New baby and a kitten. Am I mad?

[Bodicea]

Pets doesn't attract enough footfall so trying on here.
So my beloved siberian cat has recently passed away. I am 33 weeks pregnant. We planned to get another siberian cat/ kitten some time next year as our house is not a home without a cat ( we want a siberian as they are a low allergy breed and I have allergies). We enquired with a local breeder but found out that she has my cat's niece who has just been mated. We were so excited about the prospect of a kitten that had a direct bloodline to our lovely cat we immediately put down a deposit for one of her litter. Eek!
Our baby will be about ten weeks old when we get the kitten. Everyone is saying we are mad. I think it is fine as our cat was not much trouble and the breed is fabulous with children, but then I haven't much experience with kittens ( or babies for that matter). We got our cat as an older adult.
Am I mad? Does anyone have and advice about making a smoother transition. Will it be too much?

I don't think you are mad. With a small baby, you will probably be home a lot and will be able to cater for your kitten.

Our cats were just over a year when we bought DC1 home from hostpital. They learned very quickly he was top dog, and they were to go no where near his moses basket/cot etc.

The only problems we have ever had, is now they are 16 and DD is 8yo, and thinks she can lug them around like babies. The boy cat has had to let her know this is not acceptable.

(Meant kindly) YABU

Babies are monumentally life-changing and I think it would be unfair on a cat to put him/her into that situation when you are likely to barely have the energy to do much other than baby are, eating and sleeping, let alone find time to settle in a cat. IKWYM about homes and cats but you need to wait.

Hope all goes well with the baby

I got a kitten when dd was newborn I found he helped with the long sleepless nights and also I like to think my dd will grow up with him :) goodluck with birth/newborn/kitten

Kittens aren't a huge bother for long, go for it. I was 4 months old when my parents got a 4 month old kitten. I loved that cat and we grew up with a really strong bond.

I wouldn't do it. I loved my cat very much and could never imagine not living him as much when ds was born... But once ds (and now dd) were born I found they needed so much of me and my time that I resented the fact that my cat also wanted some of my time. It's hard to tell now how you will cope with a newborn and if it'll be an easy baby or a difficult one. If you don't have help, it may be too muh to commit yourself to... Maybe stick with the deposit but forgo it if it looks like you can't handle both baby and new kitten?

I wouldn't personally. If it were me I would know that the house and the kitten would probably suffer due to having insufficient time and energy to train it. I spent ages playing with our 2 when they were little to socialise them into the household and put in a lot of effort. I could not have done that when ds was so small. He was a very easy baby, but most of my time was spent on him. Our cats were about a year old then and were absolutely brilliant around him, but they were slightly neglected by me in those first few months in terms of love and affection. I was too tired and grumpy.

I felt, like you, that a house is not a home without a cat. However when I had my babies I really went off my cat. I didn't want to feed her and clean up after her, I resented her for taking time away from my baby. She did not react well to my daughter coming along, she used her bed and my sofa as a toilet, I was close to trying to rehome her. She would hide from the children but insist on sitting on me when they were in bed and I was frankly all touched out and didn't want her affection.

Now the babies are older I'm getting along better with my cat. The cat still won't be in the room with my 3 year old, but did yesterday tolerate my 5 year old stroking her briefly.

If it was me, I'd wait and introduce a cat I knew was able to cope with children. I've never had a breed cat though, maybe knowing the bloodline will make it a safer mover wrt to getting on with the baby.

Yes, not mad, but very unfair to that kitten.

I don't want to sound patronising, i really don't, but you cannot begin to imagine how your life may be about to change. Some people have easy babies - feed every 2 hours, for half an hour, sleep between feeds to begin, wake every 2-3 hours at night for half an hour or so each time. Little crying, takes to feeding easily and only 8-10 nappy changes a day. Even with this you will be tired.

Dc1 was a tricky baby. He would not be put down at all in the daytime for over 6 months (yes, months), he napped on me, screamed in the buggy or car and woke every 45 mins for 5 months at night. A good night was when I had 4 hours broken sleep. I was tired beyond what you currently think is even survivable. And he cried so much, which broke my heart.

You cannot know what sort of baby you will get and IME you cannot influence it with routines etc. You just have to suck it up. If you are lucky enough to instantly bond with your baby you will care about very little else for a while, the love is phenomenal.

A kitten will require attention. You will have days you won't even know if you've brushed your teeth let alone fed and played with a new kitten.

