Could I ask please: What time does your toddler WAKE up?

[nickelbabe]

that's not the whole question, though, sorry!

What time does your toddler wake up, what time does s/he go to bed?
What is your bedtime routine?

I would be particularly interested in views and advice from extended breastfeeders, co-sleepers and parents of ECZEMA toddlers.

TIA

(DD currently goes to sleep on a feed at about 9, wakes up at about 9, after being transferred into our bed at 10:30ish, and wakes two or three times in the night for a feed.
she very rarely goes to sleep by her own merit - she cries herself to sleep on Thursdays when DH is in charge, and has fallen asleep on me twice in her whole life without boob. She will not sit/lie still for a bedtime story, because she is surrounded by books all day, so doesn't see them as relaxing. We can't bathe her because she screams blue murder at the feel of water (to the extent that she now screams when she sees us attempting to run a bath for her) because it hurts her skin.
i think that's all my relevant information)
thank you :)

How old is she?

DS is 2 but since about 5 months he has gone to bed at 7pm and sleeps til 5-6. Currently waking about 6.15 everyday.

He has recently started to get scared of Everything so wakes once for some reassurance at about 11pm.

I bf until 13 months and never co slept though

Ds is 22 months... Sleeps at 9pm.... Will wake several times at night for boob and then up like a lark at 5-6am... I'm freaking exhausted!

DS2 is 2.4. He goes to bed at 7.30 and wakes up at 7am (yes, I know I'm lucky - his brother was an early waker at the same age). I've BF him all his life, but I'm now in the final stages of stopping. He'd keep going, but I feel now is a good time to stop and I really want my boobs back!

Bedtime routine:
6.45-7 bath
7-7.15 stories
7.15-7.30 lights out and sing some nursery rhymes
7.30 I say goodnight and leave the room (they have a nightlight)

My 2. 3 year old
Bed 7:30-8:30
Wakes up at 7:00-8:00

Doesn't normally wake through the night as a rule.

None of the extended bf or eczema though

Dd is 23 months

5.30pm - dinner
6.30pm - bath and teeth brushed
7pm - lullaby, massage, sleepsuit, story
7.15-7.30pm - bed

Wakes at 5pm no matter what time she goes to bed, or how little or much she naps. Tried everything.

she's 21 months (will be 22 months next Saturday) :)

thank you for your replies.
I don't mind co-sleeping or feeding her to sleep, but I was wondering about routines that involved child going to sleep and then sleeping in the bed (whether their own or the parents') until the parents go up to bed.

It's just because right now, if she goes to sleep, she'll wake up if we take her up to bed (as in, as soon as she hits the bed, it's wake and scream). If I put her one the settee where I was, she'll stay asleep, but of course, that means we can't sit down or leave the room!

My dd is 2.3. I BF her until she was 22 months and she didn't stop waking in the night until I stopped. She now sleeps through 7.30 - 6. Same with ds.

ah, now that's interesting, Chub - Obviously, I don't mind her waking through the night or feeding to sleep, but always wonder how to get her to sleep once she stops BFing
nice to know it's possible

It only took three or four slightly broken nights for her to accept boob was not forthcoming.

ah, right.
I want her to finish by herself, but still to be able to work out how to sleep

Good luck with that. I don't think either of my children would ever have voluntarily given up the breast.

ah, thanks :(

My 21 month old wakes up anywhere from 7- 7:30. Goes to bed at 7pm and sleeps right through. He was breastfed for 18 months and co slept for the first 6. I found once he got to 15 months he was easier to settle with a bottle rather than boob and gradually he weaned himself off wanting breast milk at all and learned to self settle. He still needs a lot of body contact during the day though (ie never lets go of my hand or stops clinging to my leg, )

Aah wotcha lovey.

I don't have the eczema side of things to deal with but I do have an extended bfer and we do co-sleep. I did exactly the same first time round. Older dd is 6 and ds was 2 last month.

