Are workaholic dads selfish parents?

[bacon]

Lets face it he'd rather work than do any household chores and for relaxation its off doing what he enjoys - running and bikes!

I totally understand the stress and effort that goes into running our construction business (and another business) and its a tough ride but he far from the dotting dad.

As far as I can see I cant change him, I've talked and talked, but he doesn't see it/refuses to accept it.

Apart from leaving him (bit extreme) where can I go to make him put more effort into bringing up the children?

Make arrangements of your own and go out maybe? It will force his hand if you are not there.

You have pretty much just described my household, however i took myself and my son out for the day on sunday with no warning after my partner had decided to spend the day shopping with his mother rather than looking after our 3 month old son so after a morning of crying and not even having a minute spare to brush my hair i left the house and went on the train to a near by city, he came back to an empty house and was most upset!

I came back later that evening and he had baked a very sorry looking loaf of bread, was ironing socks (has honestly never ironed or baked a thing in his life previous to this) and helped with the bedtime routine. Moral of the story a shock to the system works wonders! (the bread was crap but i felt guilty so i ate it)

I hope this gets sorted for you, sometimes it takes something dramatic to sort your partner out and even then it goes back to normal soon after, its exhausting feeling like you arent being listened to but as long as there are good times that make it bearable then that makes it easier. My partners hobbies are photography and skateboarding and when he would rather spend his spare time doing these than seeing our son i just tell myself its his loss. Thats all i can do.

Good luck x

I think you'd get some interesting answers if you were to repost in relationships.

There are some very wie people lurking on there who will be able to offer someceryuseful advice and insight.

Mine and DP's philosophy is that we both have equal time 'off' i.e. time not working in paid employment/looking after the kids/doing housework. Tot up how much time you each get off a week. If he is getting lots more than you, show this to him, if he has a heart this should make him think. If he still doesn't see a problem, then IMHO he is not just being thoughtless, he is being selfish and uncaring and I personally would question the relationship.

My BIL spends hours a day on his hobbies while my sister runs herself ragged with the kids on her own. It breaks my heart. I hope you find a solution.

at ironing socks and baking bread!

What hobbies do you do?