Desperate for a girl, anyone use Shettles?

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Ok, I know there will be lots of raging people reading this for the sole purpose to berate me on how selfish I am.

I know. I don't know why I want a DD as much but it never leaves my head, all day, every day. Im obsessed.

I didn't have a good relationship with my dad or brother. They are both very abusive. My relationship with my mum means the world to me. She had a wonderful mother daughter relationship with my gran and me with her. Infact until my gran died a few years ago, the 3 of us were very close.

Now I have a lovely husband and 2 little boys whom I love very much so im no man hater. I think im pretty grounded despite my horrible dad.
Clearly there is issues but It's not why i came on here. I've name changed as I know people will hate me for not appreciating what I have got. It won't change how I feel if you do cross examine me!!

If you have used Shettles and it worked/failed then id love to hear from you though.

I know two people who followed it religiously. It worked for one but not the other. (Not very helpful - sorry)

Surely it doesn't matter what you do. It's whichever sperm gets there first

Well my cousin did. She already had 2 boys and they were desperate for a girl. They welcomed their DS3 in July this year! A baby is a baby and should only be conceived if you want another CHILD not a specific gender.

FWIW We have 5 boys, could not be happier or more proud of our family.

I'm not judging you for wanting a girl, I think lots of people have a preference if they were honest.

However, just because you have a girl, there is no guarantee she will be the girl you have perceived her to be in your head. She may be a tomboy with a real closeness to her Dad.

To answer your OP.. it is easier to conceive a boy with Shettles because you just need to exactly time ovulation. To conceive a girl is more complicated. There is lots of info online and even a whole forum for this, forgot the name though. Good luck!

If you have two boys already then your chance of the next being a girl is less than 50/50. I think its important to bear in mind that the odds are against you before you try for a third child and think hard about how you would feel if it is a third boy. Sometimes its better to stick with what you have already got.

I've never heard of it but surely if there was proof that anything like it actually worked then in countries where everyone just wants boys / girls there'd be a real gender imbalance because everyone would be picking the gender they want.....!

For what it's worth I have a ds and a dd and babies and young children are sexless really. They are the same regardless. And as children become older they become their own people - my Dd is very much a tomboy at 10 years old. Not interested in clothes or hair etc at all, have to virtually bribe her into the shower!

I think you need to stop thinking about gender, as hard as it is.

I am expecting a girl after two boys. We did concieve earluer in the cycle, so maybe timing is a factor. It took us a ling time to decide to go for number 3 as I wanted to be sure I was happy with any gender.

We dtd 7 days before ovulating and our beautiful ds2 is the result!
Load of rubbish if you ask me.

It doesn't work I'm afraid. It remains pretty much 50/50 regardless. You are very slightly more likely to have another boy if you have a third but not by much. The shettles method is based on interesting theory but that's all it is. In reality, it makes no difference.

"Although we often hear the "statistic" that you are 30% or even 70% more likely to keep having the same gender, this is just an old wives tale. It is NOT a fact. The truth is, your odds stay pretty close to 50% for each child and only vary slightly. If you have had 2 or 3 boys, you are only about 2% to 6% more likely to have another boy. If you have had girls, you are slightly more likely to have a boy next"

From here.

Have another baby if you want another baby. There's nothing wrong with wanting a girl, but you have a 50/50 chance or thereabouts of having one. It might be worth instead exploring why you feel the way you feel. I desperately wanted a boy because of a difficult mother/daughter relationship that I was scared of replicating. I am eternally grateful that I had a dd because it taught me that my preconceptions were wrong and what was affecting me was my past, not my potential future.

Tried it for DC2 and got a boy.

I'd say only have another baby if you genuinely want another child, not if you specifically want a girl. No harm in trying the method but it's obviously not fool proof. If it works at all I'm going to guess it only slightly sways the chances (like 55% chance of a girl or something - this is my totally non scientific opinion ).

if you are really that desperate for a girl baby there are websites out there like ingender and gender dreaming and forums with people with similar wishes. I think like people have said the shettles method is pretty defunct x

sheeplikessleep sorry to be so, ahem, to the point but was that the only time you tried that month?

It's just I have 3 friends who have used it and 2 had girls and one didn't but when I questioned her further she had actually had sex on 3 different occasions that month. Still adamant it didn't work for her but obviously she can't be sure!

Red face, we had a 7 days gap until I got a positive on the ovulation stick (where we didn't dtd). So basically the last time in the lead up to ovulation was 7 days. We didn't dtd after ovulation either.

However, I do think there is something in having fewer sperm /fewer attempts = girl.

Nothing is 100%. Nothing wrong in swaying the odds, but only if happy to have another boy. Tbh, I've got 3 boys now and happy as larry!!

Agree sheeplikesssleep. I do have to think long and hard about this one. I have to imagine it being another boy and how i'd feel before I think about another. Bigger family's don't worry me though.

There was another theory that went against Shettles, forget the name, maybe something like Whelan.
It was something like 3 days before ovulation was peak time for girls but if it was 5-7 days it would then become more likely to be a boy again as well as actual ovulation.

You'd have to be bloody accurate if this is the case!

I have 2 DC, first was a boy, 2nd was a girl.

She's the first female born in my husband's family in almost 70 years! He has all brother's, all nephews, all male cousins, etc etc. When we had her I had several people asking me 'how' we'd got a girl, and our answer was that honestly we didn't do anything differently to how we conceived DS. I really like it's just luck.

I wasn't fussed either way, and had only ever expected to have a 2nd DS due to DH's family history!

No idea what shettles is, but I can give my experience...

I was using ovulation test sticks and temperature tracking and knew exactly which day I ovulated (along with the fact I get ovulation pain) and we only did the deed once that month which was 5 days before ovulation - not intentional just too bloody knackered to make any effort nearer the time of ovulation. I was sure I couldn't be pregnant, as 5 days is the very outside limits of possible and that is with perfect conditions, and being over 40 I didn't think that was likely. Anyway turns out it was possible and I was pregnant. Due to the whole timing thing I was totally convinced it would be a girl (based on the theory that male sperm sprint to the egg but die pretty soon after if its not there, but female sperm swim slower but then wait patiently for up to 5 days if its not there yet) plus my first child was a DD. Was again totally wrong and my second child was a DS.

So while there may be some evidence that the timing helps, it is definitely not a certainty.

Good luck making your decision and if you do go for DC3 I hope you get the girl of your dreams. x