Since arrival of ds, dd is irritating me - is this normal?

[Mandymoo]

Had ds 8 weeks ago. DD 3.6yrs. Ever since arrival of ds, dd has been sooooooo annoying me and i feel soooooo guilty for feeling this way.

I get annoyed when she's clumsy and knocks things over - she's 3 fgs!

I get annoyed when she speaks in a babyish voice

I get annoyed when she keeps asking the same questions over and over

And then i get annoyed when she wont give me a cuddle!!

She is such a good girl and i know my patience and energy are focussed on ds atm but i really dont want dd to lose out as a result iyswim.

Is this normal or am i a total misery of a mum?!

Hi,dont worry i was exactly the same believe me it will wear off,i think it is to do with being so overwhelmed and focused on the new baby!
Maybe have an hour or two of girl time with her eg trip to the park or something?

Waswondering - i know what you mean! DD seems about 10 years older to me now!

I get mad with myself for being like this and try really hard to focus on her. I took her to a playbarn last week and bought my mum along to have ds so i could focus on dd. It was fine for a bit but then she started moaning and complaining and i just felt like she'd thrown it back in my face. I know that sounds silly, she's only 3 after all, but its just how i felt.

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try to get some more time alone w/her. this worked wonders for me. so did a kick up the backside from my mum . when she said, 'poor thing, she's just a little girl trying to make sense of it all.'

I'm 10 weeks ahead of you, and we are through it and out the other side more now.

Who does bedtime at the moment? DH had been taking over that when DS was born, but I found that if I got DS settled either in his crib, or with DH, and then did bedtime as full, undivided attention with DD, I started to see her as my sweet loving little lady again, rather than the annoying demon child.

Part of it was down to her acting up because of DS, part of it was down to my coping with her, and the bedtimes seem to have helped both of us come together a bit more.

It does pass, and seeing as you have several replies saying similar - it is normal.

You'll suddenly get one day in a couple of weeks when you will see her do something, and you'll suddenly see your sweet little girl that you used to have.

FloatingOnTheMed: Oh I'm sure there's other stuff that works too, but that's what helped me

It wasn't/isn't easy - especially when you're knackered and short-tempered. To a certain extent, I had to physically make the decision that morning of how I was going to act regardless of how I felt, and remind myself regularly through the day.

Still had lots of slip ups, mind, where I'd mentally shout at myself "for god's sake woman, the kid only wanted a bit of attention with you, why did you have to snap at him like that?! He's only 3!" But it gradually got better and easier with practise.

Deep breath
I found it very hard with DS1 when DS2 was born (DS1 was 19 months). He seemed huge and blundering and clumsy and demanding and loud and all I wanted to do was gaze adoringly at DS2 and lie on the sofa with DS2 asleep in my arms. Of course I didn't do that I did my best to involve DS1 and give him loads of attention but by gum it was hard work.....
I know exactly how you feel. And it does get better and easier. And DS1 is none the worse for it and we are now back to normal (DS2 is 10m now) but I have to say it took a while...
And yes I beat myself up about it ... mummy guilt is there anything like it!!!