So how much does a baby actually cost?

[Madratlady]

Assuming that I am on maternity leave, the baby is ebf and I use cloth nappies then am I right in thinking that costs after the initial cost of buying nappies, pram, clothes etc will be fairly small? Obviously when I go back to work there will be child care costs. Am I missing something because dh keeps saying how babies are expensive but I can't think of any major costs unless I was buying formula or disposable nappies, which hopefully I won't be.

Dd is 18month. I worked out by the time she starts school ill have paid £30k in childcare :-/

My baby hasn't really cost us much. My 7 yo costs us loads.

The baby is 1 yo and has cloth nappies and wipes, was bf for 10 mo, so there were formula costs for a bit but I think only about 3-4 tins of it. The clothes get handed down and it's just all babygros really anyway, they are 50p each in the local charity shop, clothing a baby is very easy to do. We haven't needed childcare as I can take the baby to work with me. We have a hand me down cot and don't use a pram / stroller. There was the car seat, that was £60 in the sale but it's a first class convertible so lots of time left with it. Books are buy one get one free at the charity shops in town all the time and pennies to begin with - even if I want something specific I can usually find it for postage online. The baby can't walk yet (13 mo) so no coats or shoes or outdoor stuff needed yet. We spent £8 for the baby's first Christmas and £10 for the baby's first birthday. I don't use puree or special baby foods, I am happy for the baby to eat what we eat from day one so no special foods costs or spoons, blenders etc. I did buy a couple of the cheapy tommee tippee beakers when I started giving some formula. I was given a breastpump. I don't have a changing bag or changing mat or a baby bath, but I was given a baby bath seat which was good, the baby uses normal towels. I can't think of much else really.

The 7yo, though - swimming lessons, sport, music - wraparound care - holiday clubs - school clubs - school dinners - uniform - shoes!!! Food, snacks (always, always hungry) days out, special events, birthday parties, pocket money, bus and train fares, entry into places - and it's only going to get worse I'm sure.

Yes, babies are cheap - I'd say ours start getting spendy when they start school.

Surely every baby represents a different 'cost' to their family depending on sacrificed income?

DS has cost us 3/4 of my salary for 3 years (worked .5 and paid half of this in childcare) plus his living costs- let's say £100p/m plus clothing and equipment over time.

My calculations make it about £90k from 0-3... and then we started paying school fees.

I think they are cheapest as babies because it is one time that you can get almost anything second hand- they are not bothered.

Childcare is the major cost. £50 per day, five days a week - not pregnant with second and despite me being in what people would consider a well paid job it isn't worth it to go back to work full time.

If you have family close by then it would be much cheaper

Agree with what others have said- babies themselves are not expensive it is loss if income (most people don't get much in the way of maternity pay) and then cost of childcare when/if you go back to work. We have no disposable income due to me working part time and having nursery to pay for ( no family nearby to help) x

One thing that I hadn't thought about was how much time I spent on the internet looking at stuff I could buy. S&B I'm looking at you.

For coffee shop entertainment during maternity leave get a My Waitrose card - that's been my saviour for a free trip out as you get a free tea/coffee every day!

I think the main cost so far for me is loss of income while on maternity leave and the prospect of nursery.

For actual baby expenses - nappies, formula, pram, clothes etc - you really don't need that much and I found all our friends and family have been unbelievably generous. I bought a top for my son in a supermarket the other day because it's got to 4 months and I was a bit sad that I haven't bought anything for him yet!

Of course there's the knock on costs too, eg becaue of childcare costs we won't be able to save so much which will mean a delay in getting a more family friendly house. So think about the long term too, not just the first year.

I didn't find buying the baby stuff itself too expensive, but the peripheral costs took me by surprise - higher electricity bills from being at home more, having to buy much more petrol etc. Even little things like running the dishwasher more often as I am home all the time, not to mention the washing machine!

It depends on your situation. I didn't get any hand me downs - toys or clothes, so everything was new or ebay for me. DD was huge when she was born so new born clothes and nappies didn't fit and she raced up to a 12mo clothes size by 6mo, which means constantly finding new enough clothes to be sick on repeatedly It really is the childcare costs that do it for me though, it's by far the biggest household expense and she only does 3 half days!

