Talk to me about living in rural areas with very young children

[blushingmare]

We currently live in West London, but have been planning a move to a more rural area and excitingly it now seems to be happening!

However, just as we should be getting excited, I'm starting to feel a bit wobbly about if this is really what we should be doing.

The house we would be moving to is in a hamlet with no shops, although there's a decent sized town 15 minutes drive away. It's located on a bridleway and the roads around there are certainly not buggy friendly - ie. no pavements.

We have a 16mo dd and I am pregnant with dc2. I've really appreciated being in London and having a wealth of baby groups on my doorstep and great parks to push the buggy round to get dd off to sleep and I'm just wondering how things will be without all of that, although I know you probably do things quite differently with a toddler in tow in any case!

We know we want to have more of a rural life. Both DH & I were brought up in the country ourselves and want to have that for our children. I think I'm just getting slightly panicky now

Can anyone give me an insight into life in the country with 2 under 2?!

We live in a village with one useless shop although there is a primary school and a lovely village hall with bar. The community is fab, when DDs were small (we moved here when DD1 was newborn, now we have 2 DDs 6 and 4) I got involved with the local toddler group, then preschool and now PTA (and Village Hall along the way), I was lucky though that I wasn't working so could give this stuff my time. You do need to get involved but I couldn't live anywhere busier now. DD has been cycling to school (with me following on my bike) since she was 5, and they can both scoot on the bits of road with no pavement without me worrying about them getting run over. It's a small community so all the kids know each other and keep an eye out for each other, and being so surrounded by nature is great for them. In short, it's brilliant, you'll love it and so will they :) xx

I live on a brideway and in a very small hamlet with no footpaths. Nearest small town is 5 minutes away by car. You won't want to hear this, but unless you want to be a Hermit, you live in the car! We have no pub or shop but we do have a community hall. My children hated it here as no-one to play with. Also riding bicycles not remotely safe. You will need to make friends somehow so join as much as possible. I would rather live in London or a larger town, not in the middle of nowhere as there is so little to do on the doorstep, so to speak. You have to like your own company in the country and we have not really found any true friends in our hamlet although DH and I were born only 15 miles from here. We are country people. If you want the "good life" you will be fine but I like shops, cafes, chat, and all the things you talk about. I can't walk to any of that but the dog has a nice variety of walks. Schools were ok too and you do get a place in one. We made a lot of use of our garden and tried to have children round to play as much as possible but my children couldn't just walk round to a friend's house to play as they didn't live here. We did toddler singing, nursery and mother and toddler group at a church hall but everyone seemed to know each other already. I hosted one of the summer "away play days" but only 2 people turned up. Decided to leave! I hope you are luckier!

I don't have 2 children, 1 DD who is 11 months, we live very rurally, on a farm 15mins drive from anything incl. neighbours! It's absolutely fine, you do have to accept that you need to drive everywhere and be organised with times etc &. Winter can be hard going. Just get a good off road buggy and make sure you force yourself to go out even when it seems a lot of effort & you'll be away :-)

Just accept that you drive everywhere, can never have a drink (because of driving), and as kids get older it gets worse - then you will feel fine!!! I think that is the biggy - the kids friends will unlikely be within walking or biking distance so they have to be driven there. Likewise to clubs, parties etc. As they get older they seem to get a bit cross about being in the country as their friends walk into town from high school and to each others houses, but ours get on the bus to come home so cannot do that. I think it makes their friendships harder but that is a personal opinion and probably depends how willing you are to have their friends round night after night!

It just comes down to what you want. If it is the peace and quiet then you will get it more rurally. And dark skies and stars. I don't believe that you always get the sense of community in all rural areas anymore than not getting it in town. I know some areas of cities where there is a great sense of community and I know that round here you have to live here for at least 10 years before being accepted!!!

But really you know what you want. You say you lived rurally growing up so therefore deep down you know what you are going to. I think it is great with little kids, but gets harder as they get older. My kids hate not being safe to ride their bikes anywhere. The tractors drive really really fast down the lanes, and the cars speed along. We have had a number of tragedies locally due to this, and so nobody tends to cycle around anymore with kids.

We live rural on a farm .... car is a must , go to any baby groups you can for company for you and children
And buy an older .... Jane Slalom Pro pram ....

Oh also I grew up on the edge of a village so was one of those kids that needed driving everywhere. We had a really big garden though and I had 2 sisters to play with so I can't say I ever felt I particularly missed out. Think my parents just accepted that they were going to be our taxi service, then paid for us all to have driving lessons and let us use their cars so they didn't have to drive us any more! Also we cycled a lot to see friends in neighbouring villages when we were older (and I expect my kids to do the same here). I loved the space and dark skies and feel lucky to have grown up like that :o) I think as you both lived somewhere rural when you were growing up, you can have realistic expectations going forward and you'll love it.

We live in a village which is a bit bigger than where you are moving to as it has a primary school, pub and small shop. And village hall. The community is fab, I know all my neighbours and we look out for each other. My 70yo neighbour on one side came round at 1am to babysit ds1 when I went into labour with dd2. 15 minutes isn't a bad drive to your nearest town, and I find that a short drive can often be useful for dd2 dropping off to sleep when we go out somewhere, or just as a break from constant child entertainment. Do find out about mums and babies groups and make sure you don't isolate yourself, as you will have to make an effort to get out and meet people. Invest in a good baby carrier too so you can carry baby rather than having to use a buggy. I used a babybjorn for the first 6 months and then bought a littlelife one which goes on your back and is very comfy and dd2 likes it. Make sure you all have wellies and wet weather gear so you can play outdoors and get muddy! And a sledge for winter is a must - don't wait till it snows before you buy one or the shops will all have sold out! I think you'll be just fine although it'll probably feel strange and first and maybe a bit isolating, so you'll have to make sure you are proactive about meeting people and getting out and about.

We delayed moving out of London until our youngest was 3 for the very reasons you state.

London is so easy with babies and toddlers.