Feeling like a rubbish parent... how do I cope with my toddler without the TV?!

[LadyBoxe]

My 16 month old was a really challenging Velcro baby, and it's only in the last 2 months or so that I've been able to easily do anything around the house - make a quick lunch, have a cup of tea, quickly do the washing up etc - without him crying and hanging off me. This is because we discovered Peppa Pig DVDs (we don't have a TV licence, so no normal telly possible).

But now I think he is watching too much. He points at the TV and shouts 'Pep! Pep!' when we're in the front room, and I try to distract him with toys, but... it gives me such a nice chance to have a cup of tea/put the washing on/mumsnet that I give in too easily.

How much TV would it be ok for him to watch? 30 minutes per day? 1 hour? We spend a lot of time out of the house precisely to avoid this issue, but especially now the weather's getting worse we're going to be home more. How does anyone get anything done without sticking the TV on?

Give yourself a break.. you have only just discovered the telly!!! wowzers.

My son is 22 months. we watch up to an hour in the morning, and then another hour at bedtime. sometimes he'll ignore it, othertimes we'll sit on the sofa together and talk about what's on. if he's under the weather we'll just cuddle up and watch films together (thomas of course).

We do a lot of outside activity during the day, and read books etc. he has a balance. just like I do as an adult.

pop it on!!!

k

Peppa pig is taking over my house! Dd (2.10) has discovered Nick Jr Peppa - a whole channel devoted to Peppa!

I need to be firmer, I am a bad mummy at the moment.

I'd try not to worry about it, my DS1 is 4 and he has phases when I feel like he's watching too much telly and then it passes and (like now) he never wants to watch telly at all (sadly...). We didn't give him any screen time before he was a year old, and then started letting him watch bits and pieces until he got to about 2 and developed favourite programmes etc.

Until he was bout 3.5 we always used to watch telly with him if it was on so it was a social thing (hate the tv as babysitter) but as he got older he was happy to watch it by himself (for 15-20 mins at a time) so we did take that time to have tea.

I had DS2 in May and definitely found that for the first 2-3 months of the new baby, DS1s tv viewing increased tremendously, but after having a weeks holiday in Sept when we didnt have telly on at all really, he's hardly watched it since we got back.

I'm sure in another few months he'll go through another telly phase, but I'm not too concerned. These days we tend to try to persuade him to watch telly as his 'down time' when he's getting overtired and hyper - and when he was 2 he woudl take all his naps falling asleep in front of telly on sofa (it worked - i wasn't beating myself up about it).

Your son has just discovered telly as a new thing, so its understandable he wants to watch it all the time, I don't think 15 minutes here and there is a bad thing (and once he's on cbeebies some of the programmes there (unlike peppa pig!) do have an educational element, I know my 4 year old got a lot from alphablocks.

Sorry realise my exclamation mark after peppa pig could be deemed judgemental - just wanted to add that my DS1 also loves peppa pig, but I hate it, hence my exclamation mark (something about all that grunting I just find wrong) It always amazes me though how childrens programmers manage to find out what makes children laugh when as adults you find them irriating (DS1 laughs aloud at abney and teal while me and DH sit and watch it, scratching our heads!)

We have almost no TV at home (kids 6, 4 and 2). I am not at all judgemental about other people using it, it's just what we've chosen to do. The older two watch a DVD about once every couple of months, and occasionally (maybe once every 3 or 4 weeks) watch half an hour of stuff on the iPad with DH.

The things that keep my 2 year old occupied are jigsaws and Lego (Duplo). She will spend hours and hours playing with Duplo, it is an obsession, and will do jigsaws for half an hour at a time. I can have a cup of tea/put washing on etc. while she's doing that quite easily.

If you want to avoid having your DS asking for TV a lot, I would just have specific times of the day/week when it is on, and never ever switch it on at other times. It will take a few weeks for him to get used to the new regime, but after that he probably won't even think of asking for it other than at the 'routine' times.

For some reason, if people find out the kids don't watch much TV, they are always trying to persuade me to have it on 'to let them wind down'. It doesn't seem necessary to me - pottering around with lego, or reading books (the younger two will go through looking at the pictures and 'telling themselves' the story if no-one's available to read to them) seems much more relaxing to me.

Use TV when you need it.

At other times do what childminders do - you can set up different activities on a mat on the floor every morning and get them playing with that stuff. The more you can foster independent play the more they will be happy with amusing themselves.