I agree that babies are not very expensive, except for childcare. I breasted, used cloth nappies, didn't need to buy many clothes 'cos got given a load except what I wanted. I did spend £150 on a couple of decent slings, but that was it for transportation - no car or pram. You can get by with very little- you really don't need all the junk advertisers say you need.

What we really spend money on now as they're toddlers is TOYS! This is mostly my fault as I really can't walk past a toy shop without looking and I want to get them everything! I am now really trying to rein it in and buy just for birthdays and festive season.

Books are also an expense for us. Normally you could just make good use of your local library, which we did at first, but now we're abroad so we buy in English books.

No young babies are not really that expensive at all, until you go back to work and have to pay half your salary to keep them looked after in childcare. If you have two you may as well stay at home... We used real nappies too. Just stuck them in the washer with all the other milk and poo stained clothes.. Dont buy any of those pointles and large "baby" items which will just clutter your home - you dont need any of them. Baby seats and bouncers etc pointless really. Yes they enjoy them but equally they enjoy bouncing on your knee which does not cost anything or take up space. Bottle steriliser thing a waste of time (we were given it though didn't buy it) as LO would not take a bottle anyway (threw 40 bags of expressed milk away after 3 months). We were given almost all clothes so only bought some vests and some winter wool socks plus as she got into waking, some leather slipper things for keeping feet warm/dry-ish (even in puddles). Pushchair was a major expense and prob not really worth it - we broke it by 18 MO so she had to walk everywhere after that. That said I did walk 4-5 miles every day of maternity leave pushing it, so it got a bit of a hammering, which perhaps it would not have put up with, had it been a cheaper one.. Back carrier was a good buy (though expensie at £80) but also only useable to 16-17 MO - after that she was way too heavy..

Bike seat was a total waste of £120 as she hated it from the word go. In a decent (built up at the sides seat with 5 point harness and safety bar) they cant see anything at all past your @rse, and just get bashed around senseless on the potholes/bumps in the road. Keeping a tired baby awake by constantly bashing it agaisnt the sides of the plastic bike seat for a 20 minute bike ride (ten minutes of constant screaming before we turned round and cycled back for another ten minutes) isnt my idea of fun, or hers, so we gave up after about 4 or 5 attempts. Obviously once baby is larger and more mobile they need to be exercising themselves and are even less likely to put up with being sat still in a bike seat anyway, so I dont know how on earth others manage that one. There's no way ours would put up with it and the idea of trying to get her to/from the CMs down/up a narrow (one car wide due to parking) steep and bumpy hill in rush hour traffic on the only road to the A+E hospital (busy) was not at all tempting, so we've always dropped her off at CMs in car then cycled to work from there.

At 3YO LO now eats adult portions of most things regularly (so no more steak for us). Food bills have gone thorugh the roof! Craft supplies also rather expensive if your LO is prolific in use of glue, card, foam shapes and stickers.. Poundland/world and Wilkinsons are good for this type of thing but the amounts we get through are staggering. I did go through a short lived stage of pulling glued itmes off cards/paper and reusing them but it takes so bloody long to do I just haven't the time to do it now and just have to accept the extra expense. Just have to hope she doesnt turn out to be musical and want paino lessons (and piano)!!! :- )

If you've had an active social life, eating out a lot and long haul holidays pre-baby you will probably find that you can save quite a lot of money when you're, shall we say, more restricted.

It's very expensive in the first year because of loss of income and increase in spending because I'll go insane staying home. I had classes or went out every day. The classes are nearly £7-10 per session, and coffee isn't cheap. And when I was in town, I bought things. On top of that I'm not earning. I work locally and cycle to work. Town is further from home than my work, so commuting cost is higher when I'm on maternity. Heating cost a lot compared to an empty house during work hours.

Lets not even talk about how a break affects long term promotion prospects.

Either you lose a wage which for some women is £100,000 a year loss or you pay for 3 nursery places or a nanny if you have 3 children (which is about £30,000 a year) x 5 years. So yes they are very expensive.

Expenses caused by my baby:

• A cleaner (because the baby is scared of the fucking hoover.)
• Dinner in pizza express (because I am getting cabin fever). The most expensive baby swing in Babies R Us bought in high drama when I couldn't hold him the whole fucking day any more*.
• Gin (see above. Lots of).
• A new car
• Another new bigger car that fits three car seats along the back (plus obviously several car seats).
• A new house *Another new bigger house
• Clooothes. Single wear fucking clothes. Which I can buy at NCT sales... .... * where I also buy a fistful of push along toys to save my sanity
• Entire new maternity wardrobe (small - for reasons of economy) Entire new-fat body wardrobe (fuck it - this just is* my wardrobe now)
• Posh haircut and new shoes to dilute the pain of the above.
• A Buggy.
• Another buggy when the wheels came off
• Another buggy when the brother came off.

