would you starve so that your child(ren) could eat?

[helsi]

silly things really that make you think but I have started to notice whatI automatically do without so that my children can benefit. I have become more selfless about things. Is this an automatic maternal instinct do you think?

For example, I cannot afford to shop until next week but stocks in the house are low.

I have made dd1 and dh some tea but have not had any myself as there really wasn't enough (told them I was not hungry) just so they had enough themselves.

I now remember my mum always serving herself last and having smaller meals if necessary but didn't ralise at the time.

I might have some toast later.

Does anyone else find that they would starve first just so that their children eat?

Oh always. I am bottom of the heap now, but happily so [happy]

duh!

Not thank god been in that position, but there isn't a shadow of a doubt that my children's well-being comes first. And after that, my dh's. We depend upon him too much to let him go without. But I know that he would insist on sharing with me in any case (smile). There would come a point at which the children would have to go short as well, because if Mummy's not able to keep going, who'd look after them. My grandparents were in that situation, and my mum and aunt still suffer the consequences of early malnutrition. My grandmother had an illegal abortion, rather than deprive the children she already had of the small amount they could provide. Imagine the dreadful situation you would have to be in to consider doing such a thing! Please god we will never come anywhere near that.

I don't starve as such, but yes certainly, I put my children first. Only just now at dinner time, i realised I had not done enough chips and it was me who did not have her fair share.

It amazes me how I even allow my children to eat the chocolate puddings if there is not enough to go round everyone. I remember my mother doing that and I thought she was mad as I could never resist anything chocolatey, but now, I am the one saying "You have it, I'm not bothered"

Oh I agree....it must be instinctive but I always seem to give DD and DS the 'better' part of the meal (not that they bl*dy well eat it!) I would also be the one to go without if there was not enough to go around. Saying that, if I am really hungry I eat something myself fast before I feed the kids just so I can cope with it and not loose the plot. A few extra minutes of hunger pangs won't bother them like a short tempered Mummy wil!!!

Yes. iF there was nothing in I'd feed them first deffo.

Yep and have done, well not starved but cooked the kids a proper meal and then had toast or cereal later myself.

I do this with all of the fruit. I dont like to eat any fruit as I always think that is one less piece available to them. Silly really.

And yes I always put my dinner out last and I basically have whatever is left over.

Would always feed littlies first and if there wasnt enough then I would go without. They are more important and need their energy to grow..me well going without would help me loose a few pounds so always a bonus

I've done the same as Nutty. When money was really tight, I was living on beans on toast, noodles etc so ds could have a decent meal.

Pecka - I am the same with fruit juice! I sort of feel it is the property of my children so don't drink it much even though I always used to buy it for myself before I had children. Mad isn't it?

Yes.

When ds1 was a baby, the only things I bought were cheap noodles, cheap bread, porridge, beans, eggs, UHT milk, and baby formula.

This was before I had any idea of the role nutrition plays in mental health!

I've just shared the punnet of strawberries, which came in the fruit box, between the children. I told dh he and I couldn't have any because there weren't enough.

However, I soimetimes have more than my fair share of any chocolate biscuits which make it into the house. Obviously I need to protect them from these harmful foods.

Thankfully I've never had to do this because of our finances, though have once or twice when I've had a hectic week and not got the usual weekly shop in at the usual time.

My Mum had to do it regularly when I was a little girl. Her wages didn't cover everything and my father was a dreadful gambler.

i would deffo starve so my ds could eat.....we went through a really rough patch a few months ago while in a hostel..i kept his diet as usual but i had to stop drinking tea and having little treats so he could eat the things he liked.

Yes, if I really had to. Children should come first when it comes to food - but equally, as someone else has said, you need to look after yourself too so that you've got enough energy etc. Bit like on a plane when they say adults should put on oxygen masks before putting them on children. Or a couple of generations ago when the husband/father had the major portion of meat or whatever - because if he was ill due to poor nutrition then there would be no money coming in to feed the rest of the family. I'm sure someone will disagree with that but that's how things were done.

Helsi, I'm sorry to hear times are hard atm. I hope it's a short lived situation.

I don't know, really. I think I am quite a greedy person and I don't like sharing

I hope I would do the right thing if it came to it.

This thread has reminded me of the terrible bit in 1984 where he describes his childhood and being so hungry that he would rage at his mother for more food, who would give him her (already meagre share)...and his remorse as an adult for having done so

What a horrible thing it is to not have enough to eat

I know this wasn't the point of the thread but can any of us help out, helsi?

Franny, your last 2 sentences, I was thinking the same thing but didn't say it

Helsi, really is there anything we can do to help?

Frequently at the moment,i have a pk of noodles and give the dc a proper meal cos theres hardly any food left.Cant afford to buy much and it costs more cos its a small town and i cant get to the big stores very easily.
They come first.(I need to lose weight anyway!)

sorry don't get me wrong - I am not on the breadline! its just the end of the month and so am using up what's left before I do a proper shop IYKWIM.