"Oh, I would NEVER do that if/when I have a child" ....

[Missgiraffe1]

I think it's safe to say Karma has well and truly kicked my judgey-panted arse

I remember looking at stories and pictures on Facebook of my cousins DD being naughty and thinking "I would never allow any child of mine to make that mess/empty the cereal box all over the floor/scribble on the walls with lipstick/eat dog food out the bowl" etc etc

And I would watch my DB and DSil run around after my DN trying to get one more spoonful of dinner into him, thinking "my child will sit in a high chair when it's feeding time at the zoo and I won't be chasing him/her all over the place like that"

Well, HOW WRONG WAS I??? My 17.5month old DS is a hooligan!! And he's so bloody fast! He can open a bathroom door &throw a shoe/phone/toy car down the toilet quicker than you can blink!!

We have had furniture dented and scratched, a tractor thrown across church almost hitting the alter (we don't go much, it's too challenging!), my friends babies hit on the head by random missiles, lamps and ornaments broken, escapes out the front door (which is locked at all times) laptops jumped on..... Just to mention just a few fairly regular occurrences.

And he watches baby tv and eats biscuits

Anyone else find that the reality is somewhat different to their previously rose-tinted, uninitiated views on parenthood??? (Disclaimer I have a 17yo but clearly forgot absolutely everything. Either that, or she was actually an angel compared to her little bro)

Ps re my op. I should maybe make it clear. I would never intentionally allow DS to eat dog food out the bowl. But he did accidentally stick his face in DGrandparents dogs water bowl once. Boak.

@ hooligan!

I swore I'll never shout, scream at my kids or swear in their presence like my parents used to.

could you fucking guess what?

but I'm trying my utter best to at least not ignore or criticise them.
And I don't lie to them.
if I don't want to or can't answer about something I just say that.
or I admit that I don't know.

And I don't promise anything, ever, instead I say this:
"I promise you that I will always love you. Everything else is a plan"

so I think we are ok. they think I'm a fantastic mum, despite the shouting.
I don't think I am. I think I'm about good enough. which is fine with me!

I'm always amused by the number of people on teenager threads in chat and aibu who are convinced their children will be well behaved teenagers, and who subscribe to the "you reap what you sow" belief.

They honestly think that if they teach their small children to tidy their rooms/put away toys/eat nicely at the table/talk politely to adults, etc, that their children will be like that when they hit 13.

It's rather gratifying to see (on the teenager board) that when they actually get to that stage they get a rude awakening.

I'm only 6 weeks into parenthood and already identify with this thread. No dummy indeed.

Zombiezing. I like your ethos. The swearing thing is something I need to work on, promoted recently by teen DD videoing DS saying "shit"
whilst I chortled away in the background

Which ties in nicely with your post maryzombie. Quite.

Ah, everyone's a perfect parent until they have kids!

We stuck with the no dummy thing but DS slept with us until he was three weeks old as he would not sleep in his crib. We always said we would never have him in bed with us, until we realised you'll do anything for sleep!

DS watches cbeebies when I need to get things done, else I have him trying to 'help' or evict me from the kitchen.

i thought children could be sleep trained with very little effort and as a primary school teacher i thought i had behavior management cracked. ha bloody ha.....

having seen my nephews and nieces in action MaryZombie i am at least spared that rude awakening!

MaryZ as the aunt of a 'goody two shoes' who completely changed when she hit 12? I am right there with you.

I can only imagine what my 'sweet gentle' son might be like in 8 years!

I thought I'd never use chocolate as a bribe and that they wouldn't watch any TV until two. I also didn't think I'd have pictures of 6mo DD tucking into a chocolate Magnum!

I said I would never use disposable nappies or give the dc a dummy but did both and I promised myself I would knit all their jumpers but I have yet to pick up a pair of needles.

did stick with the no toy guns, no saying shut up and no sweets or crisps at home

Can I join? My daughter is 16 days old. She now has a dummy and after DH an I categorically stating 'baby will never sleep in our bed, too dangerous etc', I hang my head in shame and tell you all the night she was born, she slept in our bed with me and DH too paranoid to sleep, constantly checking she was breathing etc. 16 days later, she's still there. massively exhausted sigh

See that Maryz has beaten me to it on the teenage front, but these double standards never stop throughout childhood.
My children would always go to clubs that would enrich them - nope
They will always look neat and tidy and wear age appropriate/tasteful clothes - nope
Healthy balanced meals, especially packed lunches
The annoying thing is Dsis still says she won't let hers do all these things, plus yours. Hers are 5 years younger so I have to wait ages for 'I told you so' by which time she denies all knowledge.