feels like toddler hates me

[nearlyreadytopop]

in desperation here. Ds is 2. Until 15months I did all the putting to bed as he was bf to sleep. Dh and I then took it in turns. The past month he hasn't wanted me at night at all. Tonight was just the limit of him screaming for daddy and crying. Fighting to try to change his clothes. I just don't know what to do. The only difference is I have found out dh gets into bed and snuggles him to sleep. We had agreed not to do this as it takes over am hour to get him over and we were trying to do a gradual withdrawal so that eventually he will go to sleep on his own.
This is making me very sad so any advice very much appreciated

No advice but just wanted to say that you're not alone. In our house it's recently been the opposite in that ds would favour me over dh. No reason why really, just that I was there more (it was summer hols and I wasn't at work, and I only wort p/t anyway). It upset dh but he still continued to do the same stuff with him: bath him and give him supper every other night, offer loves and cuddles, read, give him drinks, tell him off if needs be etc etc. After a few weeks ds suddenly switched and direct all his affection towards dh. I'd told him off and sent him to the step for hitting his sister!
I have no advice, sorry, other than continue doing the same things as you always did, with the same patience, love and care and he will eventually 'come back' to you. Over time he'll grow to live both of you equally and look to you for different things than his dad, ie he might come to you for friendship advice or homework help and might go to his dad for help with cooking and health issues or whatever your strengths are.

They love you all the more- showing they trust you will not reject or abandon them.

thank you. I am finding patience I didn't know I had. I am glad dh is so involved with him and ds loves him v much.

Also glad to hear other toddlers can be so fickle.

ahhh hun, i feel your pain - me and DP have been there so many times with our DD, one month i'm the "favourite" and the other my DP. We just let her carry on, and we carry on doing what we always do, whether its with the favourite parent or not. we kind of have our own things we do with her, i rub her belly or back to help her sleep, or DP will spend a while reading stories (longer than i do anyway lol), DP builds lots of exciting lego stuff, does tickle time etc and i mess around, doing puzzles, chasing bubbles that type of thing - also we cuddle more and have chill out time with just the two of us having cuddles.

i tell her i love her every single morning and night :)

You aren't alone. DD (3) suddenly turned into a "daddy's girl" following our holiday. Obviously she is a bit older so can express it differently. I get lots of "I'm not your best friend, I'm daddy's best friend", "I'm daddy's girl, not your girl" and "don't speak to me like that". It turns out that DH also has a snuggle at bedtime but I was too mean to. However, in the middle of the night it's me she wants, lucky me . I think it is because she sees more of me, even though DH is a very hands on father. I think the most important thing is to not show if it bothers you.

Dd does this too, she won't even kiss dh goodnight, it feels so hurtful but all it really is, is them having a mild preference for a snuggle from dh at that point and deciding that they're going to deploy all their tactics to see if it works. I agree, try and ignore it or take it in turns to put ds to bed despite the behaviour.

I really thought this was just me. I'm sorry it happens to othets but it makes it slightly easier to handle. And it is me he calls for at night.

Thanks

This morning DD was happily sitting on my lap eating the breakfast that I had lovingly prepared for her, when she said to DH "can you take me to nursery?" DH said "no, I don't have time, Mummy will take you." DD responded with "Oh, but I don't like Mummy."

It really does make me want to stop putting effort in. I get her up, dressed, fed and take her to nursery everyday. DH gets up a bit later. I don't mind a bit that I do the mornings, but the ingratitude and rudeness is a little wearing. I have been wondering when she will stop being so rude, but suddenly realised that we will have to teach her not to say things like that, rather than laughing at them.