Newborn freak out!

[abby81]

Dd is 11 days old and she is awesome. Yes dh and I are struggling with sleepless nights and not knowing what the fudge we are doing but we are taking every day as it comes.
But..... I have noticed that dd is beginning to wake up and she is not going to poop, eat, sleep forever and I knew this was going to happen but I am beginning to worry about what I am going to do with her! How do I know whether she should be awake or asleep? What activity is suitable for a baby in their first month? Can they go in a bouncy chair or just chill in their moses basket or should I constantly be engaged in the activity with her? All of which I am happy to do and I am sure I will be able to figure it out, I just want to make sure I'm doing the best for her.

Also I haven't been out the house yet. I did have a c section but I am thinking that I should get out. When did u guys take ur first outing/ walk?

At that age they just need sleep and cuddles. Nothing more. Boucy chair/Moses basket is fine.

they don't need any stimulation for a good few months yet. stimulation is being awake. relax and enjoy eyes open cuddles!

It'll just happen - when they're awake you'll slowly start doing stuff with them. But not for a while, eating's enough excitement for them at this stage.
I had a EMCS and was out an about (albeit slowly) about 2 days after coming home. But I'm an impatient old cow. I'd have gone mad after 11 days!

Just go about your normal life (well, newborn-normal which isn't necessarily that normal..) making sure you make plenty time for sitting down and having cuddles/rest for you. That's all they need.

I like singing to ds2, but it was a good month or so on from where you are now before I got much in the way of feedback from him.

I remember feeling just like you. As others have said letting her sit in a bouncer is fine, and she may like to look at things on her activity mat/ gym. I also sang a lot to ds at that age. Anything will do but you might buy a couple of lullaby CDs (I honestly couldn't remember any!!) and learn to sing those.

I had a cs and was out for a walk day 1 home from hosp. Take it easy but am sure you'll feel better for some fresh air and it is also an 'activity' for the baby if she is awake to see sky, trees, other people.

Don't worry about when she wakes or sleeps or eats for now so long as she seems happy. Things won't settle down into day time and night time for a while yet.

It's fine to leave her in her Moses or lay her on a playmat while you get on with stuff, or just enjoy the cuddles. Chatter away or sing if you feel she's bored but honestly she won't be, everything is new to her right now so just looking around is exciting. It took me probably two weeks before Inwent for a walk with the pram, I was in hospital a week and then too scared to go out for about a week after getting home. Try and just do a walk around the block if you can, once you've done it once you'll feel better.

YY you don't need any kind of activities at this age. Wait until she starts getting interested in things - you will know! You can do activities if you want but it will be more for you than her (which isn't a problem! Babies can be fun to play with!)

IMO the best thing ever for a newborn is just being able to see you go about your everyday life and for you to talk to her, about anything at all, give a running commentary if you like "And now it's time for breakfast, what should I have, hmm, I fancy weetabix, oh, it's the last one, we'll have to put that on the shopping list!" etc etc. Or just whatever rubbish pops into your head. If you have a sling she will be up at adult face height so easier to see around etc.

Congratulations on your baby girl!

This is EXACTLY how I felt with my first baby - I think I know what you mean! Firstly, just relax, you'll be figuring out a rhythm for you and your baby over the next few weeks (and it's mainly you, rather than your baby, that has to figure out a rhythm [to avoid that loaded 'routine' word], and it will be something that works for you and your family) that will happen automatically, don't worry about it (and a rhythm is not the same as a timetable!). Don't be scared of doing the wrong thing, your motivation couldn't be better (ie you want the best). Bear in mind the key objective is to keep them fed (so that they grow) and clean(ish), so that they are comfortable. Everything else will follow. With such a little one I would keep them with me during the day, in the pram (if it's lie flat) or in a moses basket, because you can move them from room to room (not when you go to the loo, but when you are finished in the kitchen, say, and relocate to the sitting room for an hour or so). Or there are baby mats, baby gyms, where they can lie on the floor (watch out for pets/clumsy visitors there). And then you can just leave them there until they need to be picked up, or you want to pick them up, or, if you are lucky she'll fall asleep and then you have a bit of me-time.

I also had a C-section and was quite anaemic and so could only move at snail's pace. I left the house by myself for the first time when DD was about 7 or 8 days old - i went to my local GP surgery (about 400 yds)where the community midwives were organising a bump&baby club for local new mums - that was a life and sanity saver. I would strongly advise going out and meeting other mums with newborns otherwise it's easy to get cabin fever and go a bit mental.

Oh guys your advice is so brilliant and so well appreciated! I am defo going for a walk first and then going to chill out about everything! Thank you so much!

Abby,

I had our firstborn (a DD) via an ELCS last Monday. The experience subsequently with a completely nocturnal and very hungry baby has been fraught and bewildering, and at times upsetting. We had probably ridiculous intentions in hoping to be able to get a newborn in to a routine - we gave up with this naive plan quickly and life became a little less unrelaxing.

My DH and I live in a second-floor flat, accessible only by stairs. Getting up the stairs 72 hours after the operation was much easier than I anticipated. i ventured outside for a short walk seven days after the op and my mobility improved significantly as soon as the stitches were removed. The fresh air certainly helped DD settle. I tried all her toys out to entertain her but she is so not interested - maybe in a few weeks time? The baby bouncer seemed a good move though.

Congratulations on your daughter - and good luck! (Or sleep - we definitely need both!)

With ds1 it took me 2 weeks to venture out of the house and I had to have dh with me and hugely stocked nappy bag in preparation for feeds, poops, variable weather, earthquakes, nuclear attacks etc. With dd2 I took her and ds1 (then aged 3.10yo) to the museum when she was less than a week old. With your first you feel like you should be engaged in activity with them or attending to their needs constantly or you feel guilty and some kind of lazy mum. With any subsequent children you realise that it really makes no difference if you constantly engage your newborn with books and toys and activities, and actually when they aren't sleeping or feeding (the main parts of a baby's day) they would probably be happiest just sitting in a little chair watching you potter about and occasionally waving a toy in their direction. Dd2 has largely been a content baby and has mostly watched her brother and I and been transported to nursery, soft play, playdates, the shops, with little semblance of a routine for the first few months. Both my dc's formed their own routine regarding naps, feeds etc. Always think to yourself if baby is crying and upset and you've fed, changed nappy etc, that they may well be tired and need a nap. Tired babies sometimes look like very awake and cross shouty babies! My advice would be to get out and about plenty, see other adults and babies - local mums and babies group? Make sure you have some adult conversation and aren't stuck at home all day wondering when to put baby down for a nap. And don't let anyone spouting Gina Ford come within fifty yards of you Congrats on your baby!