When to start to try a routine?

[SheldorAFK]

Ds is 5 weeks old and basically has no routine - bf on demand (he usually demands it every 3 or so hours in the day) and his day consists of taking is big sister t various groups and activities - if he has he naps, but most of the time he will scream until bedtime. Every other day I do a top and tail before his last feed.

Around 9pm he seems to eventually settle for the night, waking 1-2 times before getting up at 5am for the day.

I vowed not to make the same "mistakes" as if did with dd (2) - holding / feeding to sleep, no routine, not letting her self settle - jumping to the slightest sound she makes. Dd only had a routine as such around 5-6 months.

Should I try to implement a routine, or continue in this manner? I wouldn't know whee to begin with an implemented routine as he's bf on demand and doesn't sleep - as I said before, his routine consists of screaming all day out of exhaustion. Yesterday he woke a 4am for the day, went to bed at 9.30pm and napped for 1 hr the entire day. As I have a toddler I don't have the luxury of spending my entire day trying to get him to sleep as I did with dd.

He sounds really badly over tired DS was exactly the same I've always had to make him sleep he won't just fall asleep on his own, he's 19mo now and I still have to manage his naps or he's a nightmare. I didn't have a routine as in nap and 10 and 2 bed at 7 I went by the rule that he needed to sleep 2-3 hours after he last woke up so if he woke at 7 he would nap about 9.30 but if he slept until 9 he would nap about 11.30, bedtime also depended on when he last slept. He would wake usually between 6.30 and 8.30 and bed at the same time I fed on demand too. Once we went to bed I didn't bring him out of his room or put lights on or talk until the morning which a classed as 11 - 12 hours after he went to bed.

Google over tiredness in babies I found a lot of helpful things, It does kind of take over your life when you have a baby who doesn't like to sleep.

I started with routine (vague EASY baby whisperer one) at about 8weeks - aim for a nap every hour

Dd is 5m and her only routine really is to attempt sleep if she's been awake for 2-2.5hours in the day, by whatever means (feeding/car/buggy/sling) and crucially a bedtime routine of bath, stories with her brother, bf and bed.

DS is 3.3 and like you our day and DDs "routine" revolves around DS's needs. Poor DD gets shipped from pillar to post with nursery pick ups, play dates, appts, shopping etc.

Nights are pretty good with just 3 wake ups usually.

I would strongly recommend reading the no cry sleep solution now rather than waiting. Has some good advice to v gently avoid the feed to sleep and nothing else will work route. And general sleep advice, suitable from now.

IMO there's no point instituting a strict routine if you can't stick to it due to your elder child's needs. At that age I would attempt to get him to sleep within 2 hours of previous waking, even if showing no signs of tiredness. A sling may be your friend.

May also be worth getting him checked to make sure it isn't something else bothering him like reflux. That's a lot of crying for him and for you to cope with.

Good luck. It gets better, keep reminding yourself that. The time really does fly the second time around.

Think mine was about 10 weeks when we introduced a schedule. Basically feeds every three hours with an hours nap before it. So it's hour nap, 30 min feed, 90 mins of playtime. She's pretty easy going though so that made it easier.