Feeling totally rejected :(

[Misty9]

I was sahm to ds until he was 22 months then I started working 4 days a week and recently his dad is now looking after him during the days full time except for respite from grandad which I never got

It's been 2 months of me working now and he rejects me from the minute I get home to the minute he goes to bed. He screams for daddy to do bedtime (we take it in turns) and tonight it has turned into an almighty meltdown (after he finally went down at 8pm - for an hour) the culmination of which is me on the sofa for the night as ds won't settle with me in the bed :( (he won't go in his). We have Wednesdays together, but he prefers doing stuff with daddy and I've been feeling so ill, it's been easy to let it ride.

Feeling very sorry for myself and in tears . Also, finding it hard to not reject ds right back, to protect myself I guess (like you would in a relationship) which isn't right or helpful, I know. Early pregnancy with another one and been feeling awful for a month now, and very ambivalent about another baby.

You poor thing....((((hugs)))).

But...don't take it personally. Honestly. I'm a SAHM to two DCs and my 5yo and my 2yo both regularly cry for Daddy, especially if I give an answer they don't like or tell them off.

It used to cut me up. Now I just shrug it off.

Ah my heart goes out to you. I was SAHM and now I work full time and DD does to my mum. She leaps from my arms when she arrives each morning, and crys when I try and take her home. Recently she had a tummy bug and cried for granny, even though I stayed home from work and nursed her. It hurts a lot, but I tell myself it is just a phase, and that at least she isn't miserable and missing me all day, which would be worse for DD. I try and be really fun and spend lots of time I can with her and hopefully it will pass. I try and remember that although when I was small Dad worked 6 days and week and m stayed at home, now I am grown up I love them both as much as each other. Hope it gets better for you.

My DS was exactly the same after I began working four days a week when he was 18 months old (only worked for 6 weeks). I know how you feel it's dreadful! And I used to be in tears regularly. It was absolutely heart-wrenching. BUT you're his mother, he DOES love you, and it will return to normal. I think for me it took a few months for it to get back to how it was before. And now at almost 3 he's a total mummy's boy. Hang in there - and don't push him to come to you. He will get over it.

I returned to work and DP did full time, It changed to DP for favourite for a couple of months then it was back to me and nows its a certain parent for a certain job e.g Daddy does bath, Mummy read stories.

Try not to worry.

Thank you everyone. It doesn't help that daddy is the calm one though less calm since doing it full time, gratifyingly and I am the more shouty one :( so I feel like a terrible mum too. My job ends in January and then dh will have to find work full time again, so who knows what it'll be like then! Gonna get ds into nursery for some afternoons soon, if he settles a bit.

Really ought to sleep as ds will be up at 5.30am. Bloody heartburn keeping me up though.

Sleep on your left side, not your right - it helps lessen the heartburn. (Dad's a gastroenterologist - it's something to do with positioning of oesophagus and stomach or something!). I had AWFUL heartburn in both my pregnancies. I feel your pain!