Reassurance please? 15 month age gap.

[ShatterResistant]

I have a lovely 7 month old, and am 8 weeks pregnant. We did this deliberately, because we're both knocking on a bit, but I am a bit shocked to be pregnant again so quickly, as it took a while last time. My feeling is that it'll be bloody hard work with 2 such small children, but once the baby stage is over, it'll be lovely to have them so close in age, and hopefully they'll be firm friends and we'll have a lovely little family. Please reassure me that this is the case! Do you have a similar age gap? Could you tell me the good things?! TIA.

I have a 17 month age gap.
I won't lie, it was bloody hard at first, for many reasons (depression being one, it made everything seem harder than it should have been). But I got through it. They are now 1 (tomorrow!) and 2.5 and it's lovely to watch them play and laugh together and get into mischief together. They adore each otger, and always have, we didn't hat any jealousy issues with ds when dd was born.

My tips for getting through the early days:
::buy or make loads of pre-prepared meals towards the end of your pg, for yourself and elder child, so you have food available to just grab
::get some books and toys your elder child can play with independently whilst you feed baby
::encourage your elder child to be as independent as possible now, so they can feed themselves and do many things by themselves (age appropriate obvs)
::drop standards re. housekeeping, do only as much as it takes to make it feel clean and tidy
::ask for, and accept offers of help
::consider putting or keeping your elder child in some form of childcare a few days/half days a week, to give you a break and 1-1 time with the baby
::use the baby's nap times to have 1-1 time with elder child
::get a good, reliable system that'll allow you to get out of the house, at least a few times a week, with both children

It will be very hard, 2 under 2 are incredibly demanding but it doesn't last long. For me, it got easier at about 6 months when dd was weaned and I didn't have to fanny about with all the bottles every time I went anywhere (both were Ff), then easier still when she learned to crawl and didn't sit there crying in frustration because she couldn't get anywhere.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

I have a 16 month age gap

I don't remember the baby bit being particularly difficult for us it's been probably from them being 3&4, now 4&5

They can play lovely together, they entertain one another and are never lonely but they can also fight like cat and dog! The elder can be quite good at manipulating the younger. He also gets cross when his brother doesn't quite understand

Thanks so much for your insight, both of you. And some great advice, although I'm not sure quite how I'll relax my housekeeping standards any further - but I'm sure I'll find out! It's encouraged me to hear from others who've done the same, and come out the other side...

My middle two had a 14 month gap and it was fine.

Due to my spd I hadn't carried the older one for months - I used to have to put her into the pushchair in the house and then push her to the car, she used to crawl up the stairs for me, when dh was home he did everything for her that - end result was she really didn't have her nose pushed out of joint at all when newborn turned up, 3 days of glowering when dh tried to hold the newborn but that was the total sum of jealousy!

My other advice is get a 2nd cot - don't be insane like my friend and put the older one into a bed

Get a playpen for the baby, I also had a complete baby change area downstairs and upstairs (used washable nappies and climbing the stairs was just a nightmare due to spd) so I could change baby without having to go anywhere. I also didn't bath them lots, more top and tailed.

I much prefer this age gap over the other ones of 5.5 years and 2 years

No personal experience but have friends with gaps of 11 (and second DC was twins ), 12, 14 (twins again), 15, 16, 17 (twins!) and 18 month age gaps all of which make me feel like my 22 month gap must have been a breeze in comparison. They are all pretty much fine, I am happy to say! Benefits they mentioned were things like them having similar nap schedules, giving you some time out, in the early days. However, not withstanding the people with twins above, the people who've been most fine of the above were very much those with lots of help (grandparents or nannies). From my own experience of a slightly longer gap, by the time the younger was 1 the kids have had a really lovely relationship, often commented on by others. I found the first 12 months tough, I'll be honest, by I'm totally glad we have the gap that we do. YY to playpen (we actually used our travel cot, kept it in the kitchen and DC2 spent a lot of time in it when she was under 1), definitely YY to keeping both of them in cots for as long as you can.

That's v useful about cots - I had been thinking of trying a real bed for my daughter, but there's absolutely no reason we shouldn't get another cot bed. Also, my very first thought (luckily voiced by my husband before I had to say it) was that we should try to keep the nanny on while I'm on maternity leave - firstly because I don't want to lose her, and secondly so I can remain slightly human! Here's hoping it's not twins! Bloody hell...

I have a 14 month gap between DS1 & DS2. The first few months were tough although from what I remember, thud was mainly because

(a) I fractured my coccyx in labour with DS2 & struggled to walk let alone carry 2 babies up & down stairs & push a double buggy
(b) DS1 didn't sleep through the night until he was 2 so I was shattered.

Now though, they are 6&7 and are like twins. They argue & fight constantly but are each others constant companions. I feel for DS3 who must feel very left out at times.

Congratulations.

15 month age gap here and they are in sequential school years (now 9 and 10).

Although they are very, very different they will play together and we can go and see the same films and go and do the same activities and they interest both of them.

I found the baby stage hard with just one so I can't say another really made much of a difference.

I really like them being close together in age and think they are closer because of it. However, I would agree that they can fight like cat and dog (about nothing at all).

You will of course need a double pushchair and I found one of those rigid baby supports for bathing from newborn invaluable as you don't have to hold the baby. Also a car seat footmuff because if the baby falls asleep in the car seat you can zip off the footmuff so they don't overheat. I often used to get the baby ready first put in car seat then get the older one ready.

If you don't want to invest in another cot bed just buy a 2nd hand cot or invest in an Ikea one. HOpefully you can get them to nap at the same time

My older one was a late walker too and I have to admit that is a bit of a nuisance.

Do not rush into toilet training either, be led by the older one as to when they are ready.

16 months here (DDs now 6 and nearly 5). When DD2 was born I couldn't believe how easy babies were to look after, she just lied there and cried when she needed something! Second the two cots, we got a second hand smallish one for the baby for a bit. Also double buggy, we had a Phil & Teds, I used it for ages as it was good to be able to strap them both down! They've always got on really well and play together really nicely most of the time, and the benefits of them being interested in similar things are huge for days out/cinema trips etc.. Good luck!

Yeah, about the double buggy - I was thinking of a city mini jogger double (words not necessarily in the right order!) Does anyone have any recommendations? Obviously early days yet, but while you're all being so helpful..!

16mth age gap here. Hard work but so rewarding especially when they play together nicely. Mine are 3 and almost 2 now.

Prams - invest in a baby jogger city select. Best thing since sliced bread for me plus it is either a single or a double and you can get a city select buggy board.

I would 2nd the baby jogger select.