Rotate what you set out regularly so they don't get bored - so puzzles, cars, happyland or whatever you have, dolls and clothes, threading etc. We live in a flat with no outside space but DD loves playing with water - sometimes I will sit her in an empty bath with a basin of water (with or without bubbles) and she can play with that for ages, bathing dollies or squirting stuff around (while I clean bathroom).

The paint pallet type paints are great for the wee ones as they don't make too much mess and wipe up easily. Both mine would paint with those for ages - onto plain paper to into cheap colouring books.

Also a good CD of kiddie music can be a great distraction when they are asking for TV and are initially unwilling to play

I agree with setting up some sort of activity toy every day if possible - Happyland, toy garage with cars, duplo are all great. However, don't beat yourself up if that doesn't work and you need a break and resort to putting the tv on. I found it hard to entertain ds1 at that age - he used to follow me round demanding I play with him! It gets easier and they become more independent in their play. Ds1 is now 4.9yo and plays with toy cars and lego and does imaginative play by himself. He isn't addicted to the tv even though I went through a phase of overusing it, particularly when dd2 came along and I wanted to make life easier for myself. Show him how to play with toys but don't worry if he doesn't get independent play just yet. And pop on a dvd without feeling guilty a couple of times a day, provided you're not just letting it play on repeat!

We have the same peppa addiction here - what I don't like about it is that once he has started watching he doesn't want to play - and there are tears if it goes off

Unfortunately I think the answer involves effort ! Which is as people say, trying to put toys or games out in an interesting way ... Or tv only at certain times of day

Toddlers watching telly does not make you a rubbish parent.

As with food intake think of the amount of tv they watch as part of a weekly picture.

And relax

Ah I thank god every day for Peppa Pig! When DS started to say Peppa Peppa the moment he open fed his eyes I knew I needed to cut it down I read that is se countries they have tv guidance and the suggestion is for under 2's no more than 2hrs a day. In the week it's Definately less but at the weekend I try and have it on an hr in the morning (so I can get dressed!) and hr in afternoon (so I can cook!)

However this week we've been stuck in with DS's ear infection and if Peppa all day makes him happy so be it! DS2 due in 7 weeks and I know that the tv will be on a lot more! Don't beat yourself up

Peppa Pig, in those teeny short episodes - it's like crack!
I love it.

I love PP I mean (not keen on crack)

I imagine ....

We just try and limit the TV to certain times, but 20mo is probably getting 30-60mins a day. It's never just on in the background but she has certain shows she likes, so we tape them and then she watches one every few hours. Perfectly normal to put something on for 20 minutes while you get their dinner ready! We also have it on after a meal, so she sits for ten minutes and lets her dinner settle, and sometimes for the 10 minutes before her nap as it seems to calm her down.

But then the telly goes off (or gets turned to the news, something I've taped etc as she has absolutely no interest in watching that) and she plays. Seems to work well for us.

IMO you've got to pick your battles, and there's nothing wrong with ten minutes of telly here and there so you can get something done.

Tis as addictive as crack BeCool!!

Don't be so hard on yourself - a spot of TV while you get on with housework or whatever does not make you a bad Mummy! Honestly, it really, really doesn't. As long as it's not on for the entire day then you'll be fine - God bless Peppa and TV, I say.

DC has recently discovered In the Night Garden and adores it :) It means we get our dinner in peace too - win win!

I dont restrict TV time. Sometimes its on and he will be playing while watching. Sometimes he will sit and just watch.

TV is always on as I need background sound

I dont restrict TV time. Sometimes its on and he will be playing while watching. Sometimes he will sit and just watch.

TV is always on as I need background sound

Ds is 3 and at the cm all day most days. When he comes home he's tired and grouchy. We snuggle up on the sofa for an hour or so and it's lovely. It's like our special time. He does so many activities with his cm that he just needs to chill out and unwind. No harm done in my opinion. Everything in moderation so when we feel he's watching too much we find something else to do. Reading can be good to keep him calm. I heard that watching tv isn't as bad if you sit with them and talk about what's happening.

Im new to this mumsnet lark so not used to the jive u be talking lol dd ds dh e.t.c I think as long as the children are happy with either watching tv or playing with toys why interupt them if it starts gettin a problem THEN change your tactics

Why do you need backgroundnsound SP?

I used to worry about this too. Now I have 2 small dcs and one on the way I wonder where I got the time to worry about it! If it keeps them quiet and distracted for a while do it. Am currently mnetting with pepa pig on repeat :-)