Secret diaries

[hillbilly]

My 8yo DD has a secret diary with a little padlock and key. I have never thought to look in it as it's heres and I'm pretty sure at 8 she does not have anything written in it that would be a cause for concern. My friend's DD also has a similar one but has had to promise that her mum can look at it.

Am I just to liberal?

hers*

Not at all. I will never forget the day when . Found my mum reading my diary. I think I was about 10. It always stayed with me. My dad on the other hand would never have read my diary and I trusted him implicitly.

We are not duty bound to know everything in our DC lives. Trust between parents and children is far more important. I feel sad for your friend's DD. Sounds as though the Mum has some trust issues going on, particularly as her DD is only 8. What will she be like when she's a teenager?

Think you are doing the best for your daughter by letting her have her own private stuff.

What's the point in having a secret diary if your mum's allowed to read it? I think it's good that your daughter knows that you respect her privacy, I think it actually builds up trust in a relationship.

I agree - I would never read my child's diary, I'd consider it a total invasion of privacy, just as I'd be horrified if she ever read mine.

Thanks guys. I did kinda go when friend told me about her conditions. DD has recently started to enjoy quiet time on her own in her bedroom and I say good for her.

I think it's important to let DD keep her own private diary and as she gets older to have her trust you enough to share things with.

Without any need for snooping I cottoned on about my DCs' moods, habits and pastimes by listening to their choice of music, emptying their rubbish bins and doing their laundry during their time at home.

I think it's awful to read a diary. Reading inboxes on Facebook/twitter is entirely different though

No, a paper diary is totally private and completely up to her who she shares it with. I will not read my DDs' diaries (if they ever have them) though I would be tempted! (spent my teenage years fighting the impulse to read my sister's - I didn't but I really really wanted to!).

Anything electronic is a completely different matter, of course.

I think if something's clearly worrying your child and they aren't spilling it may be ok to snoop. Other than that no.