Toddler DCs driving me loopy!

[ThatsNotMyPinot]

DS is 2.8, DD 17 months and I'm a SAHM (at the moment), and I guess the main point of my post is to ask you all this:

If you're at home with your DCs, how often to you actually 'play' with them?

I do so bloody much for/with them i.e. read, do crafts, take them places, just 'play' with them, but I think it's important for them to be able to amuse themselves and 'play' by themselves too.

I am sat here about to lose my rag, as all fucking afternoon, all they have done is whinge, fight, and cling to my leg. All I want is to have half an hour to do a few chores, and to sit, relax, and have a cuppa whilst browsing MN Is this too much to ask?! I'm not sure if i'm being completely unrealistic?

It's got to the point where I can't wait for them to go to bed- I wish I was one of those people who were happy for their children to stay up in the evening because they are happy to have them around. They are fabulous little people, but I'm finding that they're sucking the life out of me at the moment. I'm trying to be patient, as DS is just settling into nursery 2 mornings a week, so is quite tired (has recently dropped nap) and finding it a bit tough, but tbh it's been like this for a while.

DH is really hands on when here, and I feel quite pathetic typing all this as I get plenty of breaks too, but with autumn setting in and weather turning bad, I'm starting to dread having to amuse them ALL THE TIME.

What do other parents of toddlers do? Slowly losing the will to live!

Oh, I meant to say, I wonder if i've almost done too much for/with them? Fed up of feeling fucking guilty all the time for doing too much/not enough - is there a perfect balance?

You've described my days too! Ivhave ds, 2.6, and dd, 12 mo. They are very full-on, never really stop apart from when dd has her naps. We are watching more and more tv and due to the weather and lack of money we don't go out very much any more. I'm sad to say that I look forward to Mondays when I'm available for work, though the supply teaching hasn't really picked up yet for me so haven't had much work...
I've no advice, just wanted to let you know that I'm in the same boat, you're not alone!
Mine are getting better at playing alone, as I mostly leave them to it, just sit on the floor near them, talk to them, but generally let them play with their toys. They're fine with this. I think nursery has helped with this, since the adults there can't possibly play with/interact with all the kids all the time!

I try to avoid the guilty feeling. My mum was always at work, we were shipped off to my nan's every day, we were just allowed to play with the toys and watch tv, interacted and played with each other (11 of us altogether). I'm ok: university educated, I can talk, have a happy relationship etc etc.
That's my justification for it, anyway . I think as long as we talk to and play with them a few times during the day, and read with them and talk about what's on tv, they're going to be fine. I let nursery do all the messy painting and arty stuff, I do the clean and easily-tidied-away-stuff!

Mmm yes you are a bit. Give it a few months and you'll get a bit of a break but theyre too young to be able to play together, resolve disputes etc.

Why not stick the tv on if you want 30 mins?

mumofboyo - Thanks you, it's good (sorry!) to know that i'm not alone. I do try and remind myself that whilst my Mum tooks me to lots of sports clubs, and we had the odd 'girly' day, she basically left me to get on with it (I didn't have any siblings close in age to me to play with), and I was (and still am), fine. I think I looked back and wished that she would play with me sometimes, so this has perhaps made me over-compensate sometimes.

Creatureretorts - You're right, had time to put things into perspective now they're in bed. I probably do expect too much. It's weird, as even though i'm an outgoing person and love spending time with people, I just crave peace and quiet at times, and find two clingy toddlers quite claustrophobic, which I know isn't their fault. Re the TV, I do put it on sometimes during the day, but as a last resort, as they have cbeebies on first thing in the morning, the bedtime hour at night, and DS normally watches a DVD for an hour or so as 'down time' to replace his old nap. So don't really want too much more in a day, as I find they're more badly behaved. However, today was a day when I just should've stuck it on, enjoyed the break, and be done with it!

Hard work this parenting lark innit?!

Yes it is! I've got a 4 and nearly 2 year old - I can't leave them to it for too long but I figure that soon they'll be at school/preschool so should try and enjoy it while they're around however those thoughts never come to me when I've had enough!

I have 3. Age gaps are bit bigger, 2.5 years between each. The toddler baby bit is shit. No other words to describe.

My 6 year old DS is a dream. Apart from the fact he is at school most of the day he can entertain himself for hours in his room. Hold a conversation. Help with his baby brother (entertaining him) and generally is nice to be around (apart from when he is fighting with his 3 year old sister)! Go back a few years when it was just the two of them and before school I could have happily stuck my head in the oven on several days, or theirs!

Im now at home with DD age3 and DS age1 - arggghhhh, why didn't I remember what it is like. Ground hog day! It's a case of surviving.

You get those odd beautiful moments don't you and the rest is about trying to survive until bedtime im afraid.

The friends who tell you that they LIKE having them up past bedtime are big fat liars!! They just never mastered a bed time routine .

The good news is that although it feels like it will never end - it does. Then you look back and think, oh, it was actually over quite quickly. Then you forget - then you get pregnant again - back to banging head on wall.

One day you will get there and it will all be worth it and try not to feel guilty (easily said). People who say enjoy every moment are delusional!

Just to reiterate what others have said: they're at really demanding ages, everyone looks forward to bed time and some peace & quiet, and it will get better. Don't feel guilty. Toddlers are bloody hard work & you are so not alone in the way that you feel!

My DS is only 10mo but I already find myself longing for his bedtime some days...! He is a really spirited baby and is absolutely exhausting looking after him all day, so you have my massive admiration looking after 2. I think just surviving the day is key!! Don't let the mummy guilt get you. If your children are warm, clean, well fed, cuddled a bit every day and played with a bit every day, it won't do them any harm to watch telly for a bit if you're close to losing your rag with them.

My little brother watched 3 hours of Pokemon every day as a toddler and he is now a very well adjusted, intelligent, funny, clever professional engineer with lots of friends. I am not advocating hours of crappy Japanese cartoons as a parenting choice but on rainy afternoons when DS ends up crawling around with CeeBeebies on I cling to it!!