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boys boys boys..........................

7 replies

ssd · 01/07/2006 13:59

this is a rant and a moan, I'd advise you to look away now.................

my 2 boys are 5 and 8 years and the summer holidays are driving me mental already. Ds1 plays out till gone 9 at night and ds2 wakes up between 6.30 and 7am. I go to bed at 10ish. I just don't get a minute to myself, except when dh takes the boys to something. We live in a busy neighbourhood with loads of kids that are allowed out till 10pm and come to our door at 9 in the morning with bags of sweets, obviously breakfast. I try and try to make sure ds1 doesn't eat too many sweets as he could happily eat them day and night, so the boys round here his age know to come to our door laden with sweets and he'll usually go out to play. It's driving me demented, I know a lot of the parents round here never say no to their kids as it makes for an easy life for them, but christ it makes it doubly hard for the rest of us.

Also my house is tiny and I mean tiny, we are all squashed on top of each other, there's no breathing space or place to go and sit and read a book. my living room has the tv/kitchen table/computer and toy box altogether oh and the washing hanging up too. It drives me mental too.

Also we have absolutely no help at all with the kids, elderly parents and siblings 300 miles away. We have never had a night away from the boys in 8 years, we've no one to take them. We have nights out separately once in a blue moon. Also I had to give up work as I was earning £5.40 and hour and paying £6 an hour to have them looked after. So we are living on one wage of less than £200 a week, which of course doesn't go far at all.

Before the kids I travelled a lot, enjoyed work and socialising. Thats all gone now. Please don't get me wrong I really adore my kids and wouldn't give them up for all the money in the world, it's just the continuous monotony of it all that gets to me. I see pother mums with family nearby who have someone to look after their kids the odd time or even just to continue their job and I'm really jealous. My mums naerly 79 and the roles are reversed, I look after her now, my siblings think mums about 60 and can take care of herself, so they visit once a year.

Sorry it's all just getting me down, need a braek and can't get one or afford one.

sorry for spelling too.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ssd · 01/07/2006 14:13

just read through that, think I'll turn to drink.

OP posts:
spidermama · 01/07/2006 14:17

You've certainly got a lot on your plate ssd.

Can you talk to your siblings and let them know your mum and you need them?

I know how frustrating it is. My family live a really long way away and never help. On the few occasions when they do visit they just sit and talk to me and watch me rush around doing stuff. I NEVER get a break and it does drive you mad.

I would hate my kids eating sweets because it makes their baheviour so much worse, but I guess it's really hard for you to put your foot down if all their friends are doing it.

I'm not being much help, am I?

Freckle · 01/07/2006 14:17

Have you applied for Tax Credits? An income of less than £200 a week would qualify for this.

Also, you are the grown-up here. If you don't want your son playing out till gone 9 at night, don't let him. My boys have always gone to bed at 8pm. Have only just started letting DS1 (12) stay up until 9.

Don't let DS1 answer the door. Tell his friends that he can't come out. You are in control here, not them.

Where is your dh in all this? What time does he get home?

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spidermama · 01/07/2006 14:29

Yes, I would agree. You have to make sure you get your evenings if you want to cling to your sanity and let's face it, losing your sanity wouldn't be in anyones interests.

So, decide what time you want them in bed (I get mine upstairs at seven then I'm back down again between 8 and half past) and enforce it.

Mine respond well to warnings eg: In ten more minutes you're coming in. In five more minutes you're coming in. Right - time to come it.

My kids are 1, 3, 6 and 7 and they all have the same bedtime routine - then the 6 and 8 year olds are allowed to do their own reading after I've gone.

christie1 · 01/07/2006 23:40

I agree. Push back the bed time for the 8 year old and make him get up earlier with the other child so he still is getting a full day and will be more tired around 8 if he is up earlier. Until you find good childcare that you can afford, I can only suggest you do more of time outs for the adults separately. If you could count on 1 night a week or a few hours on a saturday to go for a walk (I started running and its great), stop for a coffee, browse a shop, all inexpensive, see a friend, all inexpensive but gives you a time out from the monotony.

NotAnOtter · 01/07/2006 23:43

mine are 0,3,9,11,13 and i see non after eight thirty!

The older ones put self to bed but i have had it by then...

You need to be selfish and strict ssd!!

ssd · 03/07/2006 08:45

I know, I just feel I'm on a losing battle.

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