Did you teach your baby to self settle? If so, how?

[IWillOnlyEatBeans]

DS2 is 9 months old. BF but currently on a nursing strike.

Night times and nap times are a real ordeal and I am near breaking point!

Naptimes: needs up to 40 mins of rocking before he goes to sleep. Often wakes up when I put him down and the whole process has to start from scratch. Sleeps for 40 mins, sometimes longer. Has two naps per day.

Bed time: Used to feed to sleep. Lovely! Now he needs to be rocked for a good 15 mins. Wakes up 30 mins later for his one and only feed of the day. Settles back to sleep lovely after this and sleeps til 12 ish. Then he sleeps in 40 - 90 minute bursts, needing to be rocked back to sleep each time he wakes up - this can take up to an hour each time. So we are awake more than we are asleep.

He is teething (I think!) but cutting his first two teeth didn't result in this much disruption. Wonder weeks says we are in a sunny period!

I also have a 3.5 yr old DS1, who is getting impatient with me being tired and grouchy and listening to DS2 scream at naptimes and through the night.

PLEASE can someone advise me how to help DS2 settle?

Things which don't work:
Holding his hand/patting back etc in cot.
Ewan the Dream Sheep.
My tried-and-tested-with-DS1 sleep training method of letting him cry for slightly longer intervals, picking him up to calm and settle after 1,2,3,4 etc minutes (never longer than 10 mins crying).

What's left? I can't bear the thought of CC or CIO. Wait it out??

Thanks in advance

Am watching this for tips as dd is immune to all the tricks I used for the other dc.

CC - three nights. I found that this actually involved a hell of a lot less crying than the 'gentler approaches'

So if I am beside him and offering constant comfort then that is ok, even if he is really upset? I don't want to traumatise him! But also would quite like to sleep again one day...

My DS1 sounds quite similar he was a terrible sleeper and needed cuddling or feeding to sleep. His worst sleep problems were between 9 months - 14 months ish where we not only had hourly wake ups but he could also be up for hours in the middle of the night. Looking back I think this was to do with teething and separation anxiety. We tried everything from gentle methods (although he couldn't be comforted in the cot so this still involved a lot of crying) to CC at 12 months which did not work he would just cry for hours at every wake up. I still feel guilty about this.

Eventually we just gave in and co-slept from his first wake up after I had gone to bed. To be honest I wish I had done this sooner as he slept solidly once in bed with me and everyone was much happier. He is now 20 months and goes to sleep on his own in his bed and sleeps 12 hours straight through most nights, we didn't do anything to make this happen I think he just reached this stage developmentally.

I now have ds2 who is 3 months and on the whole a much better sleeper but I am not bothering with sleep training this time around and will just co-sleep if he has a bad night as long as it works.

Thank you, that is really reassuring. I don't think I have got it in me to do cc. I know I would cave in long before my baby boy!

We do co sleep but it doesn't make much difference unfortunately. Fingers crossed he grows out of it soon!