2nd baby- normal?

[louloutheshamed]

I have a 2.8yr old ds and ds2 is 5 weeks old.

Ds1 is a typical 2 year old. He is hilariously funny, bright, articulate, opinionated, imaginative, affectionate and generally wonderful with the odd tantrumming moment.

Ds2 is lovely but I don't have that whole 'would go to the ends of the earth' feeling for him, which makes me feel awful. I think the problem us I don't feel like I know him, I just feed him and change him and cuddle him that's it. I feel self conscious doing a baby voice when I talk to him as I don't do that with ds1 (although I'm sure
I must have once) and I don't really know what to say.

I have found myself grinning inanely at him for the last week in a desperate attempt to get him to smile- I feel like once he does I might know more of who he is??

Do i sound crazy?

Not at all crazy and totally normal.

You have developed your relationship with ds1 over two years and eight months.

You have known ds2 for five weeks.

It takes time I think. But don't worry it will come and be just as powerful.

I loved how dd1 adored dd2. Seeing their relationship grow is truly magical.

Just be kind to yourself and your feelings will naturally grow.

I felt the same about my son - to be honest it wasn't until he started smiling and interacting with us that I started to feel any connection. Before that I felt like a robot just there to keep another robot alive and I could never bring myself to make silly noises/do baby talk in front of anyone (even my husband) because it felt really fake.
Now he's 6 months and we are constantly interacting with eachother - I happily blow raspberries and sing to him while going round the supermarket with no inhibitions whatsoever!

Thank you I feel reassured now.

I feel a bit sorry for ds1 as he is so loving towards his little brother but at the minute he is getting nothing back. I can't wait until he can make him laugh.

When DS2 was born, I loved him but in more of an animal protective way than anything else. While I loved DS1 for his personality to the ends of the earth, I simply felt like I needed to feed/protect DS2.

But DS2 is now six months old and I now love him with a furious passion like DS1. I grew infatuated with him and now think he is probably the cleverest, funniest, most beautiful baby that ever lived (joint first with DS1).

I think of it as my love for DS1 being like spending three years with the love of my life. It's still exciting and very deep but I do take it for granted. With DS2, it's newer and in some ways I am more infatuated as it's a newer relationship, but we haven't yet had so long together. Basically, I adore them both and love them both equally but as different people.

Don't worry yet or feel bad for your DS1 that he isn't getting much interaction from his baby brother yet. This is a nice period where you and DS1 can be a team watching over DS2 who doesn't do much yet. My DS1 absolutely adores DS2 (can't bear him crying, spends the whole time kissing him) but his love was sorely, sorely tested yesterday when DS2 smashed up his painstakingly built Lego zoo. Now he wishes his brother was less interactive again.

Ah ruby what a lovely description of your relationships with them.

Ok I will try to remember to enjoy this bit!

Yes, as much as you can enjoy life without sleep!

I could've written your op. Ds is 7 weeks and can smile but even now I don't feel tge same bond as with dd (2). I feel guilty if I baby talk or kiss ds especially in front of dd.