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Original poster

If you had an unputdownable baby

20 replies

MyNameIsAnAnagram · 01/10/2013 12:49

At what age did they start being putdownable?

Ds2 (20wks) is completely unlike ds1 and can't be put down for more than 10 mins before he cries. I have a sling which is great but I am getting fed up with having him attached to me all the time, and ds1 is missing out as you're a bit limited with a baby strapped to your front. He screams in the car, he screams in the pram, he screams in the supermarket, so I feel trapped in the house a bit too.
Is there anything I can do to gently ease him into being happier being put down? Will it improve when he can sit? A friend lent us a jumperoo which he will go a bit longer in so I hope sitting will help. I am feeling very frustrated atm and a bit resentful of him which is getting me down.

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PyjamasNotBananas · 01/10/2013 13:45

Both mine have been non put downable. I can relate to the screaming in the supermarket and car seat too! I used to need to get out the house for my own sanity but then I'd spend the whole time stressing trying to juggle a crying baby in one hand and push the shopping trolley with the other. Urrrgh. DS1 got better once he could crawl at about 9 months (sorry, I know that must feel like an age away) DS2 got better really once he could play a bit and reach for things. By the time he could sit up and roll about he was actually happier rolling around on the floor than being restricted in my arms. I don't think there's much you can do other than keep trying to put him down for 10 minutes here and there. Eventually they realise you won't leave them and they don't need to be on you all the time. It's hard work when you have an older child but it will get better as he becomes more independent and confident.

BarberryRicePud · 01/10/2013 14:16

DS was unputdownable. Got better once he could crawl at 7m. Much better once he could walk, at a year. Still at 3 a v tactile, cuddly child, but absolutely not clingy and v independent.

Things I think helped were playing peekaboo a lot, including from outside the room, so he got used to me going away and coming back. And putting down for increasing lengths of time. I used the baby gym and his babysitter balance chair for this, getting him happy with them first by not leaving at all for a couple of weeks just playing with him in them. Then popping away for just a minute in the same room etc. Used to see a minute more than last time as a major success.

Car - he stopped screaming at 9 months when I turned him round to a forward facing seat that was high enough for him to see out. Almost instant fix.

Buggy - never keen but stopped screaming about 5-6m. Very independent early walker though, had ditched buggy by 18m.

Dd is 5m and much more "normal". She'll bounce for 15-20 mins sometimes. Tolerates buggy and car seat though not a fan.

It will end, I promise. Probably not til he's mobile though. Sorry.

sugarandspite · 01/10/2013 14:22

At 20weeks if DC have good head control, they may well be ok in a sling on your back - I found this an absolute life saver with DD as it meant I could cook and load the washing machine and stuff with her attached to me as she needed but put of harms way. It might also make it a lot easier to play with your older dc if DC2 was on your back instead of your front?

We have an ergo carrier which was one of our very best baby purchases - you can use it to carry them on your front, hip or back and its so comfortable. It puts the weight on your hips not on your shoulders.

DD is nearly 3 and I can still carry her in it on a walk for over an hour comfortably. And I'm a weakling!

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HavantGuard · 01/10/2013 14:28

Have you tried a vibrating seat?

aliciaflorrick · 01/10/2013 14:34

Mine is 9 and he still drapes himself all over me; sneaks into bed with me in the morning, moves straight onto my lap as soon as he finishes breakfast, has to sit on my lap when we watch TV! He is a very tactile boy (but just with me).

When he was a baby, I remember thinking that as soon as I sat him on the floor it was as if I'd sat him on a drawing pin he screamed instantly.

My sympathies OP I know how demanding and draining this can all be. I truly ended up going back to work when he was six months old just so I could have some peace for two days a week.

mrsmartin1984 · 01/10/2013 16:25

Try a sling

Melonbreath · 01/10/2013 19:25

Dd was unputdownable unless in the jumparoo. I used a moby wrap, even on the loo
It got a bit better when dd could sit unaided at about 7 months, she would sit and talk to me whilst I was in the shower, washing up etc.
Now she can crawl it's MUCH better, if she's lonely in the sitting room and I'm doing stuff in the kitchen she simply calls out and comes to me with a big beaming grin on her face.

VerySmallSqueak · 01/10/2013 19:32

At about 4 months,in a baby swing,for short periods.It was the first time we could eat tea at the same time!

I found the colic that caused the screaming eased at about 4 1/2 months,and then stuff got much easier.

Keep positive,it could end quite soon.

mikkii · 01/10/2013 19:35

DS was always happy moving in the pram, but hated lying back. We had a take along swing and that was the only thing that kept me sane for his first year.

DD2 hated the swing!

Radiator1234 · 01/10/2013 19:36

Op you sound like me!

My Dd1 was perfect baby ... You could leave her on the mat for ages she wouldn't moan. In fact I used to smugly look at all the other mums moaning about their unputdownable babies and think they must have been exaggerating as I couldn't understand how it would be possible to have an unputdownable baby....(um... I know!).

Fast forward three years now DD 2 was a complete unputdownable baby! Nightmare ! She was grumpy in the first few weeks, then chilled out a bit then got very grumpy I would say it peaked at 4-5 months. The crying was draining.

However in the last month or so she has been much much better. She is now 6.5 months old. I think it's because she can now move/ sit up/ eat at the table, and generally be part of the action. She is now crawling (um... Gutted! Dd1 didn't crawl until 9.5 months), so I think basically she was just grumpy before because she wanted to GO!

We too have a jumperoo she loves it. I didn't have one first time around but I think it is the best bit of kit we have. Good luck OP!

Original poster

MyNameIsAnAnagram · 01/10/2013 20:02

Thanks everyone we have a swing, he sleeps in it but won't go in it awake.

I have actually just bought an ergo so will try a back carry too ( i could back carry in my meitai but think it might be easier in the ergo?) his head control is excellent and has been since day 1.

He's really the polar opposite of ds1 who cried to be put down when he was awake but needed so much more input to sleep. Ds2 sleeps so much more easily but I am finding him far harder work when awake. And I'm fed up of interfering old biddies nice old ladies accusing me of starving him as he screams around the supermarket!

OP posts:

Original poster

MyNameIsAnAnagram · 01/10/2013 20:03

Oh and yes to him being in the sling even in the loo!

OP posts:

CreatureRetorts · 01/10/2013 20:03

Is he getting enough sleep? I found this was a major cause of clinginess in dd. so she slept easier but that was because she was knackered!

VerySmallSqueak · 01/10/2013 20:06

OH MyName I remember all the comments like
"She sounds tired/hungry,dear"

I felt like saying back
"no shit Sherlock.I never thought of that...."

At least my dh could always find me in the supermarket - he just followed the screaming!

Original poster

MyNameIsAnAnagram · 01/10/2013 20:52

Yeah he naps well and is in a good routine (lead by him) of about 40mins at 9am, 2 hours ish at 12 and then another 40 mins at 4.30 - that's what he's fallen into and it's pretty flexible so if a nap is shorter he will sleep again earlier etc. his nights were fantastic, he'd slept through (9-5) quite a few times but mostly was doing either one or two wakes, the last two weeks have been a bit rubbish as he's had chicken pox but they are getting better again. He's not over tired, I'm confident there are no other issues, he feeds well etc. he's perfectly happy smiley giggly etc - as long as you're holding him!

OP posts:

NellysKnickers · 01/10/2013 20:55

Ds2 was like that. Still is at 2.9, only clingy for me though. Good job he's mega cute or I would have taken him back by now

sugarandspite · 01/10/2013 21:47

Do give the back carry with the ergo a try - the first couple of times its a bit 'oh my god I'm going drop the baby' but once your used to it, its sooooooo easy and handy.

I tend to put the ergo on around my waist, put DD on my hip then scoot her around behind me while leaning forwards so she is supported by my flat back. Then just pull ergo up around here putting one shoulder strap on at a time. Chest strap last.

Sounds ridiculously complicated but dead dead easy with a little practice!

ct148 · 01/10/2013 22:08

DS was a Velcro baby. My mum bought him a fisher price rainforest gym thingy. He absolutely loved it. Loved lying on his back looking up at all the animals dangling down and trying to grab them. Can't remember how old he was when we got it but don't think he was very old at all.

sydenhamhiller · 01/10/2013 22:19

DC1 and 3 were un-put-downable. I struggled with dc1, with dc3 was more chilled and 'whatever works' and she was in a sling nearly every waking moment until... 10months ish.

I had the mat, the bouncer, the jumperoo- nothing.

I didn't mind, but it did impact on my hip and back (long dull story), but as soon as she was 5 months I used to put her on my back in an Ergo as someone above said... Life changing for me! I ironed/ cooked/ cleaned/ with her on me.

Mother/ MIL quite sniffy about it in a 'rod for your own back way', but daily life has been so chilled, no shrieking baby, and dc3 is very chilled and happy soul. I am a total sling convert!!

Choos123 · 01/10/2013 23:14

Oh if the jumperoo is of interest, get a baby entertainer too, at least you can read a bit whilst they're in it. Leapfrog etc do them. Also, dd got more tired if we went out, loves people watching, can you try going to busy places like play groups and coffee shops to see if it helps?

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