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Parenting

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Original poster

Longest minute of my life :(

36 replies

Hulababy · 17/02/2004 19:05

What a nightmare. Took 22mo DD to Leeds for day today and had lunch in Debenhams cafe. She was playing with the ELC toys on a little table in the cafe and I was sat watching her - very close. She then had a peek behind a partioning wall so I calle dher back. But then she decided to go behind the wall. I got up and went to the other side to grab her but when I got there she'd disappeared entirely. I look around and she was nowehere to eb seen. I asked people queing for food as that was where the wall was next to and the counter/till girl but no one said they'd see her. So starting panicing (as you do) and calling her. Another assistant relasised and called some kitchen staff out to look too. Then a lady from the shop floor came in with DD asking who she belonged too. She'd been heading out the cafe across the shop. She'd only been out of sight no longer than 60 seconds but it felt like a lifetime.

I couldn't stop shaking, but packed up and left embarrassed and relieved. Headed straight to enarest toilets elsewhere still shaking, bursat into tears and was really sick Dreaded telling DH later but luckily he was fine about it and more concerned about me.

Really annoying thing is was that DD must have had to walk by a whole queue of customers (quite busy) o get out yet no one said they saw her, or tried to stop her.

Just needed to get it off my chest - thanks for listening.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

suzywong · 17/02/2004 19:06

Blimey.
You poor thing

zebra · 17/02/2004 19:07

I wish I didn't have half a dozen stories like that, Hulababy. Glad it turned out fine.

GeorginaA · 17/02/2004 19:11

Hulababy

Ds was a bit younger than that when he used to love playing hide and seek (unencouraged) among the clothing rails in Mothercare. One time he did it while I was looking at something or other, turned around and couldn't find him.

Again, I must have found him in under a minute but I still remember now the complete terror and all the worst-case scenarios that ran through my brain.

That's my long winded way of saying "been there, you have my sympathy and hugs"

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LadyCodworth · 17/02/2004 19:11

and me zeb
Ikea loos

twiglett · 17/02/2004 19:13

message withdrawn

sobernow · 17/02/2004 19:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Hulababy · 17/02/2004 19:15

Thanks all, for making me feel a bit less guilty and that there wasn't anything (really practically) I could have done. It is just so scary - she is staying firmly in her pushchair or highchair for a few days at least until I got over it.

OP posts:

sobernow · 17/02/2004 19:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

suzywong · 17/02/2004 19:18

Oh you're right there's nothing more you could have done, we all know how focused you are. They just leg it every now and then don't they. Especially in crowded places and near busy roads

Issymum · 17/02/2004 19:24

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request

Zerub · 17/02/2004 19:31

DH temporarily lost dd (aged about 18mo) in Tescos like that - one minute she's playing with the car-trolley thing and he's paying for the shopping, the next she's gone. She was brought back by a lady who'd found her in the cafe (which is by the checkouts). Scary isn't it - I mean I was scared and I didn't know about it until afterwards!

The next day I discovered that the lady was a friend of mine (who had never met dh) - dd had spotted her and gone over to say hello!

Kayleigh · 17/02/2004 19:31

oh Hulababy, know that feeling only too well. It really does only take a second doesn't it.
At least she was found pretty quickly, but probably not quick enough for your liking.
Poor you.

HiddenSpirit · 17/02/2004 19:41

Yep know the feeling too Hulababy, lost DS1 in an indoor play area (quite a big one) a year and a half ago. Felt exactly the same way as you, only one of the attendants was subjected to me bursting into tears.

Same happened in M&S to my sister with my nephew (I was there too and he still managed to get lost!) and she was the exact same.

Pacific · 17/02/2004 19:46

Hulababy, I have had this too. I don't think you can ever get over it. I had two bad episodes, one where DS took off on his little trike and was missing for 25 minutes.....there were four police cars cruising around looking for him. The next time, we were in a department store several stories high, I turned away for a split second, turned back just in time to see him in the lift, doors closing and he got whisked away to goodness knows where. The store detectives were running around crazy but we got him back in one piece.

Big hugs to you and your DD

Slinky · 17/02/2004 20:03

Hulababy - big {{hugs{}}} for you!

As the others have said, happens to all of us at some point - and it is the most hideous feeling.

Summer 2002, coming back from France - we "lost" DS1 (then 4) on the boat. Unfortunately, on the crossing back we didn't have a cabin so were "hanging" around the boat. I took DD1 to the toilet, leaving DS1 and DD2 with DH. DH was talking to DD2, not noticing that DS1 had gone. DH thought that I took DS1 to the toilet with me.

