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Parenting

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Original poster

New mum in need of advice!

17 replies

Hayls · 17/02/2004 15:16

DD is nearly 3 weeks old and I need some advice from some experienced parents!

DD won't sleep in her moses basket. If she does stay asleep when I put her in she inevitably wakes up soon afterwards. The only place she'll sllep for any long period is in beed with me, which I worry about after all the recent press but most nights it's the only way I can sleep (she doesn't go under the duvet)

I think she has colic. She gets distressed when trying to fill her nappy or pass wind, going red in the face and bringing her legs up. Does it sound like colic and what can I do? I mentioned it to the HV but she only suggested that I was feeding too often and she was getting too much gassy fore milk.

Finally (sorry) after a long and traumatic ventouse delivery we've decided to take her to a cranial osteopath- has anybody got any experience/ advice?

TIA for saving my sanity

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ponygirl · 17/02/2004 15:22

Hello Hayls, congratulations on your dd. All three of mine hated the moses basket, my third lasted about a week. When they startled, or moved, they kept hitting the sides of the basket, so I put them into a proper cot. They also spent a lot of time in with me, as long as you're careful about over heating I'm sure you'll be fine. I'm afraid I don't know about the colic, tho' ds1 probably had it with hindsight, nothing I could think of doing helped. It just went away about 3 months. I'm sure you'll get some good advice here!

hercules · 17/02/2004 15:23

All perfectly normal and it is impossible to overfeed a breast fed baby. My dd is 4 months and still wont sleep for vry long in her moses basket. With regards cosleeping there have been lots of comments here previously and there is o good web site here \linkwww.babyfriendly.org.uk/press.asp#160104
Sorry cant do links. It basically says breastfeeding mothers naturally adopt a protective position when cosleeping and the benefits to bf far outway any risks.
Mears and tiktok are the best people to get advice on for your questions.

Blackduck · 17/02/2004 15:23

Sounds like my ds...I said he had 'cot sensors' (you know like car bumper sensors....) As soon as you got anywhere near it he would wake up. I have to say persevere, she is still v. young...Try putting something of yours ont he base of the basket (jumper - whatever..) that smells of you....Also try infracol - worked a treat with ds..

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wobblyknicks · 17/02/2004 15:24

Don't know if it will help but I had loads of trouble getting dd to sleep in her crib when she was that age and I found that she'd sleep in her baby rocker much easier, seemed to be because she was sitting up a little bit rather than just being flat. She still made quite a fuss but a lot less than in the crib. I kept trying her in the crib in the day and at about 6 weeks she decided to sleep in the crib.

Also, if she has colic, have you tried giving Infacol before each feed? I found that worked quite well. Gripe water worked even better but I seem to remember you can't use that from birth, so I'm not sure when you can.

oliveoil · 17/02/2004 15:25

My dd didn't like the moses basket either, only reallly went in for naps in the day. At night I did what you do - had her next to me in bed. I tucked the quilt under me and she slept next to me (away from snoring dh) and like you, it was the only way for me to get through those hard first few weeks(months!).

Don't have any advice on colic/cranial osteopath but someone on here will.

SenoraPostrophe · 17/02/2004 15:27

Hi Hayls, I was wondering how you were getting on!

I don't feel comfortable co-sleeping either, and ds has been a bit more difficult in that department than dd was so I know how you feel. Things that work for me are:

when she wakes up in her Moses basket, try just cooing and stroking her, rather than getting her up.
if that doesn't work, you could try a dummy (you may have to put it back in several times before she goes to sleep)
a sleeping bag or swaddling also helps
when ds is really unsettled, I find the only thing that works is putting him to sleep on his belly. I don't do this all the time, but sometimes needs must.

Has she ever slept in her Moses basket, or is this a new problem? If a new problem, it could be colic, though that does tend to result in crying for long periods at particular times of day. Either way, you can help wind by massaging her tummy and raising her legs up so her knees are on her chest. Colic remedies are rubbish!

BTW I think the HV could be right - have you tried feeding her on one breast at a time (so she gets more hind milk)?

Hope something in there helps. It's a bit of a trial and error process, this parenting malarkey!

hercules · 17/02/2004 15:31

how often are you feeding her? I thought that with a baby this age whose stomach is very small and breastmilk is very quickly digested would need lots of feeds. Agree about one breast at each feed.

