Baby groups - how many, how often?

[NewToAllThis11]

Hello

Just wondering how often mums with dc under 18months go to baby groups / classes etc.

DS is 3 months (6 corrected, premature) and we've been going to 2 baby groups a week and I've just signed up for baby massage classes. I really like getting out and about with him and especially meeting other mums because I've recently moved to a new area and don't know anyone :(

But I also find that sometimes I'm either a) too tired b) too disorganised to get there on time, or c) have loads to do at home and I can't get any washing done, tidy up a bit, think about what to have for dinner etc. which is a bit stressful. I was planning to go to a group this morning but it's half an hour's drive away and I didn't get much sleep so by the time we were both ready, there wasn't any point in going. And I felt a bit guilty for not going!?

So am just interested in what other people do. I love being with my DS but am finding it's taking a while to get into any kind of routine. Plus, I used to have a very busy job where I was with people all day and the change from that to being a mum feels massive.

Just do what you are comfortable with! No point stressing out over it. If its important to you to go, then you will need to work out your laundry etc to fit around them.

I did 4 tots groups a week, all within 10 mins walk, with my own dd and then later with three small mindees. It helped keep me sane and was good for the kids re socialising (at toddler age) plus there was different toys than we had at home.

Im expecting in January and dont anticipate going to that many sit around and drink tea groups this time around until baby is older. I am planning baby massage, baby swimming and just one tots group a week.

I think baby groups are mainly for parents rather the babies so you should only go if you want to.

Personally they just weren't my thing at all. I tried 1 a week once dd was around 8-12 months as she really enjoyed seeing the other dc at that age but I found them rather tedious and preferred doing my own thing. Once she started nursery at 12 months I stopped completely.

I don't go to groups that you have to pay for or sign up in advance i'm far to disorganised and DS is 19mo, I just go to the kind you can drop into at anytime it's much easier so you can be late and sometimes I don't go if i'm tired or have things to do. Once they are a bit older you can do the soft play too if you feel they haven't done enough.

I love the groups like you I knew no one so they were a life line for me I would have gone mad sitting in all the time.

I haven't been to one for about 8 months. DC is 13 months. I just don't have the time, I work, volunteer, am renovating and have several other major responsibilities - DC has to come with me and fit into my life really. But I have lots of friends with babies and children and we do things with them. With my first I didn't work or have any other responsibilities, or any friends with children - then I went to about 2 a week and out of the house every day or I would have gone bonkers. So it's all relative, really. Do what you feel is right and if that's chilling out at home, do that!

At three months I don't think I went to any for the reasons you mention!

By 4 months I was going to swimming and massage.

Now at 6 months am going to another two classes and have just joined a gym that does mother / baby stuff on. I reckon I'll end up doing something most days. Luckily finances are not an issue.

I have found that by this point I am not so tired or shell shocked, DS needs a lot more entertaining and sleeps less and I am starting to go a bit stir crazy at home so it suits me to have something structured on most days.

Miaow. Poor you those mums sound horrid!!

My DS wasn't premie or anything but seems to be on the slower side physically and his peers all rolled, are sitting up and moving toward crawling far faster than he is! But he is by far the smiliest and 'chattiest' baby in any room so screw the rest of the sporty babies

When I just had one,I went to something every day.I had moved to a new area,had no friends there at all and wanted to make new ones.They were great for that and I really enjoyed it.
Now I've got 3 DCs and one is at school I take the toddler and baby to 3 groups a week.The baby gets nothing out of it but maybe smiles when they do a bit of singing.Toddler likes playing with different toys and seeing friends and I like chatting and drinking coffee.
The only thing that can be good about going to things with a baby this small is that you'll have time to talk to people.Once they are mobile it's harder to chat as you have to keep an eye on them.I'm glad I made friends at things like this when they were little as now these are the people I meet for play dates,soft play etc.But if you already have a good social network and have other things to do your baby will not be missing out so don't feel bad if you don't go to things now

OP your post could have been written my me. DD is 13 weeks and I'm feeling exactly the same as you

DD is 20 weeks we go to swimming, massage and a sure start baby group. I've tried a few free/paid classes. It's hit and miss whether you enjoy them or not.

TBH when a group is awful, competitive, mean (or the evil SIL attends) you don't have to go back again but I find it gives me a reason to get up and washed. I'm easily tempted to stay in bed eating Jaffa cakes with a baby otherwise.

I think baby groups are like sex - we all know we should do it more but it's only great if you're in the mood - if you're knackered and thinking about your other jobs you might as well not bother. Oh and everyone else always lies about how much they do!

Thank you for all the replies; i find it useful to see what other mums do. I think part of my issue is that there aren't many groups I can easily walk to where I live (or they're at 9am, which is completely unrealistic for me and DS!)
I have met some nice people at groups though, and I always feel like I've had a better day when I've been out and met people.

Also, DS is on oxygen due to his prematurity ( hopefully not for too much longer) and I find it quite difficult taking him to groups for the first time, because all I end up talking about is him being premature / traumatic birth etc. which I actually don't mind, and I'd MUCH rather people asked me about it than just stared, but it can be a little relentless if you're going to groups with completely different sets of mums every time. DS loves groups though - he might be tiny but he's so happy and smiley!

Miaow - that is awful and I feel angry on your behalf. What narrow-minded, horrible women! I haven't come across anything like that, luckily. How pathetic to try and point score with your dc!

Pocket - glad I'm not the only one who's a bit disorganised!

My LO is 18 weeks and I still haven't been to a baby group yet. She's been very colicky and silent reflux, so until now it was v v difficult to get out (screaminh episodes v unpredictable). However, I have been to a few breastfeeding groups with her and take her to big scream (cinema) once a week, and try to do go out at least every other day for shopping or a walk. I also found baby groups difficult because they'd just make me realise how settled other babies were in comparison to mine, and that'd just make me feel a bit down.

Notso, that is brilliant! I do get the feeling some mums don't want to admit that they're not out socialising/ at groups/ doing something 'enrichng' for their dc. That's why I love mn - it seems more honest!