Dad's rough & tumble too rough?

[Nanny2013]

I occasionally look after a lovely 3 year old boy. His Dad is quite outgoing and plays 'fun' fights with him, probably thinking that as he is a boy he can't be too soft. I have however seen him pick up the child by one ankle and throw him onto the sofa. The child went quiet, and looked a little stunned for a few seconds, but then became very boisterous with his father and it ended with tantrums, and then reprimands. There was a lot of shouting, and chaos, which was obviously having an effect on the boy's Mother who has not been well and needs time to recover. Is this normal father/son playfighting, or have I got cause for concern? I do worry too that this child will act out this kind of behaviour on children who are much smaller than himself. Whilst we do want our children to grow up to be confident and able to stand up for themselves, this seems to me that he is learning antisocial behaviour. There is also the potential of dangerous consequences to him, or to any other small child that he 'plays' with in the same way.

There is a very fine line between rough and tumble/play fighting and going too far. My DH does similar with throwing DCs on our bed or turning them upside down, which I know sounds awful but the DCs love it and its never too rough just play. FWIW they've never done anything similar with or to each other or children. They know not to fight, even play fighting, with anyone else.

If the boy looked stunned though I'd say its a bit too rough. I don't know what you could do though other than say something to the dad. Definitely keep an eye on it when you can.

The whole point of rough play is that the dc and parents discover where the boundaries lie. You see it a lot in the animal world where cubs will nip that bit too hard and the other retaliates or retreats to lick his wounds. It's fine as long as the dc is fine with it, but it sounds like the line was crossed on this occasion.