WE NEED SLEEP. HELP US!!! :'(

[yummymummyalleycat]

okay, so i'm new to mumsnet and i really need advice, my 6mnth old boy won't sleep well, and we're losing sleep because of it. We have a routine, bath at around half past 5, then a bottle then we put him into his cot at around 7/half past when he goes to sleep. Happy days right? NO. He then wakes up an hour or so later and doesn't really want a bottle (he'll have about 2 or 3 oz) he just wants to stay awake. He did this today for example and was awake again at at 8pm. He's only just gone back to sleep after an hour of near constant screaming and paddying, he hasn't wanted his milk either.... i'm still in full time school and have recently gone back after around 3 months of being away, and iv'e missed a LOT. im desperate for sleep so i can pay attention but its getting to the point where i'm not waking up for school and if i do (which is rare) i'm practically falling asleep all day. >ost nights James doesn't want to go to sleep til about 11/12 ish too, which doesn't help... some advice would be great... Please help me?? :) thanks, Al x

7 is very early to bed. My DD is 9mo, but has been going down at about 8pm since around 6mo. What's his nap schedule like? Is he getting plenty of rest during the day?

7

Oops! 7 isn't too early necessarily - but a lot depends on wakeup times and naps. What is the rest of his sleep routine?

It sounds like he's treating bed time as another nap.... Maybe try bath at 7 and bed at 8?

I would adjust your bedtime routine a bit. Really important that babies and children have about an hours wind down time before bed, or they are overexcited and will retake when the sleep cycle finishes.

I would take him up for the bath, brush teeth/gums, then dim lights and have a baby massage if he likes it (you don't have to be an expert just use some olive oil from the kitchen and give him a soothing rub all over), then into sleepsuit, story with bottle and into cot. Don't bring him back down after bath time. Babies can wake quickly if they go to bed overtired too. At that age DS was going to bed at 6pm, dd 4m goes with her brother at 7 but is v tired by then. Try bed a bit earlier before you try later, and do make sure he hasn't napped for at least 2 hours before he's due to sleep for the night.

Are you cuddling to sleep? If so he will wake when his sleep cycle finishes and wonder why he's not still in your arms. Try cuddling in the cot (leaning over) or sshh patting til he goes off, then after a couple of weeks move to being just near the cot saying sshhh, then gradually move away until you can just put him in the bed awake and say night night. (Much easier said than done!).

Another tip is to try white noise (download an app) started before sleep.

Good luck OP, you're doing brilliantly to keep going with school, don't give up.

(Just a gentle hint, but it's convention on here not to mention names, to protect anonymity, so we use DS for "dear/darling son" etc. there's a page of acronyms at the top)

Have been going through the same thing with DD and have found pushing her bedtime back by even just half an hour/45 mins has really helped. She was treating bedtime like another nap. Might be worth pushing bath time back until 6 or even 5.30 to begin with and see if bedtime can be 7.30/7.45.

I know it seems difficult as when they go down easily you don't want to ruin your routine, but it seems to have really worked for us, good luck!!

I don't think 7 is too early but your bath is!

At 6 months, DD was starting to wind down at 6 with some nappy free time for about 20 minutes. Then a nice warm bath. Then bottle about 6.45/6.50 and then bed by 7.00 at the latest. Wind down in total was about an hour at the most.

Another one here for white noise.

Also, our last nap was about 4.30/5ish for half an hour. So sometimes she would wake up at 5.30pm, then we'd still start wind down regardless at 6.

Agree with other posters who say that she obviously thinks bedtime is nap time!

Do you/have you had a dream feed at 11pm? Or is this something he's had and now dropped?

I would also advise speaking to your health visitor. They are great for helping getting you in a routine which works.

I will start by saying that I know not everyone follows our approach

At 6mo, DS was going to bed at about 9-10pm. We had a very simple bed routine - feed, change, pyjamas, lullaby, rocking. He had become used to this and would get sleepy very quickly, be in a fairly deep sleep within 5-10mins, went down in the cot and would be up around 9:30am. He napped about 3-4 times a day. This was when he just sort of 'naturally' got tired for bed and we were able to go along with it as we do not have a conventional work routine and don't need him up and out for a certain time. Fwiw his last nap of the day was around 6-7pm.

At 9mo (now), his needs are different and he is also going through a sleep regression. He naps twice a day, but the naps are longer than when he was at 6mo - usually at least an hour long. He gets tired for bed around 7-8pm, and wakes at 7-8am. With his current regression, he sometimes wakes once in the night, settles with some milk, and then goes back to sleep (hopefully over within a few weeks!). I still do the same as above for putting him down at night.

We have sort of followed his lead on this, so when he looks sleepy in the day we've put him down for a nap, when he looks sleepy in the evening we've put him to bed, and he has settled himself into a nice routine that works for us. We have tried to encourage sleep habits - we decided early on that he was to be in the bedroom, dark/dim, by 10pm latest, up and out at 6am earliest - to try and establish a day and night, among other things. But we have allowed ourselves some flexibility as well.

Your bedtime routine is far too long. I would have bath at 7 and then stories/cuddles/milk in a dimly lit room. Then bed at 7.45. Try not to bring him out of his cot at any waking unless you are feeding, just comfort him next to the cot.