SenoraPostrophe · 17/02/2004 15:41

Just remembered another thing - when he does his fantastic feed-sleep-feed-sleep marathons, I sometimes find I can get him back to sleep just by laying him on my chest - then he settles. I agree that you can't overfeed a breastfed baby, but sometimes when they cry, they're not actually hungry (though they might think they are, iyswim)

benjaminsmum · 17/02/2004 16:02

try colief for the colic it worked wonders for my six week old. we also had a vontuse birth and visited a cranial osteapath. she was brilliant and i think it helped as his head was obviously lopped sided and is now nice and round. it is hard to tell because you cant do it again without. worth ago though, anything that may make them happier!

Original poster

Hayls · 17/02/2004 16:10

Thanks for your advice. I do only feed from one breast per feed but they can go on fir quite some time as she often falls asleep durung a feed and doesn't wake up to continue for 10-15 mins (even with me tickling or annoying her). She normally goes about 2 hours between feeds and slightly longer during the night but for the past day she's been a lot hungrier more often, which I assumed was due to a growth spurt and am waiting for my milk production to catch up.
This isn't a new problem as she hasn't ever slept properly in the basket. Every night i vow that she will but I normally fall asleep with her and can't rouse myself to move her. Is it wprthwhile trying her in the cot?

BTW she's snuggled up on my shoulder fast asleeo and I can feel rumblings throgh her nappy- is this a good sign for the colic?

Senorapostrophe, hope you're doing OK.

This parenting lark is stressful!

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SecondhandRose · 17/02/2004 16:40

You could try swaddling so she doesn't thrash her arms about, it also makes them feel more secure. I don't know what the current safety idea is on that though.

In my experience a new born baby spends about as much time being winded as being fed. Try some different techniques like keeping the baby still but going up on your tiptoes and down again firmly. Also just try stroking in an upwards direction.

You could also try rubbing her tummy in a clockwise direction and doing cycling movements with her legs (IYKWIM). Both to help with wind.

Put some clothing of yours on her or lie her on a t-shirt you have been wearing so she has your smell close to her. This may help to settle her.

If it helps at all, every day will get better and easier and by the time you have the next one you'll be an old hand and able to feed everyone, get washed and dressed and go on the school run. You'll be just fine. Promise.

jimmychoos · 17/02/2004 16:45

Hi Hayls
I had a bad ventouse delivery with my DS and was recommended to try cranial osteopathy, just to check he hadn't been damaged by it. We went to the children's place in Harley Street - it's a charity and you make a donation when you have treatment. They found he had been adversely affected by his birth and we had four lots of treatment. It was a lovely experience - it seems to calm babies almost immediately and he was always very still and smiley during the session, then slept very soundly afterwards. Anyway, he was an extremely calm and contented baby and I think the CO helped that.

It doesn't sound as if your baby has colic to me -she's still very tiny and her digestive system is just getting going. Lots of babies get very upset when they poo in the first few weeks - it's a big change for them and they have to get used to it....

I'm sure things will settle - it's very early days.

SenoraPostrophe · 17/02/2004 17:14

Cot might work - you could put it next to the bed so she can see you.

Have you tried putting a t-shirt or something you have been wearing in the moses basket so it smells of you? just a thought. Also babies do usually have a growth spurt at about 3 weeks so you are probably right there.

SenoraPostrophe · 17/02/2004 17:17

sorry, secondhandrose has already suggested that. My brain still hasn't recovered from pregnancy obviously

aloha · 17/02/2004 22:00

My ds hated his moses basket. Vastly preferred his cot, funnily enough, which we transferred him to in between/as well as sleep in in bed with us. The risks are minimal so don't worry. All the rest sounds normal. They say don't feed so often, but I never worked out how.

Dmum · 17/02/2004 22:24

Sorry you're having a hard time I totally sympathise with you. My ds too had a difficult birth - 3 weeks early, very quick dilation, stuck in birth canal, ventouse delivery, jaundice, antibiotics for Strep B. He basically spent the 1st few months of his life crying and screaming and couldn't sleep for any length of time. He was averaging around 8-10 hours of sleep a day!! My DH and I were desperate and tried cranial osteopathy as a last resort. After the 2nd treatment he slept 10 hours straight through!! I definitely think it works. BTW, the osteopath we see thinks colic is a symptom rather than a condition. I can tell you more about if it if you're interested. Let me know

Original poster

Hayls · 18/02/2004 17:50

Thanks Dmum, I'd really lie as much info as possible! DD has been a bit more settled this afternoon but spent most of the morning (from 6am) crying, feeding then sleeping for a while. I still think she might be having a growth spurt and my milk production is struggling to catch up. We're going to see the osteopath tomorrow so fingers crossed.

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