Occupying a very unhappy 3yo

[bigwellylittlewelly]

DD1 is 3.2, she has a 3mo baby sister and has just moved to the preschool section at her nursery - she is not coping and is clearly unhappy, this is coming through in her behaviour being erratic. DD1 also has development delay (mostly speech) and cerebral palsy and is about six months behind her peers.

We have a homestart visitor, we have trips to the park and to our local playgroup with my friends who have children of a similar age and she enjoys these things. We tend to do these activities in the morning, home for a cooked lunch (DD1 eats well thankfully) a nap and then the loooooooong afternoon when baby cluster feeds.

I'm just wondering what other children enioy? I'm thinking if I can get a range of activities set up in different boxes and she can then choose one. She chews everything so i can't do sylvanians or anything with small bits. At the moment we;

Draw/colour
Play in the baby bath outside washing her scooter
Bake cakes (both real and pretend)
Try to do jigsaws but this is something she is hugely frustrated by due to poor fine motor skills
Kick a ball about
Blow bubbles
Loads of reading and stories
Playing farms
Dressing dolly

I try play dough but she eats it. Paint is just chaos.

I'm beginning to sense DD1 resenting DD2 in a big way and she has asked to leave baby at home a few times. Which is sad.

i would maybe focus on trying to have some 1-2-1 time with her, even if you can't do that every day. do you have a dp/dh who can care for the baby for a while in the evening while you do something with DD1?
or could a friend or family member come over and entertain baby for a bit while you and DD1 do something.

I definitely found with mine that I could do as many activities as I could think of, but what they craved was just time with me. especially true with my eldest as of course he was used to having me to himself.
it does get easier tho

Sensory play using rice or dried peas - just stick in a bowl and use cups for pouring or making pictures with them? Sorting things into colours or sizes, getting kitchen stuff out and pretend cooking, having a bath just to play with water toys? There are lots of blogs with ideas for preschoolers that are free or inexpensive anything that is like work or can be something 'important' (matching socks?) is great for that age. Hth.

I'm not sure whether she has the concentration but it sounds like you do a lot with her so don't feel guilty at putting the tv on. You could also try nursery rhyme tapes, dressing up, making camps, dinner sets.

You could also try to get out of the cluster feeds but I suspect that won't help you for long as DD2 is going to get more demanding for amusement as she grows.

Good luck.

A dolls house?
Yes to dried pasta shapes, get a wooden spoon and jars and a saucepan to "cook".
Try and let her help with baby - wiping when nappy changing etc. I'd also stick the tv on a bit and put baby in a sling as the afternoon cluster feed might actually be tiredness.

or of course while baby naps you can have free time with DD1.
as other poster said, even doing household things together can be fun if she's willing to help you... preparing lunch, emptying the dishwasher, putting clothes away etc

Hi sorry to hear you are havng a tough time, I have a 2.10DS and 25wks with his brother who will arrive in Dec when he's 3.1 so hope you get lots of advice from others.

I have worsening SPD so things we do together include:
Playing with Elefun - blows butterflies everywhere
Playing with plastic golf clubs inside (maybe not such a good idea with a baby though)
Play outside with real half size golf clubs (DH is old mad)
Water the garden/car with spray hose
Play on big acquadoodle mat - water only painting
Lots of tea parties, sometimes with real food - he has a "manly" plastic tea set from elc which he loves
Play catch with a slightly deflated football or big sponge ball
DS will play with trains and tractors on his own, he has a scooter and ride on tractor in our house too
I have a big box full of loo roll tubes and packaging boxes, tin foil etc which DS does like to play with. Usually part of a pirate or sword type game you could just make sure it has things in there that won't matter if they get a good chew, add in coloured tissue or bits from magazines and see what she does with it.

He is also very adept at putting on DVd's and I do give in let him watch tv from about 4.30 ish to supper time as if he's been active all day, he needs to start wind down at some point. Plus his tv diet of Fireman Sam, peppa and Ben & Holly does feed his imagination when he is playing. (our house is always on fire and I am forever needing to be rescued)