3yo DS behaving badly at football class

[Bibblebo]

What to do? I signed my 3yo DS up for gymnastics and football club at my local centre. He seems to love the gymnastics and behaves pretty well although can become distracted (of course this is totally understandable 3yo behaviour). On the other hand, at his football class he seems very distractible, and acts up. If asked to do something he sometimes lies down on the floor, can tantrum etc. it's almost as if he expects to be noticed more by acting up. He seems to just want to do the opposite of what he's asked. Today, my father took him to his lesson and came back saying that he fooled around and then kicked another child - his friend in the head. He has been given a warning and won't be allowed to come anymore if he doesn't behave well.
What I don't understand is why he is so obedient at gymnastics but so naughty at football. I wonder if it's because gymnastics happens after nursery on a week day when he has already had a fair amount of playtime. Football is first thing on a Saturday and all male whereas gym is all female inc. teachers. Any comments welcome!

Maybe he doesn't like football

Honestly at that age I wouldn't give it a second thought, just admit it's not working for some unspecified reason that doesn't particularly matter, and take him out of football. Plenty of time to try again when he's reached the grand old age of five.

He's 3. He really, really doesn't need to go to football classes. Generally, 3 year olds and structured activities don't really mix. Just forget it. Go home and kick a ball around with him. Try it again in a year.

He's just not that into football. Save your money!

Interesting, he loves football.. It's just this class.
I don't agree that 3 year olds and structured activity don't mix - he is the only child in the class that behaves like this - and he is very good when at gymnastics. He has on occasion, I forgot to add been great all through the football lesson, which is less structured than gymnastics - just games with the ball when it's that age group. Of course I'll take him out if he doesn't get on with it next week.
Interesting that none of you think that the gender thing has any bearing on it. I wonder if male company signifies fooling around and female company structure? His Dad is a rough play, fool around master! Anyway just wondering if there are any insights other than the obvious ones like 'he just doesn't like football and he's only 3' he is so great at football!

Have a look for a different group the , maybe a skills based group might suit him better.
He is very young also, so may be exhausted by the weekend, especially early on a Saturday.
An afternoon group might suit him better.

I work with 3 year olds and agree that they can do structured activities very well.
I have always found that the children do respond well to males, so disagree that it is because it is led by a man.
The things that could be triggering the behaviour, in my opinion
is the class not structured enough?
does he know what is expected of him?
is the class too big?
is the class inside? is the hall echoey?
is there some underlying hearing problem that makes it harder for your ds to hear, like glue ear or is he full of a cold?
does he actually enjoy football?

Yes, he has mild hearing issues post glue ear but is almost better. Yes the hall is echoey. I think it's true that he may not quite know what is expected of him and he is therefore becoming distracted and annoyed. He is the only child in our household (has step brother and sister) and is used to lots of one to one and a high child/staff ratio at his nursery.
Perhaps an afternoon class would be better too.
He has always been a willful child and I am by no means a 'pushy' parent but often with him it's a 'wag the dog scenario' and that is why I think that the classes will be good for his development, if he can learn to 'join in'.
Thanks for the replies so far

He can join in, he has proved that by his other class, where he is able to follow the instructions.
If I think about our classes in the nursery where I work, during the football class the instructor moves around and sometimes the children are behind him, and therefore not all of them can follow his instructions.
It might be that the environment in which the football lesson takes place in is wrong, and it's not your child's fault at all.
Does he have to do football?

He's only 3.
Let him do the things he enjoys and if he's not enjoying the structure of that class,stop.

My DS (just 4)was like that,we persisted for 6m from age 3 but he constantly messed around and wanted to do his own thing so we stopped.He's enjoying swimming and trampolining but hasn't asked to go back to football.Now he's at school I think he would probably be much better in the football class but there is plenty of time for him to show more interest.
I would stop the class,play for fun and wait until he asks to go back.

No he doesn't have to do football! He often likes it. I'm more interested in his behaviour patterns when challenged with different scenarios.
He kicked his friend in the head today - he knows that this is wrong. At nursery he can be very good but at circle time often is held down on a staff members lap to make it appear that he's joining in. Or he'll be given a puppet to hold that he'll take around the circle and bite people with so that it looks cute. Other times he'll sit there as if butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. Interesting really. I don't expect anything - hope he doesn't carry on hitting and kicking, running away and lying on the floor though. He certainly responds to a fierce telling off from me - becomes angelic! I hate it though. I'm sure it's all normal though. There's always one and my son is him! Chip off the old block probably.

OP I agree with the others - he is 3 and if he isn't enjoying this class (it definitely doesn't sound like he is!) then I would drop it.

Perhaps at the weekend he would rather just be hanging out with you?

what you have described-:
problems following instructions
being easily distracted
not responding at circle time
not being able to concentrate at circle time
are all classic behaviours of children with hearing loss and glue ear

stratagies to support him would include:-
sitting him at the front in group situations, such as circletime
addressing him by name first then giving him an instruction
making sure the environment is not too loud or echoey and there is no background noise
making sure that he can always see the face of the person talking
I trust the nursery are doing all of these and more?

Thanks insancerre.
Yes the nursery are aware of his glue ear. His last audiology appt confirmed that it was nearly better but I can imagine that the echoey hall could make him revert to bad behaviour.

At the age of 3yo ds1 didn't pay a great deal of attention in football classes - he enjoyed it and got excited but was very distractable and was more likely to sit on the ball spinning round and round on his bottom than he was do actually attempt to play the game. He also liked to run off to investigate the gym equipment at the other end of the hall. We kept him in the class because he enjoyed it and because he is a very active boy and at least he was burning off a little energy. He is now 4.9yo and football classes are totally different - he concentrates, dribbles well, scores goals and is really good for his age! I think it's most important that they enjoy it - if your ds is having fun, then keep him in the class. If he spends more time tantrumming and getting frustrated then maybe take him out of it and leave it a while before trying again - or ask him in 6 months time if he'd like to go to football, he'll be old enough to decide himself if he'd like to or not.

So, I spoke to mr Coach this week and told him about the glue ear and that my son needed a bit more in the way of direction. The coach gave him more attention and spoke to him directly when he didn't respond. My little 3 yo then won this weeks medal after kicking the ball into the goal and impeccable behaviour - he really enjoyed it this time. So happy

that's good to hear