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Parenting

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Original poster

Dummies are driving me nuts!

27 replies

SummerSevern · 18/10/2013 14:16

We gave our DD a dummy when she was about 3wo because she was uncomfortably gassy and very sucky. Now, at 13wo, she won't go to sleep without one.
Fine, I have no problems with her having a dummy to get to sleep. Except she needs it putting back in all night! It starts at about 2am and generally goes every 30mins. She's definitely not hungry, we've tried feeding her, and she's having none of it. She just wants her dummy. She's the same with naps, too. Every time she enters her light sleep phase, she calls for it.
We've tried taking it out once she's settled and falling asleep, but she's such a light sleeper that she just wakes up and cries. We tried going cold turkey in the day the other week, but she just choked on her hand and then cried till we gave in.
So, is 13wo too young to get rid of the dummy? Should I just tough it out in the hope that it will get better? Or do I get tough now, before it gets too ingrained? And how long will cold turkey take? What can I expect?
I'd appreciate anyone's experiences with this. Thanks.

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debbie1412 · 18/10/2013 14:26

My ds never had a dummy he's now 3 always slept solidly through the night. Used dummy with dd to help through early months because she comfort fed. 12 months on stuck in a cycle of 3 or more dummy runs a night. My advices stop it while you can it only gets worse x

leelteloo · 18/10/2013 14:39

Dummies are a nightmare; you feel they really help to begin with and then they are nothing but trouble. My hv told me that I must get rid of ds's dummy now (13mths). All sorts of dreadful effects if they have them during speech development. She told me to just take it away, cold turkey. She said it takes 4 nights. I am pregnant, have a baby that wakes up at 4.45 and a 4 yr old who still wakes me up several times a night most nights: I cannot face 4 nights of no sleep. But on the other hand he is now starting to wake twice a night and I'm back doing the bloody dummy run and will I want to do that when new baby is also keeping me up? No. So this might be the dummy in the bin week. Look out for strange and delirious post from me cursing and rueing the day I ever gave my baby a dummy!!!

RedPencils · 18/10/2013 14:44

I used to put loads of dummies in the cot so DS could reach for it himself. Obviously your dd is still too young to manage this bit so you either go cold turkey or put up with it for a few more months.
My other DS was a thumb sucker which was much much worse than a dummy.

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debbie1412 · 18/10/2013 14:56

Yep done the lots of dummies in cot, even bought glow in the dark ones. Nooo she would rather I came I'm retrieve the dummy and put it in her mouth.
To add to the thread anyone here with experience of doing cold turkey think I'm about ready to bin mine off aswel x

RedPencils · 18/10/2013 15:03

We did more phased approach.

Dummies only allowed upstairs, so we had a little bix that he had to out them in that was kept on the bottom of the stairs. He go an have a little suck now and again but eventually gave up
Dummies only in bed

Eventually all the dummies fell under the bed and he stopped looking/asking for it

I know some people go cold turkey by 'giving the dummy to Father Christmas'.

RedPencils · 18/10/2013 15:05

Just realised the baby is 3 months old! Obviously fc won't work with her!

KatoPotato · 18/10/2013 15:08

Most 3mo will wake through the night! Be pleased that a dummy will comfort her and that you have a solution in the middle of the night!

My DS had one until he was about 2.5. It never affected his speech in the slightest! IIRC he had around 100+ words at 14months. (not a stealth boast, just trying to bosh the dummy/speech notion)

KatoPotato · 18/10/2013 15:09

Sorry, just read again that its every 30 mins!

Maybe you should just ditch it!

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 18/10/2013 15:11

Red probably a bit optimistic

Cold turkey now - it will be painful for a couple of days/nights, but it will be 'job done' instead of months or years of it. She can't choke on her hand, she can only gag - cuddle, comfort, rock - whatever it takes to get through it.

Leetle - why is your 4 yo waking you up through the night? For the younger one I would go cold turkey with the dummy now, it will be horrid the first few nights, but then you wont be up and down all winter looking for bloody dummies!

