six year old dd driving me bonkers

[Ghostsgowoooh]

She's rude, defiant, I say no firmly and offer a consequence and she does it anyway. Tonight She put her foot in the bath after I warned her not too. I was running it and luckily it wasn't hot but it could have been. She looks at me with a challenging look all the time and is constantly crying and whinging. Will not go to sleep either. She had me in tears before. I am struggling with her tbh.

I hear you. I have had a horrible time with my 6 year old DS lately. Exactly the same stuff.

My DS has been my best behaved child. Laid back, easy going, amuses himself. I could always deal with him quite easily if he misbehaved - until going back to school and into primary 2.

They have sent back the wrong child. Horrible, horrible boy. The way he speaks to me like i'm dirt on his shoe and never listens.

The foot in the bath despite the warning is typical. I bet the really naughty part of you wished it had been quite hot or is that just me .

No not just you . She does worry me though as she seems to go out of her way to do the opposite of what I say and seems to revert back to her 3 year old sisters age. Tonight I had a half an hour tantrum because I wouldnt pull up her pj bottoms for her after the bloody bath.

She does seem to be finding primary 2 quite difficult and seems quite miserable coming out every day. The work is harder, they are not babied anymore and her peer dynamic has changed. She was left out of every single class party last year and it's happened again this year and so far all her teachers in school say she is a lovely able child but is whiny and sulky and has been that way since nursery! She hits her sisters and is generally a horrible child to be around atm

I shouted at all four dc tonight and stormed off to bed. Feel like the worlds crappest mother.

4? 4 girls? What number does she come in?

1 boy ds who is the eldest and 3 girls. Dd2 is the six year old

Ah, middle child!

I took DS out for a whole day just him and I yesterday. Took him on the train into Edinburgh. John Lewis for lunch, museum, Mary King's Close, St Giles Cathedral (he is impressed with anything old - except me ) then Pizza Express!

OMG you have to do this with your DD2 (go out for the day).
He was a dream. He is in such a lovely mood today. Totally loving his siblings and me!

It not only cheered him up but it helped me loads too.

He had became so irritating and annoying to me all of the time that it was making me dislike him although I love him. I was in turn talking to him in an exasperated voice all of the time and also expecting way too much of him.

I realised he is only wee too. He looked so little and cute walking around with his over sized bag. When he got tired of all the walking he was putting his arms up to be lifted and was so cuddly.
I would never lift him usually and he never ask as my arms are always full with his little sis and bro.

It just made me realise how much he is over looked and I got to know him again, the better side of him.

Honestly, please look into doing this for a full day out and you will see what I mean. I feel so guilty now though!

Se sounds under stress.
Is she allergic to any foods - get her tested maybe?

Is she happy at school, or having to hold it all in until she gets home.

You need to give her plenty of hugs and hold her close, and tell her you love her.

She sounds very unhappy, poor thing, be kind to yourself too.

IME 6-7 and 9-10 (Y2 and Y5) are both ages at which DCs want to be more grown up than they are ready to handle.

This has a nasty tendency to show it's self as assertive stroppyness and toddler tantrums when they don't get there own way. DNiece (7) had a beauty last time we saw her.

What can you do? Firm boundaries help. We had a lot of "go to your room, until you want to be nice". By 6 DD2 knew full well that backchat, disobedience and baiting your big sister were not nice.

(And yes it would have been more PC to say when you want to behave nicely, but I'm crap at this modern positive parenting stuff).

Once you have been firm, ignore the tantrum, whining and cring that follows. Do not try and reason with the DC until they calm down same definitely goes for 9year olds). They may look big, but they still get into toddler type adrenaline fueled tizzes they can't control.

And finally as Redface says, individual attention, days out, evenings, DD2 liked to choose a board game to play with me when DH took DD1 to a late night dance class.

Going to see an elderly DF with a dog. DD2 loved walking and playing with the dog. DD1 is scared of dogs, so again this was something special for her.

If you can let them choose what to eat, where to eat, a simple choice of MC Donald's or KFC, Even Sainsbury's or Tesco's to do the food shopping or which of local towns to visit for new school trousers.

If your life is controlled by school rules six hours a day, you need a bit of choice. What small DC decide are important choices may seem very petty to adults, but become very important to small DCs. The more you can give them choice the easier it is for you both not to feel bad when mum's opinion has to prevail.