Getting 3 yo dd to accept bedtime?

[Choos123]

Dd (nearly 3) has recently figured out she can get out of bed, and is refusing to go to sleep until about 930pm (7 is usual bedtime) unless i go to bed with her and this takes ages as she's not a deep sleeper and often wakes up when i move. What strategies have you tried? Withdrawing or promising treats the next day is not working for us, also we'll take your favourite toy away for the day but she just says fine and continues to refuse to go to bed. Any advice appreciated...

Rapid return. Take her back, say "bedtime", put her in bed. Take her back, say nothing, put her in bed. Ad infinitum. She'll eventually get the message that it's not worth the effort of continuing to get up if you don't communicate with her.

Those strategies won't work because it's most likely she doesn't want to be alone. It's the age when fears etc kick in but they don't always have the words to tell you that. With ds we sat with him until he slept. Then one night we'd say we were just going to the toilet for one minute and once he was reassured, left the room for one minute exactly and came back and sat with him until he slept. Then the next night we did the same. Then subsequent nights increased the time so he got used to being left. We used to leave a little night light with him and he'd fall asleep by himself.

It's now gone awry as he shares with his younger sister now but will do something similar when ready!

Leave the door ajar with the landing light on but I agree with FlapJack. Explain that it is bedtime and she is going to bed. After that just keep putting back without any discussion, however tempted you are to discuss again, don't. It will be tedious for a while until she gets the message.

Thanks guys, I think we'll try the continual put back, I agree she doesn't like sleeping in her own but I don't have the time in the evenings to keep lying with her as when I've tried it I normally end up having to actually go to bed with her in fact to to get it to work, she sleeps lightly.

It will be a pain but worth it. The not interacting is the important thing- other than a bored, broken record sentence.

I agree with continual return without interaction. But ds 3.3 also has a tranquil turtle (sorry can't link on phone but sold at amazon) which is lovely and the lights/music combo really help him feel secure (afraid of dark ++) and he rarely gets up.

If he gets up he obv loses the turtle.

Harder parents than me would just put a gate on her door though!