Kids just don't listen to me!

[OhWhatNoooow]

I am just so fed up of repeating myself all the time! I know having 5 DC is not easy, but surely I can expect them to listen to me most of the time. What do you o when your kids dont listen to what you've asked them to do? There must be another way for me!
And I hate feeling like I am constantly telling them to do stuff, but thats what it becomes because the just dont do it the first time! Do your homework, go upstairs for bed, pick up those toys etc... And I say it in a nice way, not just commanding. gggggrrrrr!!

Perhaps it would be an idea to try this book

Thanks, I do have it, perhaps I will give i another read. Anyone have the same issue or tips?

I only have 2 so I'm not sure I'm 'qualified' to comment but I'm finding asking once nicely, asking once firmly, then consequence is working for DS who is 2.8. I'm not saying he always does (or stops doing) what I want him to do, but I think he's learning that I mean what I say and (probably more importantly) I'm not repeating myself which is usually the thing that sends me potty

the book above is good and so is 'calmer, happier, easier parenting' -some stuff in there about only asking twice

I suppose it makes sense really that if you've got into a habit of repeating yourself your DC know they don't have to do something the first time you ask because they know you'll ask again

I have that book too and I've read it but the problem is, my children just want to push back the boundaries and to keep pushing and keep challenging and they always want more,more more.

I don't mean to offend but I think some people have more text book personality-types (as labelled by gina ford) and those children do genuinely need strong boundaries, discipline, punishments, consequences etc... My children have such a sense of entitlement. They are outraged when I punish them.

The Carolyn Webster-Stratton book is better, but still, it's not a magic wand, because your children's strong personalities will still be exactly the same as they were before you read the book!

Not sure if this is really helpful, but it does work sometimes for me. I get down so that we are face to face (this is with teenager lying on sofa looking at I-pod) and whisper quietly the instruction in a pleasant voice. It works 9 times out of 10 - when I remember to do it! This also works with 8 year old in the morning on instructing to get dressed for example.

Might be worth a go.

I haven't actually read the book I suggested, it just seemed the right title and no one else had replied!

Agree that making eye contact helps, but no cure. The bottom line is OP is outnumbered (I know the feeling!).

Yes, I think that is key. I am outnumbered too as I'm a single parent.

I think a lot of books and other parents assume that if you are consistent your children will eventually capitulate and accept your authority. {hollow sad laughter}

Every negotiation I make with my children they attempt to flip it around. Eg, can I have a biscuit. "yes, when you're in your pyjamas!". kids: "I'll get in to my pyjamas after you give me a biscuit". Me: no. {no more discussion} while they whine on at me for a bit.

My kids never stop trying to take control of the reins. Maybe because there is one of me and two of them. I don't know. But they books and other parents who aren't outnumbered by their children assume that children like / respect authority and discipline and will eventually stop pushing back and I don't find that that is the case. I am strict. I mean what I say. I don't back down. I'm fair. I have some rules. I don't say yes until I'm certain I mean yes, and if I say no I mean no. My children must surely know all of this and yet they never stop trying to topple that status quo . I wonder if it is because they outnumber me an they have a shared agenda ..... hmm

And then you have personality; I can dominate some of mine merely with personality (words & nicely asking) & others push push push and are immune to niceties or bullying or any threats. Arrgggghhh...

Pushing boundaries & trying to be dominant is probably hardwired into humans. Especially in teen yrs.