I love cats. Our own died sadly when dc2 was just 5 weeks old. She was a much easier baby but there was no question of having a new kitten until dd is older.

IMHO it would be unkind to the kitten to do this until you know what you're facing. I'm sure the breeder will breed her again at a later stage?

Good luck with the end of your pg and early motherhood OP, it's amazing.

Gosh conflicting advice. The breed is very good with kids - my cat would just sit there while being poked and prodded - once dragged halfway across a room by his fur and barely reaceted! Gutted he is gone I had trained him not to go upstairs and everything. He was baby ready!!!
The baby would be here first so I can't see there being any jealousy issues. And the breeder makes sure they are litter trained and socialised - we don't get it for 12 weeks.
I get what some people are saying about having time for the kitten. But if I wasn't on mat leave I would be at work all day and it would be in the house on its own for long periods. At least this way I might have a bit of time for cuddles in between feeds. I like what some of you are saying about growing up with it [GRIN].
My husband doesn't want to pass up the chance of a relative of our cat. She is getting pretty old now and might not have another litter. Am I doing a good job of convincing you/myself??

Personally I would wait 6 months minimum. I can understand the emotions surrounding why you want a related cat but as you say its the 'breed' that is good with kids etc, not necessarily that particular cat.

We recently lost a cat so I feel your pain, but we have decided to wait. It would be unfair to the kitten and the extra work it would involve like changing litter trays, making sure the kitten has been fed enough etc when all you want to do it sleep, breast feed etc could be overwhelming in the early months.

6 months will fly by and both you and the baby will be settled then (hopefully) so you can properly enjoy a new kitten.

We (well I) got a kitten when dd was 8mo and its been working really well. I clear up enough poo as it is so its just a bit more clearing up to do, and I've been at home to take care of him too. He and dd play together which is v sweet, and she is learning to be careful and gentle with animals. He has a lovely nature and is amazing and even though he gets pulled around doesn't scratch or bite.

I did wait though until dd was a bit older rather than getting a kitten with a newborn. Dd is pretty robust now but I might have been a lot more protective when she was teeny.

Go for it!

I had a newborn, 2 dogs & 2 horses. The horses meant that from 5 days old my ds went to the stables every morning & evening to watch me muck out etc. We're still doing the same 6 months on. In fact I was mucking out when I went into labour.

No trouble what so ever with the dogs. They're fine with the baby & I just pop him in a sling to walk them.

I think it's nice for children to grow up with animals; none of my nieces/nephews did & they're now all terrified of dogs, cats any animal really.

Its your life. You will always get conflicting advice. Personally I grew up with animals and have 6 cats myself ranging for 2 - 19 (Ragdoll, part Bengal and the rest are heniz 57 varieties)! DD has just turned 1 and loves them / finds them hysterical. Now they either tolerate her or get out of her way! They can be a pain, and im sure your kitten will be testing at times but thats life.

Good Lord, it's a kitten!

Yes, babies can hard work, but lots of people manage to have babies and do all sorts of things as well. I got married when DC1 was 12 weeks old. And in those days you couldn't do internet shopping, so it was all footwork to find bridesmaids dresses, shoes, tiaras etc.

I think while you are on maternity leave is the ideal time to get a kitten. Leaving a young kitten alone all day while you are at work would be much less ideal.

I already had my cats when I had my first baby, and yes they did stop being my babies first priority once I had a real one. If you do change your mind,once your baby is born you lose your deposit. Not the end of the world. It's not like you are bringing the kitten home on the day you give birth.

I'm in the 'you're mad' camp (although said kindly and with full understanding of how lovely cats are to have around). I have a cat who is from a supposedly chilled out, easy breed, and she is terrified of my DS. I also found I had less time for 2 cats (one died recently) when he was a tiny newborn. And I never thought I'd say that. But I felt I was already up to my elbows in shit and resented the cats' contribution to that, IYSWIM?

It's a bit better now but surviving cat still spends her life hiding from DS It's just impossible to know what your baby will be like, what temperament the cat will have, and whether they'll get on.

Thanks for all your advice guys. Head is telling me bad idea. Heart telling me go for it. Think we will put rest of deposit down when kitten is born and then if we do have a nightmare with baby we will look at our options then. At worst we lose our deposit which in grand scheme of things is not a big deal. I knew I was really mad when started considering two to keep each other Entertained. Unfortunately financially that is not an option at the mo! Maybe in another year......