who was wrong me or him

[zoesmum2012]

Hey just a quick q me n dh and dd was out haveing a walk and on way back she starled crying I went to pick her up from pram he said no so I didn't she went on crying intil I hgad enough and done it anyway he said u need to fuckinh learn to leave her when she crys and since then been in mood not talkinhgg etc ???

He is wrong. A child who is crying needs someone to find out why they are crying.

How old is the baby?

and he shouldn't be speaking to the mother of his child in that way.

He was wrong

he was wrong and it shows he's done a real number on you that you even have to ask.

Nobody has the right to tell you not to pick up your baby, not even the father of that child,

9 months just told him am not letting it go in til he says sorry he replyed I don't give a flying shit I feel like crying

If my DD is crying I will always comfort her (unless its an obvious tantrum ). You were completely right. She's only 9 months old. They still NEED cuddles at that age.

Why does he think you shouldn't have picked her up, and why do you need to learn to leave her to cry? It's difficult to take the emotion out of what has happened but you really need to know what he thinks about those questions. What's he been like with her up until this incident?

Sounds like there is a bigger issue here to sort out - what if you needed to go out and leave her with him? At the moment you'd be worried that if something happened he wouldn't bother to comfort her.

I think there are bigger issues here. You did the right thing.

OP you will get good advice if you post in the Relationships forum.

Your husband sounds like a bully :(

I will always pick up my babies when they cry. You were reacting as most parents would.

Even if your partner disagrees, he does not have the right to overrule you. Good for you picking your little one up anyway!

You don't need to learn to leave your baby to cry if that doesn't feel right to you, we're wired to respond to baby cries for good reasons. Your partner swearing at you and treating you badly is pretty shitty. Will he talk about it when he's calmed down?

Hope you're ok.

Tell him that, like for anyone else, fitness and stamina is something that has to be developed; built up slowly over time by, for example, going for lots of short walks that get longer. Walks that are fun, interesting and exciting. Forcing a young child to keep on walking when they're clearly tired isn't going to make her want to keep on doing it; if anything they'll be mire likely to get anxious and dislike it. And it will only lead to tantrums and even more screams.

I wonder if, when he's tired, does your dh like to be forced into doing more physical activity?

Sorry I mis read, I thought your baby was walking and crying because she was tired.

Still, you did the right thing; picking her up to offer comfort and love. That is what any loving abd caring patent would do.

Please don't think he's a bad husband and dad he the best dad I no we were a few mins from house and he didn't c the point and he said sorry afterwords as am writeing this they are haveing a mini food fight with eachother when she was newborn he used to stay up all night so I cud sleep yes he's a idot at times but he makes up for that he's no bully

I think we need to know the full story of why she was crying, was it a tantrum? If so then I would say you were in the wrong, otherwise I can't tell as I don't know enough.

I have walked up the road with my baby in one arm pushing the pushchair in the other because she was simply unhappy in the pushchair. Babies this age cry for a reason. You were right. It doesn't sound like he has much respect for you.

kaysheilds a tantrum?? She is 9 months old. Why would you not comfort a baby? It's not like they display 'unreasonable behavior'!