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Original poster

WWYD? Feel so sad for my DS

13 replies

lollipoppi · 30/09/2013 10:39

My DS has his 3rd birthday coming up, this will be his first party and he is super excited!

I asked nursery for a list of names that DS plays with to invite them

I noticed that a little boys name wasn't on the list who I know he plays with so I asked why, well apparently it was his birthday a few weeks ago and everyone in the class was invited apart from DS

So do I suck it up and invite him anyway or not?
I really don't want to leave this boy out as I think its unfair but then that's exactly what they did to DS

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DameDeepRedBetty · 30/09/2013 10:42

Did that little boy's parents send an invite that didn't reach you?

You could of course take moral high ground and invite entire class, this time ensuring the invitation is physically put in every parent's hand...

FetchezLaVache · 30/09/2013 10:43

I'd leave him out tbh. Not sure what, if anything, is behind this, but there was a reason the nursery left the boy off the list (and were obviously trying to be tactful). Given that your DS was the only child not invited to his party, the parents can hardly take you to task over leaving this child out! Has your DS particularly said that he wants him to come?

AnythingNotEverything · 30/09/2013 10:43

Could he have been left out by accident? If your DS wants him there then that's what matters.

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noddyholder · 30/09/2013 10:45

Your son is 2 did he tell you that? How did you know they were all invited. When my son was 4 he told a girl in his class he was buying her a horse for her birthday they talk gibberish. Invite him anything else is petty

Quangle · 30/09/2013 10:46

Don't think the nursery should second guess this for you. DS plays with this boy so invite him. Most likely DS wasn't invited in error but even if there's another reason, it's certainly not your DS's issue - or yours. So ignore and invite and don't feel sad.

Beechview · 30/09/2013 10:46

why is that? Can you ask nursery to clarify it? I would. I'd just ask if there are any issues between the children and you'd rather they were honest about it.

If there are no issues and it was just an oversight, then I'd invite him.

tiktok · 30/09/2013 10:46

Ask the nursery if there is anything behind it.

If the only 'thing' is that your ds was not invited to the party, then just invite the little boy....who knows why your ds was not invited, it could have been an error.

They're three, for heavens sake. Just invite the whole lot of them!

Gipfeli · 30/09/2013 10:49

If your son plays with the boy and would like him to come then invite him. Whether or not your son was invited to the boy's party is irrelevant.

And I would be cross with the staff for taking it upon themselves to consider this when I had asked for a list of who my son plays with, not a list of who they thought I should invite to the party.

OneStepCloser · 30/09/2013 10:52

I would just invite them all, Im sure it was just a mistake. (but Id be hurt aswell)

alwaysonmymind · 30/09/2013 10:52

I would invite the little boy if that's what your son wants - its his party and he has to be happy.
It is hard when you hear about your DS or DD being left out. It does feel very personal. My DD2 was the only girl not invited to a joint party that 2 girls in the class were having. Friends were says "But all the girls got an invite" , yes but mine didn't. Turned out she had been missed off the list. One of the mums apologised after but my DD was so sad.
Your little boy , presumably, doesn't know about this other party so go for what will make him happy. It might have been an oversight but these things begin to happen when they go to school and nursery.
I hope your DS has a great day

Original poster

lollipoppi · 30/09/2013 10:55

My SIL works at the nursery and DS name was put on the list, but he didn't get an invite from the parents.

I've asked DS if he likes to play with little boy and he says yes, I'm going to invite him, I don't think I could leave him out it seems so cruel. If he doesn't come then so be it

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mummyxtwo · 30/09/2013 11:42

Yes I would invite him. I can't imagine it was anything other than an error on the part of the parents of the other boy for not inviting your ds to his party. It's perhaps different if your ds and the other boy are constantly fighting but you'd expect the nursery to have let you know about that if there was an issue between them. I have never met a parent who would be cruel enough to leave out one solitary child and invite everyone else. The nursery should have queried it with the other parents and asked if they meant to leave out your ds - that is what happened in ds1's reception class recently when one boy didn't get invited to a party and all the other children did. The mum who had given in the invitations to be distributed by the teacher was horrified as she thought she had invited everyone. If there is some odd reason why the other parents didn't invite your ds then they probably won't come to your ds's party. At the age of 2 I can't imagine any good reason though - other than repeated hitting, which the nursery should have informed you of. Don't stoop to their level, or what you perceive to be their level (although most likely a genuine error) by leaving the other boy out. Slightly odd behaviour of the nursery, I have to say.

mummyxtwo · 30/09/2013 11:46

The only other reason I can think of, is that they had limited numbers. But really as a parent you have to consider these things beforehand - you can't leave out one child, so if you can't fit the whole class into the party venue then you need to either book elsewhere or rethink who you're inviting. Just boys or just girls is deemed acceptable, or a select few but certainly not the majority so that just a few are left out. If the parents were that thoughtless they need to wise up to children's party etiquette sharpish!

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