my daughter won't give up her dummy, should I use the dummy fairy?

[Carly1000]

Help my 3 year old will not give up her dummy! People keep telling me to just give them to the Dummy Fairy - but she's soooo hooked on them I don't think this will work. She'll be devastated if they all just disappear in one go. Is there a Dummy Fairy book I can buy that will help?

My son wanted something a lot. We said the dummy fairy came when you were growing up (he was soon to turn 4!) And would leave a present in place of the dummy. He did not like this story much, and went about muttering "no dummy fairy no" for a while, but the appeal of the toy grew stronger. We waited a month or two longer than wanted to so could tie it in with his birthday. Toy arrived, dummy (all of them!) gone. He forgot it more quickly than I wouldve thought, though I know he sometimes wished for it. But it had to stop one day and he showed no inclination to let go himself. The dummy fairy helped us as he saw it as outside of our control - the fairy just comes, nothing to do with his mum or dad.

I read on ahaparenting that if you make a small hole in very tip of the dummy the suction will be ruined. Increase the size of the hole over several days or weeks and the child will loose interest in the dummy. I haven't tried this method, but sounds relatively painless.

I had exactly the same problem with ds and found a v good book that totally sorted me out. It’s call Bea Gives Up Her Dummy .
www.amazon.co.uk/Bea-Gives-Up-Her-Dummy/dp/0992616700
It follows the story of a dummy-addicted little girl who leaves her dummies out for the dummy fairy... It’s such a cute story and totally put ds in the mood to leave his dummies out for the dummy fairy. (he also knew he was gonna get a present from the fairy - which helped.) Anyway he was totally fine once they’d gone. I would definitely check it out.

There's a dummy tree at a tourist attraction near me. It's fascinating! Children who are ready write a message on a card and tie their dummies to the tree. I don't know if this is done elsewhere?

Are you in Denmark TheSurgeons?

No! But I've just been on google to answer my own question and I see that the world's most famous dummy tree is in Copenhagen.

We told DS3 that the dummy fairy had taken his dummy away when I just couldn't find it one night. We hadn't discussed it before but his older brothers had lost teeth so he was familiar with the tooth fairy. He took it really well, woke up to a pressie and was fine. He did ask for it for a couple of nights and was reminded it was gone. He also did mutter about the dummy fairy stealing his dummy for about a week afterwards and she did get blamed for anything else that went missing!

I'm embarrassed to say my 4.5 year old still has his dummy to sleep and I have tried everything! Started about a year and a half ago with the whole dummy fairy scenario. We went and bought a special blue bag, collected them all, went and posted them in the post box (sorry postman) got back and dummy fairy had left him a huge present and all was going swimmingly..... Until bedtime! Omg! The tears... J persevered for about a week (with not much sleep for anyone involved) and in the end a more experienced mum said to me if that's his comfort, is it really a big deal? Is it harmful? He will stop when he's ready so I relaxed about it for a while and we put a rule in place it was only to be used in bed. Since then I've tried various things, hiding them, making holes in them, bribery, threats of no Santa, going camping and 'forgetting' it, horror stories about his teeth falling out, getting the dentist to have a word, getting an older child who he respects to have a word. Nothing has worked for us. He will eventually fall asleep without it after about an hour and a half but then he wakes up continually in the night very upset and there's no calming him when he's in that half asleep state. He just thrashes around screaming. After about 3 nights of this I generally give in. So I need help too!! :) x

We gave it to a baby elephant at London Zoo years ago. It was not an organised thing, I just saw on the news that a new elephant was born and took DS he was just three at the time, and he handed over his dummy to one of the zoo keeper who very kindly agreed to keep it specially for the baby elephant. He did cry that night but only for one night, then it was all forgotten.

My DS used his until he was just about to join year 1 at primary school (just before he turned 5) - there didn't seem much point taking it away. It wasn't doing any harm and he always slept like an angel. He seemed to think it was time to stop using it of his own accord - I suppose as he realized that he was starting proper school and was now quite grown up, and finally enough self awareness to realize that other children his age weren't using them.

I used the dummy fairy, no present in return involved. My daughter only used her dummy in bed anyway. Both dummies put into a special bag on her door and off she went to bed without one. There was a tiny bit of upsetness. The bag vanished in the night and she never thought about them again (as far as I know). She was just under two.

blueberry that's such a nice story, I love it when strangers get involved in things like that.

Were planning to use DH's handed down faimly story of the baby Reindeer's need for a dummy at christmas. DD has been told already that on Christmas eve we will leave a mince pie for santa, a carrot for the reindeer and her dummy for the baby reindeer. I am currently on the lookout for a small cuddly reindeer to wrap up from the baby reindeer for her to open on Xmas day. Fingers crossedxx

Do you know anyone else with a little baby? My friend had hers about the same time as I was getting my son to give it up so I told him we needed to send them to my friend for her new baby and it went without a hitch.

My friend's DD still had her dummy at 5.

Her DM's friend took control in the end and told the little girl that when she was too old for a dummy it would taste DISGUSTING! And it would mean she was a big girl now who needed a special big girl gift.

She gave instructions for everyone to mention this story every day for a week.

Then when the little girl was all excited her mum painted all her dummies with that anti nail biting stuff that tastes vile.

When she tasted it she went running to her mum about how she's too old for dummies now and how she needed a big girl gift!

I may be flamed for this but is it really the end of the world that she still has her dummy. She's still only a baby and if having a comforter works then what's the big deal. It's not like she's still going to having it when she's 21 is it.
My D.D had her bottle throughout the day right up until she started school. She used to take it in to nursery with her, and she was still having her bottle to fall asleep with until she was almost 8.
I wrote her a letter pretending that I was santa and I told her that Rudolph's friend had had a baby reindeer and he needed a bottle and my D.D simply said. "The baby reindeer can have my bottle mummy. I'll leave it for Father Christmas when he comes and she never asked her bottle again. xxx

My twins were three and still having a a bottle of warm milk lying on the sofa before bed.

I sat beside them one evening as they were sucking and talked gently to them about how they were getting to be big girls now, and that big girls don't have bottles of milk at bedtime.

I told them that I would not be stopping the bottles of milk, but that they would know when it was the right time to give them up.

I said that once they were ready, they should just go and pop the bottles into the bin.

They finished their milk, got up and put the bottles in the bin, and never asked for them or mentioned them again

Could an approach something like this help in your case? It's handing over the choice to the child. Just a thought. Worked for me. :-)