DS still bfeeds to sleep at around 8.30pm. I cuddle him while he sleeps and then put him down in his cot after an hour or so (one side off so he's right next to me). He wakes a few times a night for a feed, sometimes having a good 7hr stretch first but usually, is awake for a feed after about 4 hours. I know he can self settle because on occasion I feel very touched out and ask him if he'll just stop bfing for a few minutes and he latches off and goes to sleep without it. This has coincided with him really understanding that bfing can come with rules and etiquette. DH CANNOT put him down to sleep. He just screams. MIL and FIL put him to bed once a couple of months ago with no fuss, no tears, nothing. They asked if he was tired, he said yes and went to bed. I ask him if he wants to go to bed and he asks for 'muwk' first. I watch him feed though and he's slowly starting to latch off before he's properly asleep. He pulls off, shuffles a bit and then drifts off properly. He looks like he fell asleep on the breast but I know from watching dd do the same at the same age that he's actually beginning to self settle.

At the same age, dd was the same. I let her slowly move towards self settling which she did from this same age and at 2.4, I decided to start encouraging the process and to start refusing night feeds but gently. We did a slightly adapted version of Jay Gordon's night weaning and there were no tears. It was the right time. I also introduced the concept then that breastmilk was a bed only thing. Morning or evening (though I relaxed this if ill or hurt) only. This was all done v gently and with lots of explanation and encouragement. DD understood what was happening and there were no tears.

DS is a milk monster right now. It seems like it will never end but DD was the same at the same age. I can see the slight shifts in behaviour and the beginnings of negotiation starting. This can and will happen.

DD self weaned at 3.4. If I'm honest, I did encourage it by distracting and 'forgetting' feeds but she moved away from it by herself tbh.

DD has slept brilliantly since turning 2.5. She had her own room and we let her choose to go in there when ready. At first she settled in there and came in every night and did the second half of the night with us. By 3, she slept most nights in her own bed. By 4, night visits were rare.

Well done you. I have such admiration for you. I think you're brillig. Please don't worry. BFing is an evolving relationship and you are one half of it.

DS is 2.8 and generally sleeps 7pm - around 6-7am (unless there's development/illness/other things making him feel insecure and he'll wake around 5.30) - he started falling asleep reliably on his own when I night-weaned him using Dr Jay Gordon's method. He still asks for the occasional breastfeed but has pretty much stopped now. We night-weaned at 15 months but not feeding to sleep played a big part in that, I think the two go hand in hand (I've found with both DC that if they feed to sleep they need a feed with each night waking, on the nights they fall asleep independently - which I think is a milestone independent to each child - they feed less frequently or not at all during the night and seem able to settle themselves) - I do think that children need to feel secure before they're able to fall asleep by themselves, and that takes longer for some than others (and who wouldn't want to fall asleep during their favourite warm drink snuggled with one of their favourite people) - DS co-slept until 16 or 17 months and then we put him in a cot on a platform we made to make it the same height as our bed, we left one side off until he was fully night-weaned and then gradually made the move to his bedroom, at each stage we stayed with him until we felt he was ready for us to move further away.

I do remember that at one point we were trying for 2 hours every night to get him to go to sleep and eventually started putting him to bed later and he dropped straight off. it was worth the missed time in the evening for less stress! if I were your DH I would try this on a Thursday, trying to keep the atmosphere quiet and comforting until DC started to slow and looked sleepy, but then I'm a big fan of whatever the opposite of crying to sleep is! it's a very individual choice. of course an earlier bedtime may help with the early mornings, we're currently trying that with less TV. your DD may need some gentle persuasion (firm but offering lots of cuddles and reassurance) to fall asleep without breastfeeding but IME if a child is ready it won't be desperately hard, if it is its not time yet!

