Advice Needed

[timeteam]

Hello all, first post. And from a Dad!

My 7 year old son had an operation under general an. last Friday. Physically he's recovering well, but there are a few issues. He didn't go to school yesterday as he still hadn't recovered sufficiently to attend but I wanted to get back in the swing of things by dressing him. However he refused and we spent a good five or six hours trying to get him dressed.

He is the same today, just refuses to put on any clothes. If I try and put them on him he just screams the house down! Any advice would be most welcome.

Why doesn't he want to get dressed? Is he still in pain/tired/on medications? When will he be returning to school? Does he have any SN? Is he getting up or trying to stay in bed?

Thanks Andro.

He says it no longer hurts, but seems to have anxiety in case it does. He is getting up, but will only put a dressing gown on. Sorry, what does SN mean?

Really, he could return to school either tomorrow or Friday, but I don't think I'll be able to get him out of the house. It's a really difficult situation.

SN is special needs - so anything like autism, aspergers syndrome, sensory issues etc that could be making a difficult situation worse.

The anxiety isn't that uncommon after illness, injury or surgery, it can take time to believe that everything is okay. Are you able to break down why he thinks getting dressed might hurt; are there any movements involved that he thinks will hurt (lifting his arms over his head, trouser fastenings pressing against somewhere that would have hurt etc)? You might be able to work with whatever he tells you (x doesn't press/stretch on where you might hurt, so will you try for dad please?).

Are you sure that getting dressed is actually the problem, or is it a symptom of the real issue - by that I mean is the real issue rooted in returning to school? Is he worried that he might start to hurt as he gets tired/carries a school bag/runs around in the playground/get pushed in the general hustle and bustle of school life? He's 7 so is he changing 'areas' in the school (my prep school had different sections for infants an juniors, the change was quite significant) and getting nervous about that on top of his anxiety? Have you spoken to his teachers so that there;s a plan in place if he does get tired/start to hurt so that you can reassure him?

Sorry, there are more question there than an exam paper.

Depending on the above, you might be able to try getting him to agree to socks and a sweatshirt in place of the pj top in return for a small treat - and promise he can stop if it does start to hurt. Then progress to a tracksuit or something soft and comfortable tomorrow.