where can I get help on a Sunday - pnd

[SingSoftKittyToMe]

Having an awful episode this morning. Mornings seem to be the worst time. 2 yo and 7 wo are non stop screaming the flat is a tip I cant even think straight through the hysteria. Doc wants to see me again wed but cant cope til then. Have no family for support and dh is away until next Friday. I am shouting and screaming at my toddler which I hate myself for. I feel desperate and alone and can't see past this hysteria. I have a friend visiting later today but not sure how to cope until 4pm . I hate myself for feeling this way and its non stop crying and screaming. I'm frightening my 2 yo and I hate how scared she looks when I shout at her. Then I collapse in tears and apologises while holding them both as we all cry.i start my day at 3am as baby wakes then and takes 2 hrs to resettle only for toddler to wake for the day at 5am. I cant cope with the NONSTOP SCREAMING!! I feel desperate and like I am losing it. Please help me.

There's lots of good advice on this thread but I feelyouvekind of got past the stage of taking it.

Please call DH and get a neighbour/your friend/mum in the interim

Oh I've been here and I promise you are not failing. Your toddler is still so little herself she is just being inquisitive. I would distract her with some food and a tv programme if you can and then concentrate on the baby. May sound a bit mad but try softly singing to the baby, I found it calmed me down as well as the baby.

Then call someone. Don't feel bad or silly - you need a friend.

OP - I phoned the number and an automated voice said they were going to transfer me to a volunteer now so I hung up. Did you get that far?

I would maybe keep trying it if I were you. Also I would say if you really can't wait to see the doctor then phone the out of hours.

Another thought - is have you checked nothing is causing baby to cry such as label from clothes or hair around the toe - nappy -

It's just once when youngest was crying non stop a hair (mine) was wrapped around his toe, I felt awful but it was the answer -

I have 23 months between my two and it is hard - thinking of you and hope a friend or family can come round - even if falling out I think mum or sis would separate this from today x

I tried calling dh but no answer he will no doubt be drunk as he is on a work jolly abroad. Mother has cut me out and made it very clear ties were cut. She wished miscarriage on me which is why we fell out . I don't know any neighbours to talk to. Just called a good friend she was lovely and helped calm me down. Baby is horrendously overtired and toddler is wanting to go to the parl but its pouring with rain.

Can't you waterproof lo up put cover on the pram and go to the park? Some rain on your skin may make you feel better. I've been known to go for walks in the rain .

Do you have any thoughts of hurting them yourself ? Is so how strong if so you need to call nhs 24 or out of hrs social care both will give you the help you need how's things now ? Stay safe thinking of you

Actually getting out may help, even in the rain.
Can you make sure you are all wearing wellies, rainproof coats etc and then let your toddler just splash in puddles?
Then hopefully the baby may sleep.
And some fresh air may do you good too.
I'm so sorry op, I've been there and it's a dark, dark lonely place x
Will the toddler play with playdoh/watch cbeebies when you get back to give you break?
Cbeebies is my lifeline! :)

I'm scared because I've been rough with my toddler - dragging her away from the baby when shes suffocating or prodding at the baby. Plus I've shouted at her all morning and made her cry which makes me ashamed.

If you feel like you can't wait call ooh dr OP.
whereabouts in london -are there any munsnettersnearby? X

Baby just won't sleep in her pram. Just cries for hours in there and people look at me like im a bad mum for not picking baby up.

If you feel you may hurt your toddler you must get help....now.
Phone NHS direct and ask them for help.
You aren't a bad mum...babies cry.

Where are you in London?

If you are up to it and the baby is still breastfeeding just sit there with it feeding then for as long as it takes. That normally stops crying. Other than that I found walking it around in a sling on my body whilst I hoovered usually got it to sleep (or a walk in the pram or buggy but you probably don't feel up to that).

