Will switching to bottle feeding make routines easier to follow? Don't know what to do....

[heebeegeebees2]

I've been breastfeeding dd2 for 3 months now (she's 12 weeks on Friday) and I have no physical problems with it at all (good supply, no pain etc..) and breastfed dd1 (now 5.5) for 11 months with one bottle of formula at 11pm until 6 months old.
However, I'm feeling really exhausted from it and finding it more demanding this time around with another one to look after and household to run. I've also been trying to do the E.A.S.Y routine (and bit of Gina Ford?) which was going OK but now has gone totally wrong and I'm finding it so frustrating because I don't know how much milk dd2 is getting so I can't work out whether she needs more to eat in the day to help her sleep more at night. It feels like total guesswork and sometimes she'll only go 1.5-2hrs between feeds and not the 3 hours recommended (which should be heading more towards 4!). We do a dream feed (formula) at 11pm but sometimes she only takes 2-3oz and then wakes again at around 3am. She had then been sleeping until about 6.30am but today woke up at 5.30am and I felt that she was hungry so fed her again having already fed her at 3am! I really can't face going back to 2 night wakings having gone down to just one for many weeks now. Could this just be a growth spurt?

I'm just finding it all really hard at the moment and I'm started to feel rather depressed. I suffered PND with dd1 and took anti-depressants. I haven't had the PND this time and so haven't been on medication (which I'm pleased about) and I'm wondering if my life would be easier bottlle feeding so that I can get my body back and feel a bit more in control?

I really don't know what to do and worried I'll feel guilty if I give up now....maybe I could just introduce a few more bottles and do mixed feeding?

Any thoughts greatly appreciated....

Hi, I'm only a first time mum but think mums should always do what is best for their health (physical and psychological). My baby did feed v erratically for first few months and then settled down but breast feeding often doesn't fit in with routines. Whatever you do please don't feel guilty. There is no 'one' right way - just the way the works for you and your family x

I think you should do what is best for your health - if you want to stop bf then do, you need to look after yourself.

The only personal experience I can offer is that my son was having more than 2 night feeds well past 3 months - so i think thats a normal thing and might not change with bottles - particularly during the 4 month regression - although he was bf which as you say made it hard to know what he was taking.

Hi, I've no experience of bf, both mine were formula fed from very early (ds from 6 weeks, dd from 2 days).
I'm only writing to say that babies, irrelevant of how they're fed as far as I know, will feed when they're hungry rather than according to some set timetable as prescribed in some books. And all children are different.

Ds quite quickly fell into a routine of feeding every 3 hrs during the day and then sleeping right through the night. He was easy, I thought that I had this parenting lark spot on.

Then I had dd. She took ages to fall into a routine/rhythm. I think it was about 4 months when she started to follow ds' pattern. Until then, she fed whenever, it was totally unpredictable and the amount of milk that was wasted was unbelievable!

I'd suggest that you do what you can to make it easier for yourself and your family, if that means giving up bf, or mix feeding then so be it. But please beware that by ff your baby won't necessarily magically fall into a perfect, predictable routine. And even if she does become more settled, there will be days/phases when she'll want more or less milk than normal due to growth and development spurts etc.

Hope I've made sense!

I think the honest answer is no one will know how your baby would react to mixed feeding, sorry.

I am mixed feeding my nearly 4 month DTs with a bottle at 5:30pm and every other day at lunchtime and the baby who gets the lunchtime bottle does tend to sleep for longer (not always). However, DTD always sleeps and settles better than DTS whatever I do.

I also have a good friend with a ff DS who has terrible sleep and routine issues so I don't think you can make an assumption.

I'm saying this as I think it would be a shame to threaten your supply if it doesn't work given benefits and minimal effort involved (vs bottles) once established. And it will be solids in a few months which, in my experience, can help routines and sleep.

That said, however, the last post is absolutely correct - most important is to make sure you're ok. Nothing wrong with going to the GP for antidepressants, nothing wrong with mixed or formula feeding.

I wonder if you should ask to move this into the breast and bottle feeding topic. There are some excellent posters in there and lots of traffic.

Not that the above posts aren't helpful ... You know what I mean!

From 14 weeks I BF DS on a schedule and followed EASY. It can be done without top ups if that's what you want. But if you do want to stop BF then just stop.

I think you're looking for a magic sleep solution that doesn't exist I'm afraid.

It's been shown that FF babies don't actually sleep any better.

Yes it could be a growth spurt, there is one due. But I think it's important to remember that actually a couple or more night wakings is normal at this stage. Dc2 is 5m and still wakes 3/4 times a night to feed, which is better than her brother was!

If you're not coping then talk to your HV or gp ASAP. Hope you get some help soon.

thanks everyone, really useful advice...I'm very up and down and think I might just be having a bad few days and feeling frustrated. In my heart of hearts I don't really want to give up and I suppose I am looking for a way to get her sleeping through quicker which a bottle won't guarantee I know....Despite the PND with dd1, she followed the routines better and slept through fairly quickly so maybe my expectations are too high. She is a totally different baby, more challenging but just as lovely of course .

I just HATE sleep deprivation - I know everybody does but I get pretty disturbed when I can't get the sleep I need and it's a trigger for my bipolar 2 condition. I have to be really careful. I think I'm going to try to sleep in the day when she does and just persevere until at least 6 months by which time I hope things will settle down and be less erratic, especially as she'll be going onto solids then.

I'm seeing my HV tomorrow so I'll chat to her. I don't feel like I need to go back on the meds and it was such hard work coming off them all that I really don't want to go back on them again. I think the problem may be more that I'm wanting to get the routines 'right' and getting frustrated by that. Changing to bottle feeding probably isn't the answer.....

Oh and thanks AnythingNotEverything for the tip about the breastfeeding topic, I didn't realise there was one so I've posted on there too x

I think really this is the time your dp should step in and do more with the older child,giving you more time with baby.Can bedtime routines become his job.Get him to get up weekends and bring other kids out.So you have time to rest and bond with baby.
My dp did this.I had my last baby through cs and he lost a lot of weight.So i gave him the odd bottle in hospital.When i got home and realised the amount of time bottles took,i couldnt be bothered to do it.It wont make your life easier,could make it harder.Colic springs to mind.

And its perfectly normal to be pissed off night after night feeding i felt like that some days.Just do day to day

I'm in the same position with my 4mo, and I've recently started doing his last 3 feeds (4pm, 7pm and 11.30pm) as formula. This means he now only wakes up once between 4-5am which makes a huge difference.
I am going to start adding an extra bottle of formula every week, working backwards from 4pm, in the hope that he will get into more of a routine. Also would be amazing if he started to sleep through for longer, although I'm not complaining with just one feed in the night.