one in our house, there were never enough to go around. so many fights over this!!
-clothing allowance that they can spend as they wish on clothes of their choosing when they are teens
-if sharing bedrooms have their own dressers or wardrobes. V important. same with bookshelves and desks.
-spending time individually with them. I used to long to be an only child, and time alone with my mum was rare and cherished when I was younger

Although I love my sisters to bits now it was a rocky road, and if I can avoid even some of that for my own girls I'd be pleased.

on the plus side, can use clothes again and toys and things like that! lots of pluses. I'm thrilled I'm having a 3rd girl

expatinscotland · 04/07/2006 20:02

I have two daughters - age 3 years and a 6 month old baby. I also grew up w/a sister, although had many male cousins around.

Can't see any real drawbacks.

bogwobbit · 04/07/2006 20:11

I have 3 girls aged 19, 15 & 2 (and one boy aged 8 as well).
My eldest two fought like cat and dog when they were younger (but no more than dd2 & ds do) but since the younger one was about 11 or so, they have got on much better. Although they have completely different interests / personalities they obviously have enough in common to be friends, which is lovely to see and makes me with I had had a sister myself. They do still fight over clothes though, esp dd2 stealing dd1s whenever she's away.
Most of the time I get on pretty well with them. Can't say we have too many nightmare mother-daughter rows although dd2 can be a moody little cow sometimes but generally we all get on reasonably well.
I certainly haven't found them any more difficult to bring up than my son, although I my mum (who had 3 boys and 1 girl) always used to say I was much more trouble than my brothers. Think a lot of this is probably down to individual personalities etc.

BigSister · 04/07/2006 20:18

Why on earth are you worrying about what MIGHT happen in more than 10 years time NOW? You can only wait and see how your girls will relate to eachother surely. I have 2 bros and 2 sisters and have never treated them differently because of their sex. It´s just to do with how you get on.

hana · 04/07/2006 20:45

don't really think she is worrying about it - just asking for others experiences

BigSister · 04/07/2006 20:47

A-ha.. do you just want to be ahead of the game earlycomputers? ; )

Angeliz · 04/07/2006 20:54

I have 2 girls aged 5 and 15 months and they adore each other. I hope it will always be so.
I grew up with 2 sisters (till one left when i was 13 and i didn't see her for nearly 10 years again- we emigrated......long story). The other one we went through a stage of despising one another.
The happy point i'm making here though (), is that through all that, we now get on and we are always here for each other (all 3) in a crisis and i am so glad my girls will have that too. I always say friends come and go but sisters are there forever, even if you don't talk for years.

About girls being easier, well my 2 are quite easy going i'd say but totally different personalities so i think it's down to the individual child rather than the sex. Although girls 'look' easier to me i'm due a boy soon so will see

Miaou · 04/07/2006 21:03

I have two girls, now 9 and 7 (about 17m apart). They are totally chalk and cheese - one is v quiet, bookish and a tomboy, the other is loud, active and very pink and sparkly girly - but they still get on really well and still play together a lot, though a little less than they used to.

The only advice I would give at this stage is don't treat them both the same because they are the same sex (and don't let others do it - my pet hate ) - they are individuals and are bound to have distinct personalities.

Don't know about girls being easier than boys, ask me again when ds hits his teens

Mog · 04/07/2006 21:49

I'm one of two girls and like someone posted you can be so close to your sister that mum gets left out.

tinyFox · 04/07/2006 21:52

I am one of two sisters and we did not get on at all. But everyone is different aren't they.

poisson · 04/07/2006 21:52

girlas are pants

JanH · 04/07/2006 21:55

cod, your prejudices are showing

JanH · 04/07/2006 22:01

ec, I have DDs 3 years apart, then 3 more years, then DSs 5 years apart.

DD2 is a stroppy sod and because of that we have had spats all her life (21 years and counting) between various family members and her - for this read me and her, DH and her, DD1 and her, DS1 and her and DS2 and her...you get the picture?

But 2 DDs as such needn't be an issue at all.

I don't have a sister either but my girls are a great support for each other when not spatting and I envy them that. At some ages girls are easier, at some ages boys are, but they are all your children whatever sex they are and they are all wonderful

Scumster · 04/07/2006 22:04

Janh's dd2 is so lovely to non family members that you would never ever guess that what janh says is true, however. I have a little sister, earlycomputers. She is very fab.

poisson · 04/07/2006 22:05

i think tis mnice havign a sisiter hwne you are older
i love being able to confide in mys sister nad moan to ehr abotu ny slughtly barking mum

JanH · 04/07/2006 22:09

Speaking as a slightly barking mum, I'm sure that what you say is completely true, cod

Feistybird · 04/07/2006 22:11

I have 2 dds, but grew up with, and am still v.close to my one brother.

They get on great, fight a lot less than me and my db did at that age - however when we got to our mid/late teens, my db and I would go out with a big group togther and got on great....hope I will say the same about my DDs at that age.

Miaou · 05/07/2006 07:26

Oh yes cod, I was desperate for a sister, am quite of my dds in that respect! At least they have the opportunity for a good relationship. (I have 2 dbs and really it was not the same!)

harrisey · 05/07/2006 11:07

I have 2 dds, dd1 is 6y5m, dd2 is 2y8m. There is a ds in the middle, age 4y5m.
The 2 girls play together much better than either of them with ds, there just seems to be a kind of connection there.

I am an oldest dd and my sister is 2 years younger. I have to say we had an idyllic childhood but we hardly speak now as we have nothing in common - I dont think that having a sister is a route to having a friend, I am much closer to my (younger) brothers.
We didnt fight with our mother as teenagers as she wasn't around (left when I was 12), but we did fight with our parents - but not with each other much - we have just drifted apart I think.

harrisey · 05/07/2006 11:08

when I say parents - I mean Dad and dsm, who he married when I was 15. But not with Mum

SKYTVADICT · 05/07/2006 11:22

I have two DDs 10 and 6 and they get on really well. As there is 4 years and quite a size difference between them I don't think there will ever be a clothes sharing problem!

They play together most of the time really well but definitely have their moments when it can get quite physical! DD2 winds DD1 up and also tries to get her into trouble for things she hasn't done!! Its all down to personality differences which I a sure you will find when your DDs are older earlycomputers.

My two have been a lot closer since their Dad and me split up and they go to his house together every other weekend and share a room.

DD1 is already very argumentative with me and I think teenage hormones are kicking in early, can't wait for the real ones!

My sister is 9 years older than me and we get on well now but she was already a "grown up" when I was growing up so no tips from me on this.

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