.....

And I reckon up about £300K lost earnings & counting.

(& I love em all!)

I didn't lose too much salary/pension on mat leave, as my work has really good policy on mat leave, but I only took 9 month maternity leave as the last three months is unpaid and we couldnt afford to do that. However, should you then return to work part time you not only lose some salary but also the corresponding pension, unless you top it up out of your own pocket (I do, but that is even more money going out) on top of your new childcare costs. This is the true expense involved in having a child, salary cut, and pension cut, on top of huge childcare costs. Buying clothes, extra food, shoes, or even prams and car seats are all minor expense in comparison. Depending on where you live you may find you need to pay for the education of your offspring, if you dont want it to be dire. We cant afford that despite wanting to as local schools do not appeal, but fees would be on top of the after/before school childcare needed and school uniform and trips etc so there is no way we can pay for schooling, but many parents will need to factor that into the total cost. The true cost in salary, pension and childcare is a very large part of the reasons why we only have one child. We can manage the item/clothes/shoes buying but the burden of childcare is really colossal when it eats exactly half of your salary every single month, and carries on taking a significant chunk of your income even after they have started school. We havent been on holiday not even in the Uk since our child (now 3 YO) started in childcare. Significantly, we managed to afford nearly 3 weeks abroad when I was still on mat leave before the childcare cost kicked in.

Gourd why is your 3 year old eating adult portions??!!
Toddlers should be eating just over half an adult amount ( at the most)

Childcare and lost salary/promotion are the big costs. Most of the rest is peanuts in comparison.

I went to a seminar about 15 years ago where they'd calculated that the average lost income to a woman with 2 children "Mrs Typical" was about £250,000 over a lifetime. It would be a lot more now.

New phone. "Lifeproof" motorolla clearly not tested in toddler/ tantrum/concrete floor conditions - £200

New jumpers and other non maternity clothes when they all got eaten by moths in storage wholst wearing maternity clothes -£500

New carpet after 1 yo spread Sudocreme all over it Who knew it leaves grey stains ?£ tbc once she is toilet trained

New glasses + assorted repairs over the years - £200 ish

Repairs to several necklaces - also tbc

New bras after dd shoved a hand full of blackberries down my top - well, still wearing it covered in stains.

We have three children and spend £1k on childcare a month (more durig school holidays). Plus DH and I now work part time so both have taken a 20% cut in salary. Plus I've had 18 months without pay while on maternity leave (SMP being about £100 a week doesn't really count, our savings have disappeared), and had my career at a standstill during the baby years. And I'm lucky, I have a good employer that pays full salary for 4 months and a track record of promoting mothers into senior management positions so once I go back I know if I work hard it will be rewarded. But no, babies don't cost much at all as long as you buy second hand clothes .

during not durig

Oh, and my meat addicted children will eat an adult portion of chicken but about 2 grains of rice and lick a vegetable. Does that count as a half portion?

agree with others say the costs go up and up every year
but babies are fairly cheap

On subject of maternity clothes, I got round that pretty cheaply too. I had some smart-ish loose trousers for work with a drawstring waist ...but I had those already. two of my pre-existing pairs fitted me all the way through pregnancy. I did get one other pair of (normal, not maternity) trousers cheap in the next size up to give me a change, not very smart but enough (I'd tell a very strict employer in the last month at work to sod off and buy more for me, frankly). I had to get a couple of bigger shirts too, again just cheap, again just smart enough. An old loose white blouse still fitted. Three pairs cheap jogging pants for outside work, now passed onto dh. Only other thing was a new swimming costume, again just a cheap normal one two sizes up. Most of those were each just a fiver. Total maternity wardrobe cost: £45. I haven't the money or the will to waste on fancy dedicated maternity clothes that I'm only wearing for 4 months. And anyone who criticised got told that.
I admit I've had to get new stuff post 2 pregnancies, gone up a size, but would have had to replace some things by now anyway.