It wasn't until I came back with DD1 that we both realised that the other hadn't got him

I stayed where we were sitting, whilst DH went off to look for him. As we were sitting by "Reception" I spoke to the Head Stewardess - well screamed at her really! She LAUGHED, saying oh this sort of thing happens all the time!!!" She then put a tannoy out saying "would XXXXXXX XXXXXXX please come to Deck 7" - I almost had her by the throat at this point - how the hell would a 4yo boy know where Deck 7 was - I didn't know!!!!

I was screaming at people "didn't they notice a little 4yo crying???". By now, lots of parents started looking and shouting for him. One dad was an absolute star and sat holding my hand, whilst his wife looked after my other 2 children.

All I kept thinking was that he'd fallen overboard as just before he went missing, DH had taken the older 2 up on deck.

Finally after 20 minutes, DH came back with him. He had wandered into the bar area and was playing on a car arcade game!!! Because he wasn't crying/sobbing, no-one thought anything of it!! He didn't realise he was lost - was just attracted by the games.

Needless to say, summer 2003 - I booked cabins for both journeys and practically held him hostage in them!!

stupidgirl · 17/02/2004 20:06

It's a horrible feeling that, isn't it. I think we've all been there, you're certainly not alone. xxx

Angeliz · 17/02/2004 20:47

Hulababy, hope you are calmer now and feel a bit better!
I've felt that awful sinking heart thing for a few seconds at the museum once when dd went round the back of a stand and then dissapeared!
(we walked round in circles round the stand and missed each other!!!!)

ponygirl · 17/02/2004 21:10

Yes, me too, Hulababy. Lost dd in H&M for about 1 minute (just going round displays in circles and missing each other). It felt like forever and just reading your post (and others) I can remember that dry-mouthed, cold-sweat, sick panic. Then she caught up with me grinning and laughing and I thought I was going to pee myself with relief. It really does seem to happen to most of us. Hope you're OK now.

emsiewill · 17/02/2004 22:17

Just wanted to add my story to the list to reassure you that it does happen to us all.
Last year in Disneyland Paris, dd2 (3 at the time), went missing when we were in one of the shops. Same thing of not paying attention for a minute, and then she was gone. While dh went to the lost children place (and that was the only thing that kept me sane; that they would be geared up for this sort of thing - and they were), dd1 and I scoured the shop, and after about 2 minutes, dd2 turned up safe and well, with an English woman who had noticed her looking worried and asked her if she was lost. The funny thing was was that when the lady asked her what I look like, she said "she's got her hair in a bobble". And that is obviously my most identifying feature!

Slinky · 17/02/2004 22:23

Emsiewill

Your "hair in a bobble" comment reminded me - we had to give a description of DS.

I said he was wearing a particular colour shorts/t-shirt etc - when he came back he was wearing something totally different!

First thing I said when he came back was "b**dy hell, he wasn't wearing what I said he was!!".

eidsvold · 18/02/2004 08:52

Sorry you had such a horrible experience. I have been the child. My mother constantly reminds me of the time I wandered off whilst she was shopping in a big department store in the city ( in Aus) She and store staff were searching frantically. They finally found me sitting at a dressing table playing pretend ... make up , doing hair etc in the furniture section not very far from where my mum had been looking at a new bed for me. I was not worried or upset but rather enjoying myself which makes it worse for mum.SHe tells me I will never know what it felt like until it happens to me.

I still do it - when dh and I are off places something catches my eye and I tend to wander off looking at it. WHen we were on holiday in Sydney - dh bought be a bright orange hat ( stylish but bright) and insisted I wear it so that if I wandered off he could easily find me as it used to drive him nuts.

Angeliz · 18/02/2004 08:54

My dp's family have this special whistle they do if anyone gets lost! (Their dad used it when they were little-5 kids). I used to laugh at it but now when we go to Makro or something i often follow the whistle

FairyMum · 18/02/2004 08:55

Been there too. Once went on the tube leaving DD behind on Earl's court station. She was 4.....

Original poster

Hulababy · 18/02/2004 08:58

Thank you everyone. Feel much clamer today, enough to venture out again. Off to what was Pet's Corner but maybe keeping DD on riens today too

OP posts:

marialuisa · 18/02/2004 09:01

Hope you're feeling better hulababy. I was a nightmare for wandering off, always managed to get lost in m&S as a child, and on one occasion wandered happily around a small town for over an hour when i was 4. it was very familiar so I wasn't at all bothered. my mum was going mental though.

We recently lost DD on a trip to Sainsbury's. i made the fatal mistake of telling DH to watch her whilst i nipped back for something. When I returned to the checkout she was nowhere to be seen. She was brought back to customer services by a lady who'd found her crying outside McDonalds. Problem was that the McDonalds was about 500m away on the other side of an extremely busy car park, buses in and out, lorries...

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