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Any tips on how to STOP Breastfeeding a 2year old in the night!

3 replies

madmacbrock · 06/10/2013 21:08

The main reason for wanting to stop is I am 8 weeks pregnant and the pain in my nipples is almost unbearable.
I never set out to feed for so long but ds was always a good little feeder, and it really helps comfort him and it never caused me any issues so i decided to just let nature take its course and let him stop when he was ready, however since becoming pregnant i think i would experience less pain if he set at them with a knife and fork!
It is quite easy for me to distract him in the day and he wont really miss it unless he gets really upset about something or is unwell and He eats well (as well as toddlers eat anyway) though i would like him to drink more than he does. The issues is a night time. he has never been a good sleeper and i have found myself quite dependent on night feeds to settle him again. Gennerally when i put him down he has a feed then gets into bed and has a cuddle and goes to sleep but he always wakes at least twice in the night (at the min hes up almost every hour as he has cold) and those awakings are only ever settled with a feed.
I am reluctant to go cold turkey, as I am likley to feel guilty and give up, also dont want to risk mastitus or anything like that. If i can cut out the night feeds i can grin and bear the rest until he does decide to give up.
Through lack of sleep and horrible pain I really could do with any advice from anyone who might have gone through something similar

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threechildren · 07/10/2013 13:44

Last October I (finally!) stopped breastfeeding my youngest, he was 2 and a half.

When you are breastfeeding a 2 year old, so much of it is about love - not nutrition. And I think that is wonderful and a real gift to your child.

Whatever you do, I think it is important not to withdraw your love from him/her when you stop breastfeeding (for me the night feeding was always the last - my children stopped breastfeeding in the day very easily but the night feeding continued because it is such an easy way to settle them).

I think that you have very good reasons to stop breastfeeding your 2 year old, and you should not feel guilty or hesitant. I stopped breastfeeding my son last year because my mother insisted, and she rang me daily about it until I had actually stopped. After my mother nagging me for a few days, I made the decision to stop breastfeeding and I was resolute in this. I was resolute because I knew that my mother would ring and question me in the morning.

I think it is important to be resolute because if you change your mind it is so confusing for the child.

I did not announce to my son that he would no longer be breastfed. I think that to do that is a bit cruel and will cause a lot of upset, and is unnecessary.

Because my son was 2 and a half, I merely invented "sore nipples" - which you actually do have. (I did not have any pain).
I told him that my nipples (this is what we have taught the children to call their breasts) were sore and he had to not have a drink from them. I did not say that he would never drink from them again, but just that he had to not have a drink from my sore nipples.
He asked me why my nipples were sore and I said that I had bumped them.

So I explained the "sore nipples" to him just before his bed time. And instead of having a breastfeed, he actually kissed my arm and the skin under my neck and eventually fell asleep. I can't stand children crying when they go to sleep, so I stayed there and cuddled him until he was asleep.
He of course did wake up for a feed, and even came into bed with me, and I had ready a drink of water from a sippy cup and repeated that my "nipples were sore". Make sure that you are wearing clothes that cover you up.

I repeated that for a week or so, and then he never asked again.

I recommend the above for how to stop night feeding gently. It is a contrast to how I weaned my daughter - my middle child. With her, I stopped night feeding just before she was 2. I was heavily pregnant and we had just moved house. I did it without thinking - I became suddenly fed up, and told her that there would be no more waking me up for milk in the night. I remember marching her into the kitchen in the middle of the night and giving her some cows milk from the fridge, which she refused. And that was it.
She still woke up quite a bit in the night but (with hindsight) that was about toilet training, not breastfeeding.

Sorry this post is so long. I hope it helps.

Mufus · 07/10/2013 15:54

Previous message sounds about right, your little one doesn't need to be breast fed any longer but is using feeding for relaxation for sleeping. Explain gently that there is no more feeding and offer something instead like stroking their hair, they just need to learn some new settling cues and soon you should be able to promote a cuddly or something similar to take over from you and they can begin to learn to settle themselves when they wake in the night. You need a good nights sleep as much as they do so calm, kind but most of all consistent should help. Don't expect them to like it at first as its a big change for them but my lot were more adaptable than I gave them credit for.

madmacbrock · 08/10/2013 20:40

thank you, its nice of you to take the time to reply and to hear someone who doesnt say 'just stop!' I will follow your advice and hopefully things will soon resolve themselves

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