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Original poster

Baby won't sleep! Help!

16 replies

MamaPingu · 05/10/2013 06:33

When I first brought my DS home from hospital he would have two 4 hour sleeps during the night which was just nice. Now at 4 weeks he seems to sleep a lot during the evening and is up every 1-2 hours during the night and it's killing me.
I'm not sure why the change has happened, he has just had a big growth spurt but this is still happening!

Is there anything I can do?
I really struggle to nap before night time

OP posts:

gretagrape · 05/10/2013 07:22

4 weeks - I remember that time being a complete fog because the sleep deprivation was building and building but there was NO semblence of a routine.
I think all babies have their own natural night/day times and until they mature a bit it might not quite fit in with ours. My son always had his 'long' sleep from around 5pm, then from 10pm onwards it was feeds as frequent as during the daytime. I just went with it by sleeping at 5pm - not very convenient but it meant I knew I was going to get a decent stretch of sleep, and it's not for long.
Eventually he did start to shift his night-time sleep a bit later so that by around 12 weeks he would sleep from around 7pm.
Might not be what you want to hear as another 8 weeks or so seems like a lifetime, but as long as you continue to teach him the difference between night and day he will eventually get there....and I'd definitely try to develop the skill of napping on demand - it will save your sanity!

minipie · 05/10/2013 08:56

4 weeks was when dd started to be more wakeful too...

How much sleep is he getting in the day? Is he getting enough naps? he needs about 5 hours sleep in the day at this age iirc.

BarberryRicePud · 05/10/2013 09:27

Sorry OP but this is really very normal and likely to continue for some time yet, weeks or months. The good news is you will get more used to the lack of sleep and they will sleep eventually!

Use the evening sleep to catch up yourself too. Once you're really tired, you will be able to do this.

DS slept for max 45 mins for 5m and didn't nap in the day without being held for that time too. Screamed in car or buggy. DD is 5m now and has always been a better sleeper and will now do the odd 4 hour stretch.

It is a shock to the system when they don't conform to what the books lead you to expect, but truly you'll drive yourself mad if you spend the next few months trying to "fix" this. And IME it won't work. Co-sleeping saved my sanity both times.

Chin up OP, it doesn't last forever, though I know how awful it feels. Accept and ask for help, allow housekeeping standards to take massive nosedive and eat cake, lots of cake.

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Original poster

MamaPingu · 05/10/2013 09:34

He tends to sleep a lot from about 3pm - 11pm, only waking for a feed then straight off again for 3-4 hour sleeps! But from 11pm until about 10am he's awake loads wanting feeding!

I just wish he didn't tease me by letting me have a week or two of decent nights sleep then take it away haha

Funny you should say eat lots of cake, last night I had two pieces of cake and a plate of cheese for some reason! I dare say I felt a bit ill afterwards

OP posts:

ChazzerChaser · 05/10/2013 09:40

I bed shared with mine from the off. So he used to wake and feed but we'd just doze off again together which made it a lot easier. The ISIS website is a research project which gives really useful info about what to expect from babies' sleep patterns and the pros and cons of different sleeping arrangements. I'd focus on how to change the circumstances to make it all more manageable rather than trying to change the baby's behaviour. For me that's a lot less stressful but it depends how you like to approach things of course.

BarberryRicePud · 05/10/2013 09:48

Hmm. Some good things to try then to sort day and night are to make sure you get outside in day light (when he's awake), limit day naps to 3 hours and ensure room is v dark at night.

Also recommend getting the no cry sleep solution early rather than waiting!

Original poster

MamaPingu · 05/10/2013 09:55

Personally although I know a lot like it I wouldn't dare have DS sleep in my bed, I'd be terrified of hurting him. I feel a lot happier having him next to me in the Moses basket!

I had a look on that website, thankyou very much

What do you mean by the no cry sleep solution?

OP posts:

Original poster

MamaPingu · 05/10/2013 11:08

Think I had the worst night yet last night!

I've barely slept in 2 months (couldn't sleep in late pregnancy), had an operation (emergency c section) and all I get is people moaning THEY are tired. I just stare at them in disbelief haha!!

OP posts:

minipie · 05/10/2013 11:34

ah so it sounds like he's having his "night" in the afternoon. I think you need to try to delay that sleep little by little until it's at a more sensible bedtime, in the meantime try to get some naps in the afternoon while he sleeps...

Original poster

MamaPingu · 05/10/2013 11:49

Do you have any tips for keeping him awake? He seems to drop to sleep and be hard to wake eg. When trying to get him to feed a little more.

And would half an hour be a good amount of time to delay? Or an hour?

If I could do that it'd make me feel hopeful at least haha

OP posts:

BarberryRicePud · 05/10/2013 14:49

I mean the no cry sleep solution. Has lots of tips about early sleep too.

It's essential but v hard to get them to take a full feed. To keep him awake try tickling feet, blowing on face, changing nappy half way through a feed.

I'd let him sleep at 3 if tired, but wake at about 5 and keep awake for a while, so he knows it's just a nap. Either that or just shift back by 15 mins per day.

minipie · 05/10/2013 14:59

yes what Barberry says is sensible - ie let him have the 3pm sleep but limit to 2 hours, then at 5 try to keep him awake a bit longer eg 30/45 mins awake rather than straight back to sleep after the feed. do the 5pm feed in a light room, sing to him, show him shiny things etc and yes tickle to keep him awake... it will get easier to keep him awake as he gets older.

Then his new "bedtime" is hopefully 5.45.... assuming he understands that 3-5 was a nap ... You can push this back gradually by pushing the 3pm nap to 3.10 and the 5.45 bedtime to 5.55, etc. But really don't try to keep him awake too long or push back too fast as you could make him overtired and then he won't sleep well at any time! 10/15 min increments is all you can do at this age.

Original poster

MamaPingu · 05/10/2013 17:17

Thanks for the advise it is much appreciated he has been awake loads since about 3 in the morning and has just been having little naps no longer than an hour until now!

You wouldn't believe how lively he is! It's like he's months old, he's not a typical new born compared to the ones I've seen He's incredibly alert, can hold himself really well and doesn't stop moving and looking around!
I'm going to bath him at about 8 I think, for a feed and a bath. He seems to sleep maybe 4-7 then 9-11 normally so it needs pushing back bit by bit until it's a bit darker haha!

OP posts:

Original poster

MamaPingu · 05/10/2013 17:35

Well I thought he was asleep he's awake again after 30 minutes! Is this normal? I'm worried he isn't sleeping enough!

OP posts:

BarberryRicePud · 05/10/2013 19:14

Can be I'm afraid. So long as he's otherwise well I'm afraid you end up just having to go with it. Good luck tonight. Keep repeating the old mumsnet favourite: this too shall pass.

Original poster

MamaPingu · 05/10/2013 20:37

I'm fortunate that my mum has offered to have him for the night after how bad it was last night! DP is away 5 nights in a row so it kills me not to get a break

Good nights kip tonight then I'll be ready to tackle the following 3 nights!

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