Original poster

SummerSevern · 18/10/2013 15:12

Every 30mins is a good night. I honestly would have no problem if it was once or twice. But she's not getting the good quality sleep I know she needs.

OP posts:

SingSongMummy · 18/10/2013 15:14

I got rid of the dummy with DD2 at 11 weeks for the same reason - she slept through from 8 weeks but then started waking for the dummy. I sat with her until she was asleep for the first nap and bedtime without the dummy and she was a bit cross but then didn't wake for it. I felt a bit evil for the first few minutes when she was crying but she has ever since been an amazing sleeper, sooooo I would go for it!

firstpost · 18/10/2013 15:15

We have a bedside crib so you can stretch your arm out and put dummy back in while barely waking up

Original poster

SummerSevern · 18/10/2013 15:24

First, we do too. And it did make it better forca while, but it feels nearly constant atm.
Right. We're going to go cold turkey. Wish me luck! I might be back here tomorrow to curse you all ask for more tips. I'm ashamed to say that because of the dummy, the rest of my soothing repertoire ain't what it should be.

OP posts:

KatoPotato · 18/10/2013 15:28

Does white noise still work at 13weeks?

KatoPotato · 18/10/2013 15:28

OP you are putting me off seeing about getting my Mirena removed...

Original poster

SummerSevern · 18/10/2013 15:34

Kato it helps. We already use it though. Also, boo hiss! Don't come into my yard and flaunt all your lovely sleep.

OP posts:

waterrat · 18/10/2013 19:05

We had exactly this - went cold turkey the improvement in sleep was incredible - was much easier getting him to sleep without it than I expected - first night without it he slept 6 hours straight ... Throw them all away

waterrat · 18/10/2013 19:08

Ps - absolute cold turkey ! It has to be ... They will be a much much better sleeper without it - bin them before night time so you aren't tempted

At the moment your r getting awful sleep so you have nothing to be afraid of ! We used SH/pat cuddling Etc to soothe at bedtime - didn't tend to pick up from cot unless he was distressed - tried to let him settle himself although he was a few months older

Longtalljosie · 18/10/2013 19:11

I did cold turkey on the advice of my excellent HV. I was up every 40 minutes with her so it had to be done. It was grim. But four days later we were there...

angel24711 · 18/10/2013 21:56

We also went cold turkey at 5 months. Best thing we! ever did as we were constantly being woken throughout the night before.

We gave our son two Cuskis instead (they arrived the night the dummies went), which he loves and he cuddles and sucks them instead. Two means he can always find one in the night. Don't really like the look of the Cuskis but their safe for the cot and he likes them and they help him settle himself to sleep.

leelteloo · 18/10/2013 21:58

Ok: cold turkey going well so far. He went to sleep having his bottle though. We will see what the night has in store. I have not been brave enough to throw them in the bin just yet.

Original poster

SummerSevern · 19/10/2013 11:18

How did it go leel?
After talking it over with DH yesterday eve, we decided to start by getting rid of it in the day - partially because she's so young, and partially because DH isn't in the best of health and is struggling with lack of sleep already.
So she went without a dummy all yesterday and we're just trying to get her down for her morning nap now.
I'm just worried that we're going to end up with a whole new sleep prop, ie rocking her in her pram.

OP posts:

waterrat · 19/10/2013 13:41

Op I promise your sleep will improve rapidly if you ditch it ..,, night time is when it's causing the real pt

leelteloo · 19/10/2013 16:14

It did not go well and I caved in!!! But today he has had his naps without the dummy and they have been fine, so I will try again tonight. I'm just so tired due to pregnancy my will is weak but I know in the long run it will improve sleep.

Original poster

SummerSevern · 19/10/2013 16:54

I know, Waterrat, I know. But I've got to request my DH's request not to do it while he's feeling so poorly.
In the meantime, naps today have been ok going down with a little rocking. But she won't go through her light sleep phase without her dummy, so naps have been 30 mins rather than her usual 1-2hrs. But wonderful DH managed to get her to sleep at 4 after 10 mins of tired crying (I would've given up the nap) and she's just now stirring 45min later. So I'm going to leave her and see how it goes rather than going back to rock her.

OP posts:

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