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WANTED! Some retorts for my DTDs (yr3) with very hairy legs!

13 replies

QuickSqueezeCoolBreeze · 07/10/2013 21:35

As subject line really.
My DTDs do have very hairy legs and they seem to be more and more aware that they are the most hairy in their class. Both have asked me if they could shave their legs Sad
One DD is less self concious of her legs than the other and seems to handle any curiosity from fellow classmates with a 'I'm a hairy monster' However, my other DD was very upset when a boy in her class asked her why she had hairy legs and so I'm posting here to ask if any of you witty MNers can give her some confidence in her self and her lovely legs...

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minipie · 08/10/2013 15:01

Honestly, I'd let them shave their legs if they want to.

Don't get me wrong - I abhor the fact that women are expected to be hair free and will quite frequently not bother to shave my own legs etc and sod anyone who judges me.

But, that's my own decision about my own body, with my adult confidence and understanding of where the whole hair free thing has come from. I wouldn't impose that on a self conscious teen or pre teen who just desperately wants to fit in. I'd explain to them how crazy the whole thing is, but if they still want to shave after that, I'd buy them a razor/depilating cream.

I did try to think of some good retorts but I couldn't come up with any retort that a teenager/pre teen would really " ... "Saves on tights" or "Welcome to the patriarchy" might be a bit too sophisticated Grin

minipie · 08/10/2013 15:01

would really get

BrianTheMole · 08/10/2013 15:03

I'd let her shave them I think, if its what she wants to do.

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Llareggub · 08/10/2013 15:07

Gosh, in year 3? My DS is in yr 2 but October born. He is also very hairy but I would be very surprised and cross with him if he teased a classmate about it. How depressing.

EdithWeston · 08/10/2013 15:09

All I can think if is talking to them about how everyone is different, and growth patterns, hair thickness and colour are just genetic quirk. If the enquiry was genuine curiosity, that should suffice.

But as it might not be straightforward, perhaps you could also try explaining that people can decide what to do with their hair, whether it's on their head or on their body, and that those decisions are essentially fashion choices. As are things like ear-piercing, or tattoos, or make up, or choice of clothes.

And that being rude about appearances is a sign of poor manners (and/or judgement) by the speaker. If someone is repetitively rude, then they should tell you or a teacher and you'll work out what to do for the best.

minipie · 08/10/2013 20:49

Sorry I have just seen from your thread title that they are year 3. So age 7 to 8! I was assuming age 12/13.

I take it back, no I wouldn't be letting a 7/8 year old shave their legs (not safe apart from anything else).

I think the best answer is something like "I've got hairy legs because my hair grows really well". ideally followed by a comment about the questioner's appearance, eg "Why have you got such big ears" (though that is a bit mean, ideally something neutral might be better)

NickECave · 11/10/2013 18:27

My 6 year old DD is in year 2 and has really hairy legs. She has commented herself a few times about how hairy they are but doesn't seem distressed and as far as I know hasn't been teased. I certainly wouldn't be happy for her to start shaving so young and would speak to the school if I thought she was being teased.

MultipleMama · 13/10/2013 15:17

I had really hairy legs as a child and I'm dark haired too so they really stood out. I only started waxing 'til year 7 due to pulling.

I wouldn't let them shave too young to be messing with blades even in a razor with you there, IMO, but I'd let them use a organic hair removal cream like Acorelle. More pleasant on young skin.

Cerisier · 13/10/2013 15:23

Does the school uniform include trousers? I would put them in tights or trousers if possible.

I think not letting them avoid the comments is unkind. I agree with Multiple that a hair removal cream would be the safest and least painful way to remove the hair. It would need to be used under supervision.

ILoveAFullFridge · 13/10/2013 15:28

Talk to their teacher. She should have a couple if PSHE sessions on manners, not making personal remarks, people looking different that difference being accepted without comment. All without any reference to your dds.

Boost your dd's confidence in her appearance by not being afraid to mention her hairy legs, and by accepting them as a part of her. Don't treat it as a problem to be resolved. Let her lead any discussion about hair-removal.

As for come-backs, I've struggled with them, too. "Because I do." seems to work for us. Not showing any emotion or interest and moving on to something else seems to be the most effective strategy. Eventually kids get bored.

(Mum of a very hairy 10yo dd, whom I call - in private - "furry kitten", and whose 'fur' I stroke and treat with as much love as the rest of her, and who asked about different methods of hair removal for the first time last weekend.)

mummabear1 · 25/10/2013 20:39

I let my 8yo DD shave hers with an intuition shaver. She is very very hairy, swims a lot and was embarrassed. I couldnt see the point in making her suffer through the stares and comments until she was "of age" to shave. She has had absolutely no cuts or injuries and is fully capable of doing her own legs to just over the knee. She accepts herself and that she is hairier than most girls but that does not mean she has to remain that way if it makes her unhappy.

Her arms are also hairy and get comments too but she is ok with this. Shaving her legs has given her back the confidence she was starting to lose from the negative comments other kids made.

Lightupatnightpants · 25/10/2013 20:48

I would let them shave them too, if they want to.

MrsWolowitz · 25/10/2013 20:52

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