How best to prepare DC1 for arrival of DC2?

[Mena1]

I am 29 weeks pregnant with our second baby and am very worried about how DC1 (3)will react to the baby. We read books and I tell him about the baby in mummy's belly and we've put the cot up and explained that this is where baby will be sleeping and we try and talk to him and get him invovlved as much as possible. He has been extremely gentle to other new borns or babies we have met in the past and is generally a pleasant and easy going child.

The thing that worries me is that everyone i know who's on the second baby seem to be having behavioural problems with their first and every single one of them has turned into complete monsters and just down right nasty little brats. I dont want my lovely little boy turning into that!!!! It scares the hell out of me! My husband says he takes comfort in the fact that some of the parents we know are not good at disciplining their first borns (even before the second one came along) but i'm not so sure if its a discipline thing.

I dont know if I'm preparing DC1 enough. I do try and involve him as much as I can without making it all about the baby. Any advice would be appreciated. thanks

I have been there too...

Don't assume that your child will turn into a monster because "everyone" else's does. It isn't a given.

Priority is to let your DCs develop a good relationship and this is determined by DC1s feeling towards siblings. The little one will adore his/her bigger sibling no matter what.

So make sure you take care of DC1s needs first if both are crying, within reason. Comment on how the little sibling smiles at bigger one/ watches him, is lucky to have a kind brother like that etc. a positive attitude and positive expectations help! Make sure DC1 gets 1 on 1 time...

I am not saying that there will be no issues, it is a huge change for DC1 and you should expect some sleep problems, maybe tantrums etc depending on personality of DC1. Just keep an eye that they will not be between the siblings. Give DC1 a couple of months to get used to new circumstances and then tackle any issues.

It does sound like you are doing everything right! Someone once said that when the kids meet the first time, best to have the baby in a cot, not cradled in your arms, so they can get off to a good start! Good luck!