DS's eczema went completely when we stopped bathing him every day, but obviously it could just have been a mild case. I've heard very good things about using oats in the bath (put in some old tights and strain) to clear it up. I hope you find something that works for you!

showy that's pretty much exactly DD.

we don't have grandparents to try it with though, and don't have close enough friends to do it
eitger (no babysitters :( )

the irony is nicecup is that's what he does.
on the Thursday, he changes her for bed, sits her on his lap and watches quiet tv with her. so he's cuddling her. but she just can't settle.
more patience than me, because I get proper stressed when she cries. but then I've got the drugs .
so g
he sits and waits for her to fall asleep.

we daren't leave her to sleep without being there vecause (this is where the eczema comes in) when she's sleepy and tired, she scratches gerself raw.

he's just confirmed that of late she cries less and settles quicker.
so it's probably just and age thing :)

nickelbabe, are you me?
I have lots of the same issues with my 26 month old DD. She has just gotten over chicken pox (which really seems to have made her eczema flare up again) & her sleep is worse than ever.
We have steroids cream etc for her but she screams every time we come near her with it. I know the itching is a big part of her problems settling and waking up during the night but I find it so hard having to bath her while she cries and hold her down to out cream in. Sounds selfish but it is just so draining and I hate seeing her in pain.
She is a very enthusiastic breastfeeder! But it no longer gets her to sleep quickly like it used to. Have mostly co-slept but we are waking her up now so think I need to try and get her to sleep in toddler bed. But she is so wired every night!! Ahhh!
Hope you are getting on better. Is your DD's eczema impacting on her sleep?

I think I might be

the only time we get any respite is when she has the steroid. well, after a few hours when she's stopped scratching at the skin that's now thinner..

yup it stops her sleeping. the past two nights she's hardly slept at all and has just scratched all night.

Ok my ds is 3 now, he was breastfed until 2 1/2 yrs, and slept in my bed he used to fall asleep on our sofa and we would take him up about 9pm (I know I'm a bad mum) now he's not breastfed he goes into his own room and bed at 7:30pm wakes up at 5am and climbs into my bed and sleeps for a further 2 hours :) it took us 6 months ish to get him to sleep that long in his own bedroom but it's getting easier and easier :)

I cosleep with my twins and breastfed until they self weaned.

From about 6 months old, I would feed them to sleep on our bed, with walls/bedrails to stop them rolling out. At some point they started feeding and then sleeping, with a definite end to the feed, then roll over or cuddle to sleep, but I can't remember when.

When I went back to work when babies were 1 year old, they got used to being rocked to sleep by my mum and put into their cots. I would then bring them in to our bed when they first woke for a feed. At that point I started feeding/cuddling to sleep in the bed, then transferring to the cots so that we had some space in the bed for the early part of the night.

We did that for ages and ages, with them sleeping in cots from bedtime until about 12.30am. Then they'd each feed (separately) at 12.30am ish, 3.30am ish, 5.30am ish and then up for the day between 6am and 7am.

At about 2yrs 4mo, DS started to sleep through several times a week, and at 2yrs 6mo he stopped feeding.

At about 2yrs 6mo, DD started to sleep through some nights, and at 2yrs 9mo she stopped feeding too (my boobs were "broken" apparently!).

They still sleep in our bed, though they start in the cot (and sometimes stay there) on nights my mum puts them to bed. I still cuddle them to sleep in our bed. They generally go to bed between 7pm and 8pm, waking between 6am and 7am. That isn't really enough sleep for them, they are better on days following a 7pm to 7am sleep, but its what life dictates at the moment. They sleep for between 1 and 4(!) hours in the day to compensate. They're very nearly 3yrs now :)

I don't know if that helps. Maybe it just helps to hear what others do?

DD is 31 months had to count so 2 and half!

BF for 7 weeks struggled with low milk supply , never co-slept. DD slept through from about 4 months.

6.45 - 7pm - Bath, teeth etc
7pm - stories, bit of milk
In bed and lights out by 7.30pm. She has a nightlight. Sometimes we have a bit of messing about but nothing major. Always leave the book with her to have a flick once we've left.

Sleeps till 6.45am but stays in her room till we get her up after 7am.

Very lucky.