I wouldn't worry about what people think about you at all.
If you've been shouting at the toddler just say less or nothing and put the baby somewhere the toddler can't hurt like in a sling attached to your body. Most of all you need some peace and rest and a break from them. I am sure every parent on mumsnet will have shouted at their small children at some time when they shouldn't have done. Don't worry about it. Just try to be calm and silent and think of things the toddler can do to keep entertained.

Where abouts in London are you OP?

How old is toddler? Can they go and play at a friends for an hour or two? Does baby need a feed now? Can you do skin to skin with a kids program on and let baby feed - toddler will calm down - does toddler still nap? Can you put toddler for a sleep?

Can you write you OH an email with your thoughts so he gets when he next checks?

There is a last minute babysitting service in London - will post name you book on line so don't have to talk to anyone?

www.likeminders.co.uk/babysitting/emergency-last-minute-childcare/

One of my best friend's just turned up and I byrst into tears hugging her for like 5 mins. Shes helping whole I get toddler down for a nap which is a massive help. Lifesaver.

Fantastic.

So glad to hear your friend arrived - fingers crossed that you managed to get a bit of a rest with a pair of helping hands around. It's really, really hard work with two little ones & pnd, & the fact that you're reached out for help tells me you are a good mum who cares about her kids - don't lose sight of that & try not to beat yourself up. I really hope things get easier for you & soon, I remember what it's like. Be kind to yourself, you're doing well, the pnd is the problem not you. Xx

hope your toddler has managed a nap OP. I know how your instincts are to protect your baby and of course you must but your toddler needs you just as much as she ever did. she's probably interested in the baby because you are understandably so busy with him/her and any kind of reaction from you will be better than none.

this is so hard because your baby needs all of you all of the time, your toddler needs the same, but if you don't get any time for yourself you are going to burn out. can your friend stay for a bit? are there any other friends or relations you can call on just for company and maybe a chat? of course this depends on your personality and relationships with people, I'm the kind to invite someone round with the intention of telling them I'm finding it hard and please can they play with/hold a child while I drink a cup of tea and in reality I make them tea, listen to their problems and end up in more of a state because I've got even less attention for my DC who already need so much!

I think the others are right you need to at least give your DH an update of how you're coping and give him the chance to help in some way even if it's to suggest someone to ask over if he can't get home. I also think you should be down at the GP surgery first thing tomorrow. I wish I was closer to London and didn't have sick children because I'd be offering to come and do whatever I could to make things better, I've been there and it really does feel like the world is ending frequently but I promise you it's not

if I have any more children I'm going to get one of those things that go under the pushchair to rock it back and forth to help baby to sleep hands free, and white noise is always good, you can download some online or get relatively cheap CDs which can help

keep us updated OP, thinking of you

Baby Rocker - Automatic Pram Buggie Push Chair Baby Rocker (pram not included) by Robopax www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B004DORTGM/ref=cm_sw_r_udp_awd_ssPwsb16ET2VR

sorry that failed miserably, search for robopax on Amazon or ebay

How are things Singsoft? I hope the day has gone better than you expected. (if not then hold on to the thought that it's another day you've managed to get through so that's a good thing too!). Keeping my fingers crossed that you manage to get some good sleep tonight & your gp is helpful tomorrow. Take care xx

Thank you all so much. Two friends visited me in the end was very lucky. Toddler napped for 2 hrs which was fantastic but baby continued to scream pretty much until 4pm. After my friend left I put baby in carrier and went to the shops with dd. Baby fell asleep and when we got home I put baby down in moses with the hairdryer app noise - miraculously slept until 7pm! I managed to cuddle toddler and do bath and bedtime in peace. I cries out of guilt for shouting at dd and repeatedly dragging her away from baby today. She was so forgiving and kind and cuddled me still after hpw horrible I was. Am now bfing baby.

Mornings always seem to be the worst - I can't cope with the smallest thing. Why is this? Is it a hormone thing or just tiredness?

Thank you all again you helped cope when I was at my lowest.