Going from 1 to 2

[mrsbeano]

I had a tough time with DS1 as a baby. I was misguided and listened to those who said to ignore books and trust your instincts. Unfortunately, I am without instincts and mainly stared and my screaming baby having no clue what he wanted.

DH is super and does know what to do. Now I just follow the clock and the routine that nursery has established. I thoroughly enjoy my time with him and love him to bits.

I am suitably put off having any more but DH thinks this is mean and that DS should have a sibling. I can think of a thousand reasons to not have any more but really I don't know if I could have another new baby who was like DS and come out of it sane.

So please be honest and give your account of what happens when you add another child into the madness.

Ds slept for 45 mins at a time max for 5 months. He had colic and reflux. It was very hard.
DS is now 3.3 and dd 4m.

Hard things:
Pg was awful, including debilitating spd which meant I couldn't play with DS on the floor or take him out.
I have less time with DS
I have less patience because I'm tired. I forget sometimes he's just 3.
Never a minute to spare, no napping when dd naps!
Unfeasible amounts of washing
When they both cry it feels like the world is closing in

Good bits
Dd is amazing, and a comparatively easy baby
I'm less tired with 2 than I was with just baby DS, mainly because I coslept from the start.
Watching DS make dd giggle is priceless, they adore each other.
It's so nice to do the baby bit with confidence that I know what I'm doing
Having a bay and toddler is much easier than being pg with toddler

Having an almost 3 yr gap is great for us. I have a cleaner but no family help, but DS goes to nursery 2 days.

Worth it. Yes, unreservedly.

I have ds1 4.9yo and dd2 10mo. I was anxious about having another as ds1 had severe silent reflux and feeding difficulties as a baby - in and out of hospital, and not on any solids still at 15mo. Dd2 has been very different and has largely had to fit in with whatever ds1 and I needed to do - nursery run, soft play, playdates etc. She is more chilled out and accommodating, possibly personality in part, but partly because I have been more relaxed with her and she hasn't been the sole focus of my attention. Yes, it's logistically harder having two! Getting us all ready to leave the house is an achievement, so the school run daily is interesting. On the plus side, I have learned organisational skills that I didn't know I was capable of! Overall - it is totally worth it. Dd2 is easier because she watches and is entertained by ds1 all the time. No-one can make her proper belly laugh quite like her older brother can! He is adorable with her, cuddles her and tells her he loves her, and introduces her proudly to his friends, followed by "isn't she cute?!" Watching them together warms my heart and makes me smile even on a bad day. One child is brilliant, and I don't knock anyone who chooses to stop there, but two children to me makes us feels like "family". All the best, whatever you decide.