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Parenting

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Original poster

3 year old in buggy

16 replies

NicLovesCheese · 05/10/2013 09:43

Hello! Be gentle with me, I feel like a terrible parent! My daughter is nearly 3 and very capable of walking to places, BUT when I need to go shopping I still use the buggy, quite frankly I'm not sure how else I would contain her! It is so stressful if she's walking as she gets under people's feet and is going through a CHARMING phase of ignoring anything I say (such as no or stop!)

Anyway, I'm doing that typical thing of wondering if I'm an awful mum and stunting her development by using the buggy when we go to the shops- that sounds a bit ridiculous now I say it out loud... That's ridiculous right??! Agh...

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MarianneEnjolras · 05/10/2013 09:52

I stopped using the buggy with ds when he was nearly 2 because he wanted to walk everywhere but I found it hard to keep hold of the buggy and ds, especially if he bolted so it was less stressful to leave the buggy at home.

I have used reins on ds, and one of those backpacks with a "lead" attached to them so he can't run away.

However I did have to start a rule quite early on that if I need him to hold my hand and he won't then I don't move. If he tries to run off while I'm standing still waiting for him to hold my hand then he is put in time out (in the middle of the pavement if necessary - yes I was that mother "ignoring" the screaming toddler while I wait for him to calm down and hold my hand so we can carry on).

However, he is now 3.2 and very very good at holding my hand and stopping at roads. So it was worth it, although I wanted the ground to swallow me up on a daily basis for a long time.

Knittingnovice · 05/10/2013 09:53

My 3y7m DD1 was poorly this week. I had no hesitation about digging out the double buggy for her and 25week old DD2, for the school run.

She walks on the school run now, but only because all I talked about over the summer was her walking, prior to that she would get in the buggy.

For me it was easier, DS walking, DD1 & 2 in the pushchair.

Now, I can't hold both of their hands near busy roads (DS is 5), so they hold the pushchair, but stand in front of the wheels etc and I end up banging their ankles a lot.

And I despise scooters, due to many incidents with children on the school run scooting so far ahead of their parents and into my ankles, knocking DS & DD over, etc

It's not ridiculous, it works for you.

rumbelina · 05/10/2013 10:01

Don't sweat it at all. I would say that long as she is walking other places it is fine for certain situations where it is quicker, easier and safer.

Ds is nearly 3 and we use the buggy in certain situations eg if out and about on a day he really needs a nap. Or if walking a distance eg to my mum's - 45 min brisk walk for adults - and need to get there within the day!

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NotCitrus · 05/10/2013 10:12

Not a problem at all - I took the buggy for longer even if ds walked, just to put shopping in or him in on the way back with shopping on back, especially after he could climb out of trolleys...

He was walking 2/3 mile to nursery by 3.5, but then back to buggy for a while when I was pregnant. I've found people who never use buggies after 2 are those who drive everywhere or 'never' excludes long day trips!

pantsonbackwards · 05/10/2013 10:15

Don't worry about it at all. Loads of parents use a buggy every day at that age as its so bloody hard to manage otherwise, with long distances, shopping, stopping them running off and just actually getting to things on time.

The only people that would judge you for it are idiots who aren't worth listening to.

Im sure she gets exercise at other times so you won't be stunting her development.

Actually the only time i have ever heard a parent criticised for using a buggy is on mn. Its one of those things that doesn't seem to happen anywhere near as much in real life.

You can always pop her out of the buggy for short walks and then pop back in when it starts getting tricky.

pantsonbackwards · 05/10/2013 10:16

Oh yes the ones who do criticise on here are the ones who go everywhere by car, which is of course like a massive buggy.

Habbibu · 05/10/2013 10:20

DS has just turned 4, and although I'm not sure when was the last time he went in the buggy, I'm keeping it for a bit, as he still needs a sleep most afternoons, and if I need to be out all afternoon with him, and if he's, say, missed a sleep the day before it's easy to let him sleep in the buggy. He's quite wee, though, so maybe looks a bit younger. He mostly walks and rides his bike everywhere, though.

Meglet · 05/10/2013 10:22

I don't think it matters at all. Mine were in the buggy until they were well over 4. We're big walkers and I don't have time for dawdling.

They're primary age now and both used to walking long distances with me.

mrssprout · 05/10/2013 10:24

I had a little boy with us that at about the same age would often decide to stop walking half way there. With my health he was too heavy for me to carry & after being rescued by my next door neighbour once when he sat & wouldn't budge I decided to give up trying to get him to walk. I would either put him in the pram & 6 month old in a pouch on me or take them in the double pram. I only stopped when the combined weight of 2 children & the pram was more than I weighed & it would just about finish me off every day doing the school run. I say just go with what works best for you at the time.

Thumbwitch · 05/10/2013 10:26

My DS1 was still using his all the while he was 3, and if we went out for the day to something like a country show when he was 4 as well. This was mostly because my back is shot and I couldn't carry him if he got tired, and also because the stroller was very useful to carry any other heavy stuff that we might have picked up (because of my back again).

Didn't bother me and it shouldn't bother you - do what you need to do and ignore anyone else - your DD will be able to walk well enough as she gets bigger and right now it sounds like you need to keep her safe as much as anything else!

Fifibluebell · 05/10/2013 10:35

I don't own a car, its a 45 minute walk to town if I walk at a good speed, if I didn't put my son in the pushchair I would never get anywhere he is only just 2 but I wouldn't hesitate to put him in at 3 and people may judge they may not a lot of people who no longer use a buggy at 2 probably came by car so they don't have to worry about dc's darting off on a main road etc!

Original poster

NicLovesCheese · 05/10/2013 15:49

Thank you everyone, you've reassured me and made me laugh! You're right, whatever works! And it is definitely a safety issue sometimes. Although I really need to crank it up a notch with some discipline I think.
Having said that, this morning we went to town and she varied between being in the buggy and walking alongside holding it (defo handy for carrying the shopping!) and as long as I used my strict voice and praised her, she was really good at walking.

I never thought this was the kind of thing if be stressed about!!
Thank you. And watch out for my next post, probably something along the lines of " STILL not potty trained, help!" :)

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MultipleMama · 06/10/2013 22:07

My oldest is 5 and still uses the stroller mainly when he's ill or having a clingy day which to be fair isn't that often. He'd rather walk but somedays it's much easier just to let him do what he wants. DD1 is 30 months and uses the stroller if I'm carrying one of the younger siblings.

Lucyadams184 · 07/10/2013 10:59

We used the pushchair for my daughter until she was 4 on occasions, sometimes it's just easier.

confusedofengland · 07/10/2013 11:49

I would say not a problem. However, I am currently trying to stop using the pushchair for DS2, (2.6 tomorrow), before DC3 arrives in February & one thing which I am finding works well, is if I let him have something to push ie doll's pushchair or toy trolley. Could be worth a try for you?

Balloonist · 07/10/2013 11:57

I used one until my DD was just about to start school. Even then she got so tired that she often hopped in on the way back during foundation (whilst I carried the toddler).

I still use it to take her out for a zip round the block in her PJs if she can't sleep (when it's too hot etc).

People think nothing of using the car for this sort of thing so why not?

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