One DC being harder work than the others.

[Sparklyvodka]

Does anybody else have this?

I love all 5 of my DC but DC3 is hard work.
She's been away for the past week and there's not been one argument between the other 4. I've been able to sit down a lot more as I've not had to referee any arguments or sort out any bad behaviour.
Life just seems calmer when she's not here.
She has many, many good points and I love her dearly but she's just such hard work.

Our family is very similar - and many years later my brother is the same, out of our family of 5. It's not always down to the parent - my parents put masses of work into him, to the point that it was really hard for the rest of us, even now half the time my conversations with mum end up with her recounting his latest exploits or their new concern.

In our case I actually think the opposite would have helped than in gluezilla's family - he took so much air from every room that the rest of us all suffered a bit in comparison, and he never got truly used to being part of the gang instead of the centre of attention. Meanwhile my middle sister ended up going very quietly off the rails with our parents not noticing until things got really bad.

How does she see her role? How about her siblings? Does she have additional needs, or even just a more of a need for reassurance than others? Perhaps there are ways that she could get this outside the group setting?

I think that's life OP, it's not just her, but the combination of her personality with yours and her siblings'. How old is she?

I would second Gluezilla in urging you not to let it spill over into the way you treat her. I would also add, it's probably harder for her to be this way than it is for you. And she didn't ask to be born into a big family, which can be wonderful, but hard. I notice she's the very middle child? Let empathy be your watchword. And have some time alone with her on a regular basis, something you will both enjoy.

Never ever let her know you feel that way. My mum made sure I knew I was hard work and my brother was the perfect son. It took me a long time to feel worth anything in life, and to realise that she was the one with the problem.

I agree with rootypig.
If you have a large family the odds of having one who doesn't conveniently 'fit in' are higher.
I was having an argument on another thread with those who think that they have family life solved with 'autonomous' living are just lucky that they have easy going, reasonably children. It has only a little to do with parenting and a lot to do with personality.
Many parents have a first child and find it so easy that they pat themselves on the back as wonderful parents and then they get the second child who only has to see a boundary to test it and isn't a people pleaser.
You need to stay positive, if you see her in a negative light it will be a downward spiral.