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Parenting

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Original poster

How do I help my DD make friends?

6 replies

fluffacloud · 05/10/2013 21:06

My DD (3.9) has just broken my heart when she said that she doesn't have any friends. She said that the children at nursery just don't seem to like her.

What can I do to help her? She lacks confidence generally and seems to be a bit 'socially awkward'- if you can say that about a toddler?!

We don't have any friends or family with children of a similar age, so she's only ever mixed at nursery (2 days a week since she was 9 months). Even if we are somewhere with children of a similar age, she always gravitates to adults asking to help and wanting to emulate grown up conversations and activities.

We are fairly strict at home and I feel like maybe we've not allowed her to behave like a child - I'm talking about manners and responsabilty for her actions, not treating her like a toddler version of Cinderella...

Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

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steth · 05/10/2013 21:30

Oh your poor dd. we have a dd who is 3.5 and we had the same problem. She cried in the park one day saying she had no friends. I almost burst into tears.

She tends to like playing with older kids but they're not too interested in her as she's younger possibly. I watch how she interacts with children and she can be shy and a bit of a wallflower, yet she is confident at home.

I've started asking her to ask kids if she can play with them and bring a toy (skipping rope, kite, chalk) that she can use as an icebreaker (bribe ;-) ). If she's too shy then I hold her hand and ask the kids if she can join in. It seems to be working and now she has a few little friends that she plays with.

Give your dd lots of cuddles which I'm sure you already do and reassure her that she the most special person in the world and that you will always be her best friend

CreatureRetorts · 05/10/2013 22:20

Speak to nursery as they might have some insights. How long has she been there?

WhiteandGreen · 05/10/2013 23:05

I know just how you feel, and it's difficult because when you try interfering then things don't always of to plan. I would second speaking to the nursery.

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Original poster

fluffacloud · 06/10/2013 08:52

Thank you all.

I'll speak to nursery and see what they suggest. I'm also going to enroll her in a club of some sort, gymnastics or dance.

My DM suggested approaching other mums about 'play dates' - the idea fills me with dread but I'll give it a go, it appears that I too, lack confidence

OP posts:

Jaynebxl · 06/10/2013 09:00

I would definitely recommend play dates. Ask her who she would like to play with, check if the mum seems approachable and then ask them round. You could even ask her key worker for a coupke of suggestions of children who she seems to like who have nice mums! Then just get some nice biscuits in and stick the kettle on.

BarberryRicePud · 06/10/2013 20:20

Definitely talk to nursery. DS said the same - no friends, no one plays with me (after move from nursery to preschool). Spoke to preschool - he actually plays with loads of kids and is v sociable! Now I've learned some names I ask him specifically about individuals and sure enough he has been playing with them. So there may not actually be a problem at all.

Before he went to preschool we did some role play type stuff of how you get someone to play with you. Sounds OTT but was just me explaining how to go up to someone and say "my name is minibarberry, do you want to play?"

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