3.5 yo waking at night

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Started when I was pregnant - DS1 would wake occasionally at night with "nightmares". He would wail really loudly like an air raid siren and then start shouting "no, no" etc. and banging his feet/hands on the wall. We would come rushing in and he'd be fine - awake and a bit :) at the lovely reaction he'd elicited. Now DS2 is here, he's doing the same - usually when DS2 wakes at night/if I feed DS2 at night/if DS2 murmurs at night.

These aren't real nightmares, are they? Is it attention seeking? He has also now started serious delay tactics at bedtime and then gearing up for a good shout/tantrum as he knows the noise may wake hte baby and we're more likely to give in to another story/playtime/light on etc.

Does this always happen when a new sibling arrives? Anything I can do to help him manage it better? Have ordered a 10 minute sandtimer to help with bedtime delays and we've talked a lot about how DS2 is learning to sleep so sometimes wakes up/needs a feed/cries at night and how DS1 doesn't need to worry and shoudl stay in bed and go back to sleep. Hmmm.
Any advice or just experiences of this and how it phased out (it does phase out, right?!) welcome. Getting up with a baby at night is bad enough but having to tackle a 3.5 yo too is getting a bit much! Last night, we were all (including DH) up at 4am due to various children crying! Will he just get used to it?

Goodness that's very similar to what goes on here with ds who is 4 and I had never thought that it may be due to dd coming along.
He sleeps thro the night about once a week, the rest of the time getting in our bed, complaining of nightmares, sore feet, tummy etc and makes a huge wailing fuss if you try to put him back quietly.
I had never thought that he was being loud on purpose but you might be on to something there!
I've no idea how to fix it tho.... We are going to start reward charts again for staying in his bed all night so maybe you could try that?

Sympathies, Purple! It's great fun, isn't it ;-)
We've not had much success with reward charts with DS1 so far - he seems to respond better to immediate rewards, which at 3am is obviously not really an option... Nursery have said, however, that reward charts work best from 4 years of age as the kids are better able to understand and respond to delayed rewards, so am sure you'll have better luck!
Sigh...here's to another night of chaos...

Up again last night but this time the poor child turned on his light and read his books. From 5am. He's now quite tired and emotional "getting up". Should I let him read? On one hand, he's awake and fed up listening to his little brother squawking next door so reads quietly instead of getting p and wailing. On the other, he is exhausted by morning and not fit for nursery